# Engagement ring



## Ethan (Aug 8, 2010)

I'm curious what members on this forum think about engagement rings. The traditional view is they should cost the man 3 months salary, but I never understood what that meant. Is that before or after tax? Is it strictly salary or does it include bonus? Does investment income get factored in? What if you're working on contract out of town, your housing and travel is paid for and you get per diem'd, does that get factored in in any way? Or should you just divide last years taxable income by 4?

How much is appropriate?


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

Traditional according to whom? You should do what works for you. I think you're trying to bring financial planning "rules" into a marketing conversation - they aren't going to fit, because you're not really supposed to think about this in that way. Instead, this is an inducement to persuade men into spending "a lot" on an engagement ring.


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## Sampson (Apr 3, 2009)

MoneyGal said:


> Traditional according to whom?


De Beers of course.

Ethan, if your future fiancee is worried about pre-tax, bonus included 3 month salary, then she is either a member of CMF, or too concerned about money (not mutually exclusive). Buy whatever works and fits the budget. Spending $10,000 on a ring is pretty ridiculous. You get much more enjoyment out of going on a honeymoon to Tahiti or creating memories elsewhere.


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## Spudd (Oct 11, 2011)

My engagement ring was $550 and I love it. At the time my fiance did not have a job, so it was >3 months salary (infinitely greater, even) but even if he had a job I would not have wanted a fancier ring. It all depends on your fiancee and her taste.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

buy whatever ring for cash that you can afford .In 20 years you can buy her a nicer one


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## m3s (Apr 3, 2010)

Since we have been in the age of equal opportunities in Canada for decades now, I should expect to get a motorbike worth 3 months salary in return. At least motorbikes aren't sometimes built by slavery to fund ethnic cleansing, and they serve a more functional purpose as well. :hopelessness:


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## crazyjackcsa (Aug 8, 2010)

My crack dealer says I need to spend more money on crack. I tell him I want to, but my bookie keeps telling me he'd like me to drop by more often. That wouldn't be such a big deal except my real estate agent keeps telling my I should upgrade my home.

TT


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

marina628 said:


> buy whatever ring for cash that you can afford .In 20 years you can buy her a nicer one


+1...

My husband said that he bought my ring earlier, because he knew it would just get more expensive as he moved up *lol*

The 2 months was based on a general rule of thumb years and years ago, and it was two months salary. So the best time to get engaged is when you are unemployed.

Seriously, buy what you can afford, and that she will love, hopeful the two will not conflit.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

mode3sour said:


> Since we have been in the age of equal opportunities in Canada for decades now, I should expect to get a motorbike worth 3 months salary in return. At least motorbikes aren't sometimes built by slavery to fund ethnic cleansing, and they serve a more functional purpose as well. :hopelessness:


I agree which is why I bought my husband a sports car BEFORE I picked out my new diamonds lol


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## Ethan (Aug 8, 2010)

Turns out I spent enough, she said "Yes" about an hour ago.


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

Congratulations!


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## Cal (Jun 17, 2009)

Congrats!

Perhaps you can get her to log in and comment on your query. LOL.


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## Spudd (Oct 11, 2011)

Congratulations!! Did you actually go out and buy the ring in between asking the question and proposing? Or was it more of a theoretical question?


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

Super mega congratulations!!!


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## Dmoney (Apr 28, 2011)

Spudd said:


> Congratulations!! Did you actually go out and buy the ring in between asking the question and proposing? Or was it more of a theoretical question?


I really hope this ^^^^^ 

Congrats... Bachelor Party!!!!!!!!!!!


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## liquidfinance (Jan 28, 2011)

mode3sour said:


> Since we have been in the age of equal opportunities in Canada for decades now, I should expect to get a motorbike worth 3 months salary in return. At least motorbikes aren't sometimes built by slavery to fund ethnic cleansing, and they serve a more functional purpose as well. :hopelessness:



I'm with you on that one :hopelessness:

But to the OP you should spend what you feel comfortable with. If the one you are getting the ring for judges it based on the money spent then is this the one you should be spending the money on in the first place?


*EDIT*

CONGRATS!


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## jcgd (Oct 30, 2011)

The more they love you, the less they will care how much you spend. A $0.25 ring should suffice if all they care about is you!

Congratulations Ethan!


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

I'm so glad she did - and I will guarantee you that the cost of the diamond was the last thing on her mind!


