# frugality versus moral compass question



## daddybigbucks (Jan 30, 2011)

OK, I came across this situation that I thought I was right, but as I did more research, I think I am in the minority.

Scenario:

Your in a buffet restaurant with your two kids (9 yr old and 12 yr old). You look at the menu and it says Adults - $16.95, Kids (3-11 yr olds) - $8.95.

Waitress comes over and asks the ages of your children, what do you say?


----------



## GreenAvenue (Dec 28, 2011)

"You do doggy bags?"


----------



## daddybigbucks (Jan 30, 2011)

"No sir, no doggy in wonton soup. All fresh"


----------



## Koogie (Dec 15, 2014)

Ask if they have a seniors rate and an ID policy ?


----------



## Ag Driver (Dec 13, 2012)

Deleted


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

I say the ages they actually are and tell my oldest to all she wants and get a double dessert or the most expensive thing there. 

I would be lying though if I didn't say that there have been a couple of occasional where I have not been forth right, and I feel morally at odds with myself. When we went to Hawaii, my oldest turn 7 by a few months the luau was $40 for 6 and under and $105 for 7 and up. I bought the 6 and under. The worst was we were concerned if they ask my daughter how old she was she would have said seven, so we told her that if they ask, just say 6. I hated telling her lie, and discussed and explained why. My little smarty pants did reply she was alright with it because it was close enough, and she wouldn't eat much anyways. 

I still think about that, and figure it's not worth the savings to teach my kids lie


----------



## daddybigbucks (Jan 30, 2011)

Thats the way i feel as well plugging along.
To ask my kids to lie to save 8 bucks will do so much more than 8 bucks damage down the road.

The restaurants should clue in though and charge teenager/senior rate and maybe honest people will go out more.

For the record, i always tell the kids to state their true age.


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

^. Ik have been to a few places that charge $x by age, and am always good with that. 

We have taught our kids to be truthful. The other day we went to a restaurant, and the kid menu was under 11, my oldest who is 11 and quite literal would not order off of it cause she wasn't under 11. The waitress was fine with it, but she still wouldn't. Instead, we order the full size adult meal and she ate half and we had to throw out the rest.


----------



## lonewolf :) (Sep 13, 2016)

My rule for that which is moral is that which promotes the most long term happiness. From experience I have found truth my best friend. So I will go with tell the truth


----------



## ian (Jun 18, 2016)

You say my kids are 13 but when they go to the buffet they are only 12...or

My kids are 13 but they are small for their age and only eat as much as a 12 year old...promise.

Really...step up to the plate and pay the correct fare. This is the where you make life lessons for your children. Why try to beat the restaurant out of a few bucks by being dishonest? This has nothing to do with frugality and everything to do with honestly.


----------



## JWC (Nov 6, 2014)

daddybigbucks said:


> OK, I came across this situation that I thought I was right, but as I did more research, I think I am in the minority.
> 
> Scenario:
> 
> ...


I'd say there actual ages. I wouldn't look down apon someone that doesn't but for me the difference in cost is worth less than teaching my kids one of the most important lessons in life, honesty will take you further than any lie.


----------



## gibor365 (Apr 1, 2011)

and in the opposite situation.....assuming specific game or movie is rated 13+, you kid is 11 or 12, would you allow him/her to watch movie or play the game?!

I definitely would


----------



## daddybigbucks (Jan 30, 2011)

:smilet-digitalpoint:upset:


----------



## fatcat (Nov 11, 2009)

daddybigbucks said:


> OK, I came across this situation that I thought I was right, but as I did more research, I think I am in the minority.
> 
> Scenario:
> 
> ...


would you steal the waitresses tip from the table next to you ? ... i doubt it ... no difference ... the ages seem about right ... 12 year old boys can down a freaking ocean of food


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

gibor365 said:


> and in the opposite situation.....assuming specific game or movie is rated 13+, you kid is 11 or 12, would you allow him/her to watch movie or play the game?!
> 
> I definitely would


But movie or game ratings have nothing to do with frugality nor motility, they are more parenting guides. I am pretty strict with what my kids watch. I look at the rating as a guide, and then I actually read the reviews on common sense media. There are some things that bother my kids, so I filter those out regardless of the ratings. There are others, where I have no problems watching with them. Same argument with toys. My kids both pretty advanced, so by three and four years old reading novels meant for much higher. 

What my kids watch, read, play in terms of ratings does not impact anyone other than themselves. OPS question is would you lie about your kids age to save money.


