# Career Regrets



## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

I was curious if people have had experiences which later came back to haunt them, so to speak. 

I ask as I have a photo shoot opportunity which I have complete control over but would like to hear others' experiences...

-Y&A


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## RealizedReturns (Oct 16, 2010)

We've all got skeletons in the closet. I know one professional who had some criminal convictions come back to haunt him when the company passed a new criminal records check policy and started with existing employees.

People are generally pretty accepting though. If your planning on doing nudes, realize that coworkers may eventually find them and gossip. If you run for a public office or something, expect an opponent to use it against you.

but.. you only live once.


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## crazyjackcsa (Aug 8, 2010)

All sorts, but my biggest was not going after a promotion. I talked myself out of it: Too much hassle, not enough money, too many hours, too many meetings. They hired somebody else, and I was out of a job.

Taught me a thing or two, that's for sure.


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## LondonHomes (Dec 29, 2010)

I should have gone into IT way back.

I would have been there for the first internet boom could have been a ".com" millionaire.


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## HaroldCrump (Jun 10, 2009)

As RR said, everyone has skeletons in their closets.
Some have mass graves 
I'd be hard to imagine someone that has no regrets at all, esp. someone in a career/job for 5 years or more.

If you are considering an explicit photo-shoot, keep in mind that such things have a nasty habit of finding its way on public websites like Facebook, MySpace, etc.
Murphy's law being what it is, chances are that a supervisor or manager may come across it (never mind what he/she was doing on such a site themselves).
More and more employers are now doing background and investigative checks on potential/current employees.


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## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

I think if you assume anything you do will be published on the front page of the local newspaper, and its passes that test, then it is probably OK. Just remember that reporters often take things out of context.


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

I would say to let your ambition motivate you and make you stand out, but not in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable. Weigh all your options and don't let others influence/push you.

If you have doubts and are not happy with your decision, don't do it.


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## PoorPablo83 (Feb 8, 2010)

Do it with the understanding that others (including friends, family, current and potential employers) WILL see it, not MIGHT. If you're still comfortable with it, then go for it.

My biggest career regret: dating within a company. Never, ever, ever, ever again.


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

My advice is to post the photos here first, and let us decide.


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## FrugalTrader (Oct 13, 2008)

LOL @ Mike. I was waiting for who would be the first CMF member to post that!


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## Addy (Mar 12, 2010)

My regret has to do with not furthering my education while I was still young. I was extremely smart when it came to math and sciences in high school, but due to family history never thought of going to University. It's the worst mistake I could have made. Now I'm trying to get my undergrad degree and really, I'm not sure if it's worth it now I'm in my 40's.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

Are you comfortable with your family, friends, community and boss seeing those images? 

If you are prepared to accept the consequences if one or more of those people seeing them, then go for it. 

But be prepared, with the Internet, explicit images and videos spread VERY quickly and you will probably be recognized. Is it worth it to create those skeletons in your closet for the rest of your life? I would suggest it isn't worth it, based on some of the news stories I've read. Remember that judge in Manitoba? There are many other stories.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

I speak from experience here ,back about 20 years ago I posed for some photos for my husband.I kept them on my computer for my own personal use .Well I went out one night and my husband's brother was on our home computer and I guess he got nosy.When we came home a photo of myself was left open in the task bar ,My husband and I were horrified but we never said a word the next morning and they were immediately removed and put in a password protected folder .We have not done anything digital since lol


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## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

Thanks for the great advice everyone! My thoughts too had been go no further than what I would be comfortable with others (family, friends etc) seeing. I've had professional peers suggest I do modelling so I'm thinking this could be a fun foray into that. 

Does anyone have suggestions on how to increase the security over these photos? I will have a copy of all photos although there will be a release form. For example, the intention of the photos is for a calendar so can I add something into the release that the consent is for calendars only?


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## HaroldCrump (Jun 10, 2009)

Young&Ambitious said:


> Does anyone have suggestions on how to increase the security over these photos?


None whatsoever.
The images can/will be copied and forwarded in digital format.
It'll get uploaded to websites either intentionally or unintentionally.
Unsuspecting people's Facebook and MySpace accounts get hacked all the time.
Earlier this week, a Barrie, ON, man was arrested by the police for sexual harassment of some teenage girls.
He got their photos, cell phone number and email addresses by hacking into their Facebook accounts.

The release form will ensure that you cannot sue the advertising/marketing company for this damage.
Even if you could, the damage is already done at that point.

If modeling is a career you are interested in from a long term basis, then this could be a good opportunity.
In fact, notoriety may even be a good thing!

However, if you are primarily in a different line of work and exposure of such photos will cause embarassment to you personally and professionally, then go in with the assumption that this material will be revealed at some point.
Then make your decision whether and how you can handle the aftermath.
Then decide.


