# perform marriages in ontario - question



## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

Hi all - I have a question,

I am going to get married before this year ends (civil marriage). 

I understand that I have to get a marriage licence. However, I also need to get someone to marry us. That's the part I don't really like - I searched online and it looks to me like it's another money grab. There are ones who charge 300+hst and other who charge $100 cash only (seems a bit sketchy).

I also searched online and it seems like you can get certified to do it but was wondering if anyone on this forum has any experience with that.

Am I wrong to be frustrated with that? I could live with paying $150 for the licence but another 300 on top for someone to say a few words seems hardly necessary.

Thanks!


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

In British Columbia, the fee for a civil marriage ceremony is $75 plus HST and is set by statute. Of that fee, $50 goes to the marriage commissioner, and the balance goes to the government. When my late husband and I were married, we gave the marriage commissioner an extra $50 which, I think, is expected. The commissioner is entitled to charge a mileage fee if they choose to. Frankly, I don't think that's very much - I wouldn't do it for $50.

I think the BC government is in the process of changing the fee to allow an extra charge when the commissioner is required to be present for over a certain time - I believe it's two hours.


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## stardancer (Apr 26, 2009)

Why would anyone perform something for free, especially for a stranger?


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

Yes, you are wrong. The person doing the marrying will spend a certain amount of time doing it and deserves compensation. Are you expecting it to be free?

The person we hired cost something like $350/$400. We met with her for about 45 minutes in advance to discuss the ceremony and what vows etc that we wanted to do. She gave us instructions regarding the vows (ie do them).

On the day of the wedding, she showed up and was there for probably 40 minutes in total (the ceremony was only about 5-10 minutes).

I assume she has some sort of certification/license to allow her to do marriages. She also had a fancy gown + hat which probably cost some $$. That plus the time she spent with us and travelling to the wedding costs money.


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## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

Four Pillars said:


> Yes, you are wrong. The person doing the marrying will spend a certain amount of time doing it and deserves compensation. Are you expecting it to be free?
> 
> The person we hired cost something like $350/$400. We met with her for about 45 minutes in advance to discuss the ceremony and what vows etc that we wanted to do. She gave us instructions regarding the vows (ie do them).
> 
> ...


FP, let me be clear that I don't expect anything to be free - that's why I don't really have a problem with the $150 fee for the license. 

If you want all the bells and whistles then you should pay - no question about it. My frustration is more with the fact that I have to do it at all. I don't see how any value is added in my case. Or am I missing something?


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## Jim9guitars (May 5, 2012)

Saniokca said:


> I don't see how any value is added in my case. Or am I missing something?


I think it's more a matter of making it legal/legit on all counts, you need the license and you need the proper person with the right credentials or you are not legally married. I've played live ceremony music for hundreds of weddings over the years and every single one of them had the authorised person(pastor, JP, priest etc...) performing the actual ceremony.


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## Koala (Jan 27, 2012)

I think for a ceremony, the prices are reasonable. In AB, I looked into the prices, and to simply get married, there is the $80 license, and a commissioner charges $140 for just the legality. There are a total of 5 people allowed to be present for that price, including the couple and the commissioner. All 4 parents could not be present. If you don't bring your own 2 witnesses, there is an additional fee.

I think that's a bit excessive for a young couple who just wants to be legally married, without having a wedding.


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

You need two things: a marriage license, and someone to solemnize ("authorize") the actual wedding. Both parts are required - if you just get the license, you aren't married; and the officiant can't actually perform the marriage (and make it valid) without the license. Both parts cost money. It's like how you need a driver's license AND a you need to register your vehicle in order to drive a car around: that's why you get asked for "license and registration," because both are required.


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## Koala (Jan 27, 2012)

Moneygal, what do you think is a reasonable price for the 2?
I think BC is reasonable for the bare minimum, especially if the couple is going to the commissioner's office.


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## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

MG I don't know if I agree with your example. It is important to know who the car belongs to in case of accidents, theft (is this correct?). 

