# Finding money, do the right thing and its not appreciated.



## praire_guy (Sep 8, 2011)

Just a bit of a rant here. 

I found an envelope with 425 bucks cash in it. It was money for a soccer tournament. It wasn't mine and I knew who's it was so I did the right thing and phoned the person whom it belonged to. 

It took 3 days to give the money back, and it was her sister who picked it up. 

The whole exchange took less than 10 seconds. A quick snatching of the envelope out of my hands, and a quick thank you and merry Christmas , very much not heartfelt. 

I wasn't expecting any reward, but at the very least a phone call the next day from the actual owner would have been nice. Maybe even a thank you card?

Am I expecting too much?

If it were me who lost the money, I would have picked up the money ASAP , a giftcard for sure, and hugs all around, even if it was a guy. (Not that there's anything wrong with that). 

You hear all the time about people losing money to never see it again. Now I know why. I got the impression that had the roles been reversed, I would have kissed 425 bye bye. 

Sorry for the rant. Kinda turned off by the "attitude" but in the end I still feel good for doing what was right.


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

Good for you!

The owner definitely should have done something - a call, card - anything really.


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## brad (May 22, 2009)

Agreed that they should have been more appreciative, but they might have just been embarrassed or suspicious.

When I lived in a little town in Vermont, I walked up to the post office one morning and found a $100 bill sitting on the steps outside. I picked it up and looked around figuring there must be a video camera somewhere because this looked too much like the proverbial $100 bill on the sidewalk, and I figured some graduate student was performing a psychology experiment. In any event, I put it in my pocket and walked inside, intending to give it to the person behind the counter in case someone came looking for it. There was a line of people in front of me, and eventually an elderly gentleman got to the front of the line and stood at the counter. He reached in one pocket and took out a bill to pay for a money order, reached into the other pocket, and then started patting all his pockets frantically. I stepped forward and asked him, "did you lose something?" He said, "I sure did." I said, "why don't you tell me what it was you lost, because I may have found it outside." He said, "It was a picture of Ben Franklin." I gave him the bill, he thanked me, and that was that.

My favourite good-deed exchange, though, was in the Montréal Métro. A young woman wanted to buy a ticket to get into the Métro but there was nobody at the ticket counter (this was in the days before the self-service machines they have now), and she didn't have any cash (only a debit card). She asked me what she should do. One can always sneak through in cases like that, but it's risky because the police periodically post people to check to be sure you have a ticket on you. I happened to have a couple of spare tickets in my wallet, so I gave one to her. She shook my hand and said, "thank you for being a perfect stranger."


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## Nemo2 (Mar 1, 2012)

Four Pillars said:


> The owner definitely should have done something - a call, card - anything really.


Not to have, at least, made a "Thank you" call is the epitome of rudeness and ignorance.


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

praire_guy said:


> Just a bit of a rant here.


I understand how you feel, however, you did the right thing & that is all that should matter to you.

Sending best wishes & a bit of good karma your way!


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## Daniel A. (Mar 20, 2011)

My major hobby is metal detecting, I've found and returned many items over the years sometimes I just happen to be at the beach when someone approaches they lost their keys or phone in the sand.

The experience of finding what they lost has always been positive thank you's and hugs.
We often post found things rings and such rewards are often offered some we take and some we don't. 

The soccer team should make you a nice card and all members sign it.


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## praire_guy (Sep 8, 2011)

I probably wouldn't take a reward. It's the thought. 

Hey MG Thanks for the karma. 

I just found out I won a digital camera package in our local hospital lottery. 

What comes around goes around.


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## bayview (Nov 6, 2011)

P_guy, you did the right thing. Bless you! Just give the other person the benefit of the doubt. 

This taxi driver returned more than C$800k left in his cab http://www.montrealgazette.com/news...river+returns+million+cash/7575904/story.html

Ps: you thanked the wrong Gal.


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## praire_guy (Sep 8, 2011)

Oops, my bad. Sorry T gal, and thank you!


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## Spidey (May 11, 2009)

I think you may be expecting too much. A thank you and Merry Christmas would be all that I would expect. In fact I've been in that position, although the wallet didn't have as much in it as what you found. We called the owner who was very appreciative. I didn't expect a hug or a call the next day. 