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## MikeT (Feb 16, 2010)

100% chance that all future employers and current employer WILL see them.

What are you doing just some headshots? Or a paid gig? In either case, keep your clothes on.

Marina: You're reminding me of Meredith from The Office. Do you have a shirt in your car with holes in it as well?


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## I'm Howard (Oct 13, 2010)

Man, I am really dumb.

I took business when I really wanted to take British History, got a job in straight commission sales instead of teaching, made a very good living all my working life and loved what I did, invested over the years in what ever asset was the flavour of the month, now I have to spend half the year in Florida instead of enjoying Canadian Winters.

To make matters worse, my Wife stayed home with the kids for eight years , and we have been together over 35 years.

Two kids, both Grads, hope they do as badly as I did.

Oh yeah, I am an Immigrant .

I did things the old fashioned way, outworked everyone else, lived within my means, studied and understood investing.


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## DavidJD (Sep 27, 2009)

I am thinking doing a sex tape and having it leaked to get into show business. Any thoughts?


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## Kim (Jan 10, 2011)

Too funny - and here I was looking for financial information.


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## peterk (May 16, 2010)

DavidJD said:


> I am thinking doing a sex tape and having it leaked to get into show business. Any thoughts?


Hmm. I'd suggest turning the lights off and using "night vision" on your video camera. It's more artistic...


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

MikeT said:


> 100% chance that all future employers and current employer WILL see them.
> 
> What are you doing just some headshots? Or a paid gig? In either case, keep your clothes on.
> 
> Marina: You're reminding me of Meredith from The Office. Do you have a shirt in your car with holes in it as well?


Never watched the Office ,don't drive and nothing with holes in it that should not be .I was truthful and shared experience from a personal computer with a nosy family member ,I am married to same man for 22 years.OP has head in sand if they thing this sort of stuff can stay hidden especially if it is a 'photo shoot' and paid job.Most photographers have YOU SIGN saying they now own the property and images.
You are correct this is a financial forum next thing we will be asked is should I sleep with the boss to get a raise lol.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

I'm Howard said:


> Man, I am really dumb.
> 
> I took business when I really wanted to take British History, got a job in straight commission sales instead of teaching, made a very good living all my working life and loved what I did, invested over the years in what ever asset was the flavour of the month, now I have to spend half the year in Florida instead of enjoying Canadian Winters.
> 
> ...


+1 Howard


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## plen (Nov 18, 2010)

marina628 said:


> +1 Howard


Really?

I personally found his post full of arrogance and hubris. Yeah because some person is considering a modelling shoot for income they're lesser of a person.

Sorry to say but the "old fashion" way was manual labour, toiling on the farms, working on an assembly line, saving every penny. Not studying and understanding investing.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

plen said:


> ...they're lesser of a person.


Please identify where the poster said this.


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## RealizedReturns (Oct 16, 2010)

PoorPablo83 said:


> My biggest career regret: dating within a company. Never, ever, ever, ever again.


I've seen this end badly so many times and have only seen it go well on a couple of occasions.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

marina628 said:


> +1 Howard


+1 to I did things the old fashioned way, outworked everyone else, lived within my means, studied and understood investing.
Reality sometimes people have to make tough decisions to get ahead ,the OP came to us for advise .Who knows maybe we are all gutter brains and she was offered to be a hand model lol
We see movie stars everyday being sold out for a few bux ,Something more than a bathing suit i think she will regret if her boss sees it or heaven forbid people assume for a price she will pose again.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

For the record the most scandalous thing I did at work was have my mom call on the toll free number  .


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

I understood exactly what Howard and Marina meant and that was, that times have changed drastically, that is all. I did not find the comment sarcastic, just pointed to past realities.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

OP needs to evaluate short term financial gains vs long term consequences.My friend's baby is a sears catalogue model and gets paid $75.00 per hour .Of course they had to spend some time and money on a portfolio but this baby made over $7000 in 2010!Maybe there is alternative projects you can consider or if the money is too good use a fake name and when/if it comes up in future blame it on your fake twin sister lol


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## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

Haha thanks again for the advice everyone! Based on the quality of the photographer's work I've decided to not pursue this opportunity. Although based on Marina's friend I'm wishing I'd had a modelling gig as a baby =P


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

That is average wages for their models so maybe still be able to pursue this on a part time basis.Just wear a winter parka in your photos


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## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

And for the record I am at the beginning of a great career as well so I wouldn't want to jeopardize that as well.


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## plen (Nov 18, 2010)

Toronto.gal said:


> I did not find the comment sarcastic, just pointed to past realities.


Wow, all of these are sarcastic are they not?



> Man, I am really dumb.





> now I have to spend half the year in Florida instead of enjoying Canadian Winters.





