# Do you openly discuss your salary and net worth?



## Ben

Some people are open about their financial situation, some are not. 

Some will tell you how much they make, and what their net worth is, but most will keep this info tight to their chest and hidden from prying eyes.

Some post such details online in blogs and forums in somewhat voyeuristic fashion, but usually the author's identity remains obscure or unknown.

For those with low salaries and little assets, perhaps it's a source of embarrassment to admit you have less than the Jones' across the street. 
For those with higher salaries and decent assets, who wants to be a source of envy for family, friends, neighbours, and workmates?

Do you talk about your salary and net worth? 
If yes, to whom, and why? 
If no, why not?


----------



## michika

Yes, I probably would, however it depends on the setting. However I do not because it is considered to be very gauche in my family, and an inappropriate topic at any time. I think it skewed my impression of money, and its associated mysteries growing up. The only people I would not openly discuss it with are people on my partner's side of the family as they use information such as that negatively. Somehow our monthly mortgage amount got out to them and now we never hear the end of it.

I selectively talk about it with friends however many of us are in very different places. I have a friend who lives off her parents, one who is doing quite well by marriage/engagement, and one who is getting by on her own. Overall though I think there is too little talk going on about it in general. I understand the embarassment angle, as I feel it. I made very little last year and I am embarassed to talk about that as many people seem to link self-worth with net-worth, or income. t

I have a small salary and very little in assets, and I'm not embarassed about it, I just find that sometimes there is resistance in talking about it. Sometimes the resistance is saying "you should be ashamed" and sometimes its that condesending "good for you" attitude. My partner however is in a considerably higher place then I am salary-wise. He doesn't like to talk about it because he doesn't understand it, and because it frequently leeds to inter personal/familial conflict.

All-in-all it depends on the attitude people have towards money, and if its a frank and honest conversation then I have no problems with it. However, when it appears that value judgements are being made in relation to the information then I draw the line and will only discuss such things in terms of generailities and not specifics.


----------



## FrugalTrader

Ben said:


> Some people are open about their financial situation, some are not.
> 
> Some will tell you how much they make, and what their net worth is, but most will keep this info tight to their chest and hidden from prying eyes.
> 
> Some post such details online in blogs and forums in somewhat voyeuristic fashion, but usually the author's identity remains obscure or unknown.
> 
> For those with low salaries and little assets, perhaps it's a source of embarrassment to admit you have less than the Jones' across the street.
> For those with higher salaries and decent assets, who wants to be a source of envy for family, friends, neighbours, and workmates?
> 
> Do you talk about your salary and net worth?
> If yes, to whom, and why?
> If no, why not?


Money can be a very emotional/sensitive topic, which is why most people just don't talk about it. I'm very open with my finances on MDJ, but like you mentioned, i'm anonymous. In person, i'm more reserved when talking about money as I know most people aren't comfortable with the topic.


----------



## CanadianCapitalist

Ben said:


> Do you talk about your salary and net worth?
> If yes, to whom, and why?
> If no, why not?


First, I'm not exactly anonymous, so I don't reveal what we make and what we have in dollars and cents. Besides, I always wonder if individual net worth and income / expenses have much meaning to most discussions we have. If I talk about how I lower investment expenses or save money, readers might employ it profitably; net worth and income, not so much.


----------



## ethos1

Ben said:


> Some people are open about their financial situation, some are not.
> 
> 
> Do you talk about your salary and net worth?
> If yes, to whom, and why?
> If no, why not?


Besides yourself, IMO, there are only two lots of folks that should or do know about an individuals financial situation (deep & dirty)

The CRA & the banker when you're in need of a loan

Outside of that the truth lies within and maybe some will not dilvulge this kind of information to their life partner

In my personal situation - its the CRA, Bank & spouse who are the only three that know the truth

In cyberspace you can fabricate anything in voyeuristic fashion