----------



## ian (Jun 18, 2016)

Absolutely. This is about honesty and integrity. You have a choice. Teach you children to cut corners, scam the system, that is is ok to lie, tacitly or otherwise, to save money OR teach them to be honest, to have character and integrity. Who wants to teach their children to be greedy, grasping people?

Look around. Is it no wonder we have so many dubious politicians of all stripes. It starts here, at home.


----------



## MrMatt (Dec 21, 2011)

9 and 12, unless you want to teach your kids that lying is just fine as long as it saves $7.

I'm sure being honest has saved me far more than $7.


----------



## Rusty O'Toole (Feb 1, 2012)

Wait till they are 15 and eating hearty, take them back and get your money's worth.


----------



## Zipper (Nov 18, 2015)

Reminds me of years ago when the "fat family" came into the Chinese Buffet in St. Thomas, just south of London.

Dad was at least 350lbs. and mom was probably the same or a bit more.

They were at the "flipper stage" where their arms just dangled from their shoulders.

The 3 kids were mini copies of the parents.

We had been seated for awhile and watched them enter and scramble for the buffet.

They all piled plate after plate and decimated the dessert wagon.

It was the Tuesday special, and I'm sure it was their regular night for Chinese.


----------



## Just a Guy (Mar 27, 2012)

As a food snob, with kids who are also food snobs, I probably wouldn't go to a buffet like that in the first place as we wouldn't eat much of the "food" in the first place.


----------



## sags (May 15, 2010)

Zipper said:


> Reminds me of years ago when the "fat family" came into the Chinese Buffet in St. Thomas, just south of London.
> 
> Dad was at least 350lbs. and mom was probably the same or a bit more.
> 
> ...


Chinese food is digested quickly, so if you wait long enough you can just keep eating :redface-new:


----------



## andrewf (Mar 1, 2010)

Plugging Along said:


> ^. Ik have been to a few places that charge $x by age, and am always good with that.
> 
> We have taught our kids to be truthful. The other day we went to a restaurant, and the kid menu was under 11, my oldest who is 11 and quite literal would not order off of it cause she wasn't under 11. The waitress was fine with it, but she still wouldn't. Instead, we order the full size adult meal and she ate half and we had to throw out the rest.


I don't think restaurants really mind if children over age order off the kids menu. I think their margins are still intact, given the smaller portions and inexpensive/easily prepared food.


----------



## olivaw (Nov 21, 2010)

Question: would anyone who would lie to save a measley 7 bucks admit to it online?


----------



## digitalatlas (Jun 6, 2015)

I think everyone's established that a few bucks is probably not worth it. But a similar dilemma I've face in the past, and perhaps some of you as well, is with hotel bookings, in my case mostly overseas.

So I have a family 3, including 1 young child 3 years old. When you look for hotels on expedia, it asks for the number of occupants and the age of children, if any. If you select 3 occupants, even if that includes a 3-year old child, they require you to book a room that accommodates 4 people, and usually that includes 2 queen sized beds. The same room choice would be required even if you requested accommodations for 4 adults.

The consequence of this is 1) the room is much more expensive, and 2) it significantly reduces the number of available room choices, because many other rooms are designed to accommodate 2 people (usually on 1 king bed).

This has only recently become an issue for me because apparently a 2 year old doesn't really change anything, but options get more limited when the kid turns 3. Now, I assume (correctly or incorrectly) that there is some reasoning behind this age cut off (preferably more than just some arbitrary cutoff set by the industry to squeeze profits at the expense of unsuspecting patrons), such as fire codes, max capacities, or safety reasons.

With our child for now, she actually sleeps with us when we're at a hotel. We in fact prefer a single king bed to 2 queens, because one of those queens will literally be untouched. We've actually done a few trips in the last couple of years, and I've just reported the number of occupants correctly because the last thing I need is to be hassled on vacation.

But there was one trip earlier this year where we needed to make some last minute changes, and so availability was basically non-existent because we made our original booking 2 months in advance. Anyway, instead of looking for rooms for 3 people, I started looking for rooms for 2 people, which had the 1 king bed that we prefer. And of course, now way more hotels had rooms available, and as a bonus, because we were staying for a couple of weeks, that amounted to several hundreds of dollars in savings.

In the end, I went ahead and booked the room intended for 2 people, we had a great time, there were no issues. Is that morally questionable, perhaps, but I guess in this particular case, I justified it to myself. Obviously, my kid is quite young at this point, I don't expect to carry on with it as my kid gets older.

I've looked into this issue before, rooms for 2 people which are more available and cheaper especially for longer stays, but never booked it that way except this time when all these factors contributed to the decision I made. But have any of you run into this dilemma before? Surely I'm not the only one to have noticed this?


----------

