# Comparison of economic systems using cows



## financialnoob (Feb 26, 2011)

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. 

No balance sheet provided with the release. 

The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have 5 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

I've seen the "cow economics" analogy before, but your expansion on it, is a hoot! 

It's interesting how close to reality some of those comparisons are..
especially in the way individual societies perceive them. 

What about Canadian corporations comparison to "cows"?


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## stardancer (Apr 26, 2009)

A Canadian Corporation

You have two cows.

You apologize for your abundance and give one away.


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## Beaver101 (Nov 14, 2011)

*stardancer* - so what happens to the one COW a Canadian corp keeps?


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

You sell it to China and open a milk-importing business, subsidized by federal grants to ensure equal access to milk products in all provinces.


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

Beaver101 said:


> *stardancer* - so what happens to the one COW a Canadian corp keeps?


How about?

You threaten bankruptcy and loss of jobs associated with milk production.

The feds give you a tax break and give you a loan subsidized by the taxpayer.
loan. 

The province kicks in some more subsidized money to keep your milk operation in the province to protect any workers necessary to look after the cow.
You demand wage and benefit cuts/concessions from the workers or you will shut down the whole operation and send the cow to China.

The wage earners rebel and strike and you lock them out and shut down the milk production plant for economic reasons.
You sell the cow to China.

The Chinese take the cow and examine ways to make the milk cheaper using
artificial casein in the milk. 

You then buy the milk back from China advertising as "more natural" and undercut the any independent milk producers still left in business, hire a distribution network to sell it to the stores.

The stores take advantage of the whole price break and pass it on to the
customers. 

The consumers get sick drinking it because of bacteria and they force a recall on the milk.

You threaten bankruptcy and go to the feds for bailout money.

The feds not wanting to jeopardize their job creation program give in
and give you more bailout money from the taxpayers..

Sounds like this is the house that Jack built,
this is the cow, with the crooked horn, that ate the malt....


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## Kim (Jan 10, 2011)

I like it!


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## Beaver101 (Nov 14, 2011)

carverman said:


> How about?
> 
> You threaten bankruptcy ....
> 
> ...


 ... yep, and we'll end up the way of the Greeks. How shrewd.


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## Brenner (Jan 17, 2012)

*Canadian Corporation*

You have 2 cows.

You export raw milk for a nickel/litre.

You import refined milk for a dime/litre.

<edit>Your cows are blamed for global warming.


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