All that being said, you deserve a pat on the back for doing the right thing.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

T. Gal is right about karma doing the right thing brings positive and good to peoples lives, also you don't have to carry around the horrible feeling of guilt when you do the wrong thing.

When I am in a store and the clerk gives me to much money back I always make sure they get it back. I would never get the feeling of happiness some get if they got away with extra money because the clerk didn't catch the mistake.


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

If I lost $425 and someone phoned me to tell me I could have it back.....

I would give them some of the money for sure.

Then again - If I found $425.....

I would keep it.

Obviously if someone lost it, it doesn't mean as much to them as it does to me, because I would never lose $425. :biggrin:


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## praire_guy (Sep 8, 2011)

Spidey said:


> I think you may be expecting too much. A thank you and Merry Christmas would be all that I would expect. In fact I've been in that position, although the wallet didn't have as much in it as what you found. We called the owner who was very appreciative. I didn't expect a hug or a call the next day.
> 
> All that being said, you deserve a pat on the back for doing the right thing.


I,did,not receive a thank you from the person who lost the money. I received one from the sister, after she ripped the envelope from my hands. It was not a heartfelt thank you.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

KaeJS said:


> If I lost $425 and someone phoned me to tell me I could have it back.....
> 
> I would give them some of the money for sure.
> 
> ...



I find this a little disturbing. For one thing anything is possible and you could one day lose more money then that. The other thing is if you know who lost it how could you not give it back.

I remember one day sitting at the camp fire talking to my brother in law about stolen goods. He said if he needed something and someone is selling it very cheap he would buy it even if he knew it was stolen. I was shocked because I know the horrible feeling of someone stealing my hard earned stuff and then having to earn more after tax dollars to buy it back. I told him I would never buy if I knew it was stolen because I wouldn't want to reward and contribute to more crime down the road.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

As more and more people are crowded into congested urban areas, I find there is a lot less respect and concern for fellow man out there. Everyone has their head down in their iphone, hides behind sunglasses and don't seem to care about those around them. Too crowded/busy, I guess. Anyway, sorry that woman made you feel bad. Doesn't sound like a class individual.

Someone once said, "be the change you want to see".

You did good. Leave it at that.


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## lonewolf (Jun 12, 2012)

Hi, praire_guy

Lack of confidence, feeling of weakness, fear, dependency, refusal to take responsibility for holding oneself up & instead placing the pain on to others leads to low esteem & puts one in a position of weakness when it comes to money.

The real reward is not based on the response of the one getting the money back.

Look for the reward your courage gave you the feeling of confidence, high esteem (knowing that your committed to that which is good & true & are capable & worthy of living) putting you in a strong position when it comes to money.

I would never want to be living in a sea of self doubt thinking I could not survive without cheating & taking that which was not rightfully mine.


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

Prairie - it's great what you did. You can only control your actions, and even though it would have been proper for the other person to give you a proper thank you, we never know what is going on in their lives at the time. Who knows, maybe the person had a really ill family member, was over whelmed with something else. Not to say that's an excuse, but I look at your actions alone, and it if you are happy with them, then great...

I totally believe in karma too...


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

dogcom said:


> I find this a little disturbing.


If you aren't the hunter - you're the hunted.

My morals and values have been shot. 

$425 is $425. As I said... I would never lose $425. If someone is that careless, then they don't care about money as much as I do, or else they don't need it as much as I do, which means I should probably keep it.

For all I know, they could lose it again and someone RICHER than I could take it?!

Basics 101:

_Finders, Keepers.
Losers, Weepers._


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## donald (Apr 18, 2011)

I agree with P.A-You never know whats going on/ happening in someones life(unfortunately you get the raw deal for a act of kindness)
If i was guessing(soccer,her kids team?)depending on how old the kid is,there was likely a family ''fight''the coach/players ect(what was the ramifications from the delay/intial lost'd money?......Im just thinking back(when i was a youngster)I would be crushed if my mom lost the soccer teams $(and my friends on the team,might cast me out or something)

There is a 3rd dimension to karma i believe,and that is ''seeing'' how you deal with something that should be rewarded(but its not and the opposite happens,like this case)


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## Four Pillars (Apr 5, 2009)

KaeJS said:


> If you aren't the hunter - you're the hunted.
> 
> My morals and values have been shot.
> 
> ...


And then you wonder why you are having problems with your tenants....