> To make matters worse, my Wife stayed home with the kids for eight years





> Two kids, both Grads, hope they do as badly as I did.


--

Either way I've just now realized that the topic was about Career Regrets and not just the OP's choice of considering a photoshoot. With that in mind I now do understand what I'm Howard was trying to say and it was not pointed at OP, it was a tongue in cheek assessment of his own life and whether he had regrets with which he does not. I apologize to I'm Howard for my original accusation and interpretation and will remind myself to not jump to conclusions.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

Young&Ambitious said:


> And for the record I am at the beginning of a great career as well so I wouldn't want to jeopardize that as well.


Good decision and yes, no sense jeopardizing a solid income/career for the short term thrill and attention. Skeletons don't like staying in closets.


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

RealizedReturns said:


> I've seen this end badly so many times and have only seen it go well on a couple of occasions.


Regarding dating at work: It worked for me - I ended up marrying her.


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## loggedout (Dec 30, 2009)

I wonder how much of this kind of stuff will matter in the near future where pretty much everyone will have something potentially embarrassing recorded on digital media.

I doubt things of this nature like "scandalous" pictures will be that important when everyone has something on them and it's so accessible.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

Even if everyone has them, the world you describe is a very nasty one with the most private images and videos being posted by both sides. God help you if you ever end up in an argument with someone. Scary stuff.

The best way to protect against this is not to film or take photos in the first place that you aren't comfortable with someone else seeing. They can't post what doesn't exist. 

Just because you can do something, does not mean that you should.


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

loggedout said:


> I wonder how much of this kind of stuff will matter in the near future where pretty much everyone will have something potentially embarrassing recorded on digital media.
> 
> I doubt things of this nature like "scandalous" pictures will be that important when everyone has something on them and it's so accessible.



I find it disturbing that this will become the norm. I don't think it has to be. Sure, everyone has some embarrassing things. I have video of me doing some goofy dancing with my kids fully clothed in rather ugly clothing, but I don't consider that scandalous, or being fired or black mailing worthy. 

I'd like to believe that most people don't have scandalous pictures of them out there or even in private, even in a digital world. I think this is more to do with judgement rather than technology. If you don't want something out there, then don't do it, or at least don't let it be recorded. If you're not sure if it will haunt you, then error on the side of caution.


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## atrp2biz (Sep 22, 2010)

Four Pillars said:


> Regarding dating at work: It worked for me - I ended up marrying her.


How did it end up working out for her??? 

J/K!


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## loggedout (Dec 30, 2009)

I'm not saying anything about what people should or shouldn't do. It's just a prediction of how "scandalous pictures" will probably not matter as much, in inferring something about someone's character or judgement for the post-facebook/social media generations. Every other 15-18y r. old girl/boy growing up now who has a camera phone or an internet connection probably has sent some "scandalous" picture/message to their bf/gf... so what's it going to mean for them when they are 30/40/50/etc.?

It's a brave new world.


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## Square Root (Jan 30, 2010)

PoorPablo83 said:


> Do it with the understanding that others (including friends, family, current and potential employers) WILL see it, not MIGHT. If you're still comfortable with it, then go for it.
> 
> My biggest career regret: dating within a company. Never, ever, ever, ever again.


I dated within he company and got the world's greatest wife out of the deal. Career survived intact too.


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## Jungle (Feb 17, 2010)

Four Pillars said:


> Regarding dating at work: It worked for me - I ended up marrying her.





Square Root said:


> I dated within he company and got the world's greatest wife out of the deal. Career survived intact too.


Add me to the list, dated at work, now married, very happy, but newly married


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

I think you guys are the lucky few. I've thought of this many times but am not sure I could handle facing the person afterwards. It would be really awkward to have to continue to report to work and face the person in the hallways etc if things didn't go according to plans.


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## brad (May 22, 2009)

the-royal-mail said:


> I think you guys are the lucky few. I've thought of this many times but am not sure I could handle facing the person afterwards..


Love happens, there's not much you can do about it. More precisely, there's nothing you can do about your feelings, but you can control the extent to which you act on them. Most companies officially discourage dating in the workplace for the exact reasons you describe, but in practice they recognize that it happens. It's risky, but as long as both parties recognize the risks and work hard to keep their personal relationship distinct from their professional relationship, it can work.


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## Square Root (Jan 30, 2010)

brad said:


> Love happens, there's not much you can do about it. More precisely, there's nothing you can do about your feelings, but you can control the extent to which you act on them. Most companies officially discourage dating in the workplace for the exact reasons you describe, but in practice they recognize that it happens. It's risky, but as long as both parties recognize the risks and work hard to keep their personal relationship distinct from their professional relationship, it can work.


Good post. Agree it is risky. Especially if it is a small employer.


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