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## Ethan (Aug 8, 2010)

Thanks all for the kind words.

To answer your questions, I bought the ring 4 weeks ago, this wasn't a spur of the moment thing. I started this thread out of curiosity as I was waiting for her to come over. The ring was rather expensive, it worked out to approximately 3 months of after tax salary, but I'm on a rather lucrative contract where I have a downtown condo paid for by the company, I get per diem'd on my food and $270/week in travel (contract is in Saskatoon but I live 250 km away in Regina). I also make 5 figures off my investment properties, and get bonuses through my work. This is why I wondered how much to spend, because depending on what metric is used, the ring cost 3 months salary (base pay after tax) or 1.5 months (including investment income, bonus pay and perks of the contract).

My fiancé and I are very frugal. We're both Chartered Accountants. Our cars have a combined 300,000 km on them, the house I bought is small, with a basement rental suite and close enough to downtown that we both walk to work (we lived together before getting engaged). We always pack lunches and seldom eat out. But when it came to a ring, I spent a lot because it is something that will be on her finger forever, and everyone will want to see it and ask about it. Just by driving older vehicles and living near downtown, we have saved the cost of the ring several times over compared to most people our age (new cars and commuting from the suburbs). I'm 28, she's 29, our combined net worth is just shy of $300,000, so it was fun to splurge on something for once.

But since this is a frugality thread, I'll share how I saved money in buying the ring. We had decided on getting a platinum ring. All the jewellers we talked to said platinum was more expensive than gold, therefore a platinum ring cost twice as much as a gold ring. When I was negotiating the price, I asked why a platinum ring cost twice as much when spot platinum prices are lower than spot gold prices. I pulled out the Bloomberg app on my iPhone and showed him the spot prices for the two (platinum was $1690, gold was 1,730). The jeweller told me about how platinum in a ring is 100% pure, while gold needs other cheaper metals mixed in to hold its shape, but he didn't realize the spot prices were so close, so he ended up charging me only slightly more for the platinum, instead of the 100% markup from gold that he and every other jeweller were pushing.


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## m3s (Apr 3, 2010)

Congrats Ethan :encouragement:

I live on per diem most of the time as well but I don't really consider it as income anymore, it all comes out in the wash after awhile. The free meals are a bonus when you're single unless you have a family at home in Regina to feed and would eat home cooked meals etc Really you're being compensated so that you're not financially disadvantaged with 2 homes, driving between Regina and Saskatoon, 2 grocery bills etc. Investment income for properties might need to pay for maintenance or bills on those properties some day etc. Anyways, you're wealthy for your age so I really doubt anyone would think you were cheap on the ring and who cares

It's nice when you can use iPhones to save big money on the spot, I've found it a handy tool against marketing as well


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## aviator (Nov 21, 2012)

Congrats Ethan!


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## humble_pie (Jun 7, 2009)

Ethan said:


> ... when it came to a ring, I spent a lot because it is something that will be on her finger forever ... since this is a frugality thread, I'll share how I saved money in buying the ring. We had decided on getting a platinum ring. All the jewellers we talked to said platinum was more expensive than gold, therefore a platinum ring cost twice as much as a gold ring. When I was negotiating the price, I asked why a platinum ring cost twice as much when spot platinum prices are lower than spot gold prices. I pulled out the Bloomberg app on my iPhone and showed him the spot prices for the two (platinum was $1690, gold was 1,730). The jeweller told me about how platinum in a ring is 100% pure, while gold needs other cheaper metals mixed in to hold its shape, but he didn't realize the spot prices were so close, so he ended up charging me only slightly more for the platinum, instead of the 100% markup from gold that he and every other jeweller were pushing.


more congratulations ... this is a story for the children & grandchildren. It will become part of the family mythology, i'm sure.

plus you just might have started a national vogue for talking down jewellers who offer platinum as a setting for anything, including engagement rings & wedding bands !


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

Ethan said:


> 1. The ring was rather expensive
> 2. I pulled out the Bloomberg app on my iPhone and showed him the spot prices for the two (platinum was $1690, gold was 1,730).


1. Then should not be under the frugal section [though i got your savings explanation]. But lol at the price rationale, but I guess you're a numbers person. 
2. *So brilliant! *

I had been given a square shaped 'natural emerald' gemstone, then took it to our jeweller and chose to have it mounted in yellow gold & surrounded by small/round brilliant bezel diamonds [similar to Lady Diana's ring in design]. Not my birthstone, but my favourite gemstone. 