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## Homerhomer (Oct 18, 2010)

Really, nothing counts but the money?


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

KaeJS said:


> If you aren't the hunter - you're the hunted.
> 
> My morals and values have been shot.
> 
> ...



I always thought Basics 101 was:
Do on to others as you wish others are to do on to you.

Karma I say... it works in mysterious ways.


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## slacker (Mar 8, 2010)

A good deed is its own reward.

It's not about them being jerks, it's about you doing the right thing.


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## 44545 (Feb 14, 2012)

I'd read a while back that, when returning lost money, there was a mandatory reward. (could be a law in the UK or elsewhere though and may only apply to sums of a certain size)


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## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

I think everyone has to let their conscience be their guide. And I don't judge others. If I felt that a reward was appropriate (I don't), I would return $400. 

I have misplaced my wallet and had it returned without cash. I have still given a reward. I err on the side of generosity. But that is just me.


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## peterk (May 16, 2010)

I found a wallet in union station once. Returned it to the GO ticket window, and facebooked the guy who dropped it. Never heard back from them though if they got the wallet or not...

Just 2 days ago my dad left his jacket (with a $400 car key remote) in a highschool gym. Figured that was gone for sure but sure enough someone found it and turned it in!

If I found cash with no markings or apparent owner I would take it in a heartbeat. The problem with returning cash without a definite owner is that 4/5 people will lie and say it's theirs.


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## Nemo2 (Mar 1, 2012)

peterk said:


> I found a wallet in union station once. Returned it to the GO ticket window, and facebooked the guy who dropped it. Never heard back from them though if they got the wallet or not...


While RVing, ~ 15 years ago, at a laundromat in a little Arizona town, we found a small plastic 'billfold', containing a driver's license and a $100 U.S. bill, stuck to the drum of the washing machine........mailed both off to the license address in California and received a nice thank you card from the woman's daughter....said her mother hadn't even realized she'd lost it.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

I would do the same if I found money with no markings or apparent owner peterk. You are right many people are bad inside and will say it is theirs. To me it is the same as finding money knowing who it belongs to and keeping it.


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

This poor guy didn't get a reward, either, believe it or not!

http://news.ca.msn.com/odd/austrian-bus-driver-finds-390000-euros-1


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## underemployedactor (Oct 22, 2011)

Plugging Along said:


> I always thought Basics 101 was:
> Do on to others as you wish others are to do on to you.
> 
> Karma I say... it works in mysterious ways.


Agree with you Plugging, though it is "unto" not "on to" and this is otherwise known as the "golden rule" ie, the ethic of reciprocity and seems to appear in almost all religions, and seems to be a bedrock of civilization throughout history, KaeJS notwithstanding.


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## Seth (Aug 16, 2010)

I've found increasingly large amounts of money of the years...

The first was $120 in twenty dollar bills, it was at a local "Price Club" a week before Christmas... I was only about 13 years old and I knew it was likely someone's Christmas Gift budget. Brought it to the manager and asked that they announce a sum of money being found over the P.A... they didn't have that capability, so I gave them my contact info and told them to have person call me if they came forward... I never heard back, and pocketed the money in due time. 

The second was a few years later, a large envelope full of cash and receipts, a nightly deposit containing a few thousand dollars. I found this on a sidewalk walking home from school. I returned it to the dentist office just a few doors down from where I found it and received a $20 bill and a handshake in return... felt great!

The third and most exciting was $150,000 in cash.

I was working for an armoured car company at the time, and pretty fresh on the job. My partner and I had just left from a major distribution centre pick up with a few million dollars on board... these pick ups include dozens of bags of money destined for ABM top ups... 

We literally would roll up giant carts on wheels and the distribution staff would double count these sacks and toss them into our carts until they were full... this was rolled into the truck and away we'd go.

Turns out, some how a bag containing $150,000 which was meant for another armoured company's run landed on our truck. They had called our branch freaking out, which tracking it down figured it must be on board with us, a couple other teams or lost forever...

We had two options, return the money

or each stuff $75,000 down our pants, make a blood oath to deny everything and each get a nice head start on our retirement funds.

We choose the former.

I left that thankless job after about a year, and thanks to an accounting error on their part, ended up owing a bunch of money on my taxes.