Usually certification/designation is required for lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc that have to state a qualified opinion. I am not sure what qualification is needed to marry someone unless it's a religious marriage.

I think one should pay the fees for a marriage licence (admin fees for the government I guess). Then 2 witnesses should be enough.


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## Mall Guy (Sep 14, 2011)

Elvis will do it for $195 (plus a minimum $60 tip) . . . but you need to get to Vegas baby :biggrin:

Elvis "MEMORIES" - $195
"Elvis" will Sing 2 Songs of his choice
1 rose presentation for the bride (fresh rose)
"Elvis" will walk the bride down the aisle. (If you wish)
Special "Elvis Vows" will be included.
Add a DVD video for only $60.00 (Guests may not take videos unless this package is purchased.)
CD of 20 high resolution digital photos (Add 20 more photos - only $25.00)
Add the Live Web Cam - only $20.00
Complimentary Limousine for 6 people. (from and to your hotel) Additional guests can be transported in additional limos. Ask for details.
-We will provide envelopes for the minister (If a minister is needed for an actual wedding) and for the limo driver, the "Elvis", and the photographer. For the Minister, we request a minimum of $60. Gratuities are NOT included in the package price and are expected.


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

I don't know how marriage commissioners are appointed in other provinces, but in B.C. they are appointed and authorized by the provincial government; many of them are retired people looking for a bit of extra income, and I suspect one has to be "friend" of the government in some way in order to get the appointment.

I'm getting the impression that the OP doesn't realize the difference between the cost of the marriage licence, which is paid to the government, and the fee paid for the services of the marriage commissioner. If he thinks he should only pay the cost of the marriage licence, then he seems to be thinking that the marriage commissioner should do their job for nothing.

I seem to recall that even in the long ago days when I was first married, one was expected to give the minister of the church a gratuity too, even when it was the minister of a church where the bride and/or groom were members of the congregation.


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## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

Karen said:


> I'm getting the impression that the OP doesn't realize the difference between the cost of the marriage licence, which is paid to the government, and the fee paid for the services of the marriage commissioner. If he thinks he should only pay the cost of the marriage licence, then he seems to be thinking that the marriage commissioner should do their job for nothing.


I was questioning the necessity of the commissioner altogether. If one desires to have someone to perform the ceremony then obviously the commissioner should be paid. Where did I claim otherwise?


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

I apologize, Saniokca. I misunderstood what you were saying. I'm puzzled, though, about who would marry you in a civil ceremony. It has to be someone who is officially authorized to perform marriages in order for the marriage to be legal. Or am I still misunderstanding you?


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## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

People often misunderstand me... Must be my great communication skills. "I'm puzzled, though, about who would marry you in a civil ceremony." sounds funny until I read your next sentence 

If I don't want any official ceremony, why can't there just be a form with a nominal administration fee, where I sign 'I do', my wife-to-be signs 'I do', so to the witnesses, etc., and I just send it off for processing. I fail to see the value of the wedding officiant if I do not want any ceremonies to begin with. 
And fine, if they so do require my presence, why can't it be done more like getting or renewing any other license without the whole show or a stranger asking me the 'I do' question??


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

Saniokca said:


> "I'm puzzled, though, about who would marry you in a civil ceremony."


Lol. Good question! 



Saniokca said:


> If I don't want any official ceremony, why can't there just be a form with a nominal administration fee, where I sign 'I do', my wife-to-be signs 'I do', so to the witnesses, etc., and I just send it off for processing. I fail to see the value of the wedding officiant if I do not want any ceremonies to begin with.
> And fine, if they so do require my presence, why can't it be done more like getting or renewing any other license without the whole show or a stranger asking me the 'I do' question??


I've never thought about this before, but I agree with you. Why can't you just get a license, sign on the dotted line and be done with it?


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## Koala (Jan 27, 2012)

Especially as we had to take an oath to get the license to start with. Do all provinces have the oath? We decided to make it difficult, there's a religious and non-religious one here, and we each took a different one.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

In 2003 we hired a retired minister to come to our home and baptize our daughter .Shouldn't be too difficult to find somebody to marry you.City hall maybe?