Seems like a smart man figured that he had found the perfect woman! I'm curious why yesterday? Did that date have any significance for you both, if not, why not have waited until Dec.31st/Jan.1st, for example? 

*'Candle light, moon light, star light,
The brightest glow is from love light.'*


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## GoldStone (Mar 6, 2011)

Congratulations Ethan!!


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## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

Congrats Ethan! 

Though I must say I am curious, what do you mean by expensive? Some think $5k is expensive, others think $20k is an investment well spent (in your woman that is and scaring other people off from hitting on her).


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## doctrine (Sep 30, 2011)

From my experience, people will spend at least 1 month of after tax income on a ring. Regardless of whether people on this forum or elsewhere think we are in a modern society where such things do not matter, there is incredible social pressure to spend at least a minimum amount on an engagement ring. People who make $100k a year just don't buy $1k engagement rings, they buy $5-7k engagement rings. But people who are only making $30-40k a year might get away with a $1-2k engagement ring.


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## Ethan (Aug 8, 2010)

Young&Ambitious said:


> Some think $5k is expensive, others think $20k is an investment well spent


Halfway between those two figures, plus a little bit.

No significance in yesterday's date, just a sense of urgency in that I only have my Saskatoon condo for 4 more weeks. It's 14 stories, on top of a hill overlooking downtown Saskatoon and the river. We're busy with UFE and Christmas parties the next 3 weeks so I needed to get it done this week, and I wanted to do it on the rooftop garden given the view.


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## bayview (Nov 6, 2011)

First Congrats Ethan!

I cant remember how much I spent on our wedding ring. We didnt get engaged first. I dont remember agonising how much I much I should spend and we went shopping our rings together and she decided on the design. It wasnt an expensive pair Im sure as I wasnt well off then. 

Most important to me was she did not pre-judge our marriage success by the size of the stone. We wore our rings only for the first 2-3 years coz our fingers outgrew them and also I dont like wearing rings. I dont even wear a watch although I still have a few antique watches.

I never bought her another ring even since and we just celebrated our 25th anniversary. Size doesnt always matter!


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

Ethan said:


> No significance in yesterday's date, just a sense of urgency....


Romantic Ethan! 

Sorry for having been nosy, I just wanted to know if there had been a b'day or anniversary reason, but I guess any day for such a happy event is great!

*Bayview:* size of ring should never matter; in fact, it's not necessary even.

Also,


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## thenegotiator (May 23, 2012)

Ethan said:


> Halfway between those two figures, plus a little bit.
> 
> No significance in yesterday's date, just a sense of urgency in that I only have my Saskatoon condo for 4 more weeks. It's 14 stories, on top of a hill overlooking downtown Saskatoon and the river. We're busy with UFE and Christmas parties the next 3 weeks so I needed to get it done this week, and I wanted to do it on the rooftop garden given the view.





Toronto.gal said:


> Romantic Ethan!
> 
> Sorry for having been nosy, I just wanted to know if there had been a b'day or anniversary reason, but I guess any day for such a happy event is great!
> 
> ...


congrats Ethan

T.gal
I am almost there where the balloon says.

Ethan one word of caution... Insure the ring..... trust me


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

thenegotiator said:


> I am almost there where the balloon says.


Nice! Here's to 25 more [the golden one], for you & bayview! :encouragement:


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## thenegotiator (May 23, 2012)

Toronto.gal said:


> Nice! Here's to 25 more [the golden one], for you & bayview! :encouragement:


Thanks a lot .
till 120 years of life as we say .
the cake is very very pretty:love-struck:


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## Ponderling (Mar 1, 2013)

Almost 20 years ago now, my wife was quite happy with a $2000 ring,she did the picking, with me in tow. Not 2 or 3 months salary for me at the time. I new I had a frugal one that day. Still is. 

Then to my wedding band. Well, when I do site inspections and when I work hobbying rigging shows at the theatre, and in the darkroom around photo chem baths, when I don't wear any rings. So she bought me a simple $75 gold band, and $300 hiking boots. I still wear the boots regularly 20ish years on, in the snow mostly, so they were certainly worth the money. 

Most of the time my wedding band is on my key ring, next to my engineers iron ring and the house key
The iron ring I have lost twice before. The joke with that one is that it took me at least $20,000 for the right to wear the first one of those, and $6 for each replacement.


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