So Karma, if you're out there... I could really use a break


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## andrewf (Mar 1, 2010)

Golden rule is a good heuristic in a repeated game, where acting badly in one instance can have large negative consequences in the future than the short term gain from being 'bad'. It works better in smaller groups where everyone knows each other (an extended family or a village), but it works surprisingly well when scaled up to societies of millions of people.

Kae's attitude is what you call a 'free rider' on the golden rule strategy. He gets the benefit of a society that mostly follows the golden rule, while picking up the benefit of breaking it on occasion.


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

No. Such. Thing. As. Karma.


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

Your. Humble. Opinion.


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

andrewf said:


> Kae's attitude is what you call a 'free rider' on the golden rule strategy. He gets the benefit of a society that mostly follows the golden rule, while picking up the benefit of breaking it on occasion.


Why would I be one of the ones that follow the golden rule, when someone else will just be a free rider?

If you don't want someone to take your money - you shouldn't lose it. Just the same as how you wouldn't leave your keys in the ignition and door unlocked overnight. You should take care of your property.


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## Beaver101 (Nov 14, 2011)

KaeJS said:


> Why would I be one of the ones that follow the golden rule, when someone else will just be a free rider? ....


 ... morally? You wouldn't want to not return the property/money if you know it belongs to a little old lady or man or some poor soul who is financially worst off than you. Would you?


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

I guess it depends on the circumstances.

If it was your regular Joe, then no. If it's an 80 year old lady, well, that might be a different story.


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## mind_business (Sep 24, 2011)

the-royal-mail said:


> As more and more people are crowded into congested urban areas, I find there is a lot less respect and concern for fellow man out there. Everyone has their head down in their iphone, hides behind sunglasses and don't seem to care about those around them. Too crowded/busy, I guess. Anyway, sorry that woman made you feel bad. Doesn't sound like a class individual.
> 
> Someone once said, "be the change you want to see".
> 
> You did good. Leave it at that.


I completely agree TRM. I call it a lack of ... 'sense of community'. People no longer need to rely on their neighbours, or community, to the degree they used to. This has created a sense of indifference to the problems of others around them. I'm not a religious person, however I can appreciate the sense of community that a Church can bring to their members.


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## Karen (Jul 24, 2010)

KaeJS, do you not know the good feeling that comes from doing the right thing, even if nobody knows it but you? If not, I feel sorry for you. Some of the best feelings I've ever had about myself have happened when I ''did the right thing" even though I could probably have gotten away without doing so.

And I must admit to a nasty little feeling that I almost hope you lose something valuable one of these days, just so you know that bad things can happen to any of us, no matter how careful we try to be.


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

Karen said:


> KaeJS, I must admit to a nasty little feeling that I almost hope you lose something valuable one of these days


Well, that's not very nice. 

But I always do the right thing - look out for myself.

The whole world is full of people who want/need handouts. They rely on the rest of the world to be nice so they don't need to be accountable for anything (ie, making sure they don't lose their money).

If you can't take care of yourself, why should anyone else take care of you?

Darwin>Survival of the Fittest>Always a Bigger Fish

yadda yadda...

And I have lost something valuable before. That's why I am careful not to lose it in the future.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

As you know KaeJS I am the one who trusts no one and expect the worst from everyone. The difference between me and you is I know how it feels to lose something and get burned and I will not be party to do that to someone else. I should say however I never lost very much but to me it is 10 fold to most people who just let it go. 

Karen I hope most of the world is like you and cares because we need a world of people like you.


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## mind_business (Sep 24, 2011)

KaeJS said:


> Well, that's not very nice.
> 
> But I always do the right thing - look out for myself.
> 
> ...


Well, that's one way of getting through life.


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## HaroldCrump (Jun 10, 2009)

KaeJS said:


> If you can't take care of yourself, why should anyone else take care of you?
> Darwin>Survival of the Fittest>Always a Bigger Fish
> yadda yadda...


But Kae, deliberately not returning someone's lost property does not improve your survival skills, or make you any smarter.
It is just simply...being mean.
You can't apply Darwin's law like this.

Pursuing self-interest as a human trait (in the classical Libertarian sense) is one thing, but not returning a lost wallet or watch or whatever does not improve your survival skills in any way.

If you want to hone your survival skills, you can do other things - learn to forage, learn to train animals, learn a new language, etc.
But return that wallet.