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

> If I don't want any official ceremony, why can't there just be a form with a nominal administration fee, where I sign 'I do', my wife-to-be signs 'I do', so to the witnesses, etc., and I just send it off for processing.


Obviously, my communications skills left something to be desired too, but I finally see what you meant. Not a bad idea, although personally I would want a little more formality than that!

Sorry for the suggestion that nobody would want to marry you - I hope it's obvious that I didn't mean it that way.


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## Jim9guitars (May 5, 2012)

Karen said:


> although personally I would want a little more formality than that!


This says it all. If you pull off getting married by cutting corners and avoiding certain traditions that most people, women especially, think are romantic it will come back and haunt your married life. Just sayin'.


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

The license and the marriage are two different things. It's like how you need both a driver's license and to have your vehicle registered in order to drive -- the marriage license attests that you are legally able to marry (you aren't already married to someone else, you aren't each other's siblings, etc.) -- but just getting the license doesn't make you married. 

You actually have to have your intention to married solemnized by someone who is legally able to do so. You don't have to make vows, you don't have to speak aloud, it does not have to be formal -- but you have to take your license to someone who is able to validly marry you, tell them your intention to marry each other, and have them and you sign marriage forms.


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

When you obtain a marriage license you are essentially swearing out an affidavit that you are eligible to marry each other; and you are pre-paying the administrative cost to the province of legally registering your marriage after it has been performed. (To OP - You will not be pleased to know that in some provinces it will cost another small sum to get a copy of the marriage certificate. About $20 in Ontario)

But as MoneyGal points out you still need to pay a qualified person to perform the ceremony. Depending on where it is done you have to consider the value of their time; the value of any space they provide if it is done on their premises; and the cost of their travel time of it is done off-premises.

In Ottawa you can still get married by a Justice of the Peace in his offices for about $160. In a brief search of Toronto's web site it appears to me that TO has privatized the ceremony - they just refer you to private agencies that will conduct civil weddings. But they will rent space at City Hall to you for the purpose.


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## Cal (Jun 17, 2009)

Saniokca said:


> MG I don't know if I agree with your example. It is important to know who the car belongs to in case of accidents, theft (is this correct?).
> 
> Usually certification/designation is required for lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc that have to state a qualified opinion. I am not sure what qualification is needed to marry someone unless it's a religious marriage.
> 
> I think one should pay the fees for a marriage licence (admin fees for the government I guess). Then 2 witnesses should be enough.


Seeing as this is a financial forum...I can add a little financial spin on this.

Not all marriages are as simple and straight forward as you are thinking. When you look at the potential finances involved when a couple gets married, or on the negative side, when they potentially separate. Wouldn't you want to know that the other person is legally separated, and has the proper documentation. The person that solemnizes the marriage will verify this for you. I know it sounds crazy but some people do actually try to get married before they are divorced and/or despite the fact that they are still married to someone else.


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## Saniokca (Sep 5, 2009)

Cal said:


> Seeing as this is a financial forum...I can add a little financial spin on this.
> Wouldn't you want to know that the other person is legally separated, and has the proper documentation. The person that solemnizes the marriage will verify this for you. I know it sounds crazy but some people do actually try to get married before they are divorced and/or despite the fact that they are still married to someone else.


Can they actually verify this? I was under the impression that the license application takes care of that (but I am not sure).

I'll call ServceOntario to find out more - will keep you posted 

Also, I found this on the Ontario website:

"Is my marriage legal if I have an Ontario marriage certificate? 
Only a court can determine if your marriage is valid. The Office of the Registrar General registers marriages that 
occur in Ontario according to the Marriage Act. The marriage certificate is an official record of the registration of 
the event but does not confer validity. If you have questions about validity, you need to speak with a lawyer."


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

Neither the City Clerk nor the officiant are going to do a world-wide search to determine if either of the parties has lied about their marital status - especially not for $150.


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