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## Berubeland (Sep 6, 2009)

We are all individuals and also part of the human colony. The Darwinian reason to be kind and altruistic to others is so that they will in turn be kind and altruistic to you. It's like herd immunity, we all get vaccinated to protect the weaker members and this keeps us all safe. 

We all come into this world bare and needing our social network, for years we poop on ourselves and need 24 hour care. The we get sick and eventually fail and die. 

The reason we should return other people's belongings to them is because it is not ours and it belong to them. I personally don't need any money or reward or even a thank you for doing what makes this world a better place for me and my offspring. I did it for me. I don't care if other people are watching. I have to live with myself. 

We no longer live in a society where it's "survival of the fittest" 99% of the people in North America don't grow our own food or kill our own meat. When was the last time you had to win a physical contest of any kind to take the girl home? The entire premise is ridiculous starting with the idea that some little pieces of paper add to your survival.

The reason we are the most sucsessful animals on the planet bar none is because of our social nature and civilization. Look our your window right now and count the "stuff" you can see that makes you safer because someone else built it for you without knowing you. When you turn on your tap, we all worked together to make sure that the water is potable and when you go to the bathroom, it's not magic that makes the poo go bye bye to a place that doesn't intersect your water. When you go to the grocery to get your milk there's probably 20-50 people who each worked a little bit to make it happen and this is every single item you touch. 

And that's why you return crap you found because of the burden of gratitude you owe the thousands of nameless faceless people who have supported you your entire life and will continue to do so until you die. Even then if you die penniless, someone will make sure you get cremated and don't contaminate ground water and stink up the place. :love-struck:


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## ddkay (Nov 20, 2010)

that was fantastic, since when does a little kindness hurt?! thank you Berubeland! :biggrin-new:


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## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

And if we remember that great Tronno garbage strike, we learn to appreciate everyone's contribution to our well-being.

But conscience is a matter of personal choice, and anything we say will not change that. As a result. I will not judge KaeJS based on my personal moral choices. A bag of cash is one thing. What about a winning lottery ticket?


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

kcowan said:


> What about a winning lottery ticket?


I think a lot of people would have a harder time returning something like this.

People would say they would return it and this and that, but most people are not true to themselves. It's the same reason fat people trying to lose weight stay fat. They feel like they have "worked hard" or that they "deserve" a cheat day, when, in reality, they probably haven't done what they were supposed to in the first place. It's like the brains false way of making yourself feel good.

You hold a $20million dollar winning lotto ticket in your hand, and tell me you wouldn't keep it...

You could always share with the person who actually bought it (if you knew who's it was) for all those people with morals and whatnot...

And thank you, kcowan, for the non-judgement.


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

Berubeland said:


> And that's why you return crap you found because of the burden of gratitude you owe the thousands of nameless faceless people who have supported you your entire life and will continue to do so until you die. Even then if you die penniless, someone will make sure you get cremated and don't contaminate ground water and stink up the place. :love-struck:


Well said "B". I'm not relishing the idea of getting so old that I can't take care of myself anymore. I have pride in myself and what I do, and even if I don't have much money due to my life's circumstances, I am still happy living and looking forward to each day.

I guess I'll "cross that bridge" when I can no longer look after my physical needs by myself, but I've already prearranged my disposal, so that at least I am not a burden to my kids or family when the time come. 

BTW, I feel the same way you do about returning anything that does not belong to me, just as a human
courtesy, without any expectation of a reward. 

My philosophy now is: "Live each day as if it's your last" and "you come into this world with nothing and you leave with nothing".
If you can help someone out, be kind to others and leave this world either a better place or at least the same way you found it, with malice or harm towards none, then I believe that your life is fulfilled as it should be when you go..no regrets as they say.


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## Mall Guy (Sep 14, 2011)

All I can say is thank goodness that "It's A Wonderful Life" is back on the airwaves for the Holiday Season! Teach us all a little about life, humanity, greed and self-worth . . . "I think another angel just got his winds !'


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## Koala (Jan 27, 2012)

I've found my fair share of wallets over the years, some with cash and some without. I always worry that in cases where they don't someone else took it and the owner would think it was me! Even then, the only attitude I've gotten when returning them was gratefulness.

PG, if you ever do lose anything of value I hope you receive the same thoughtfulness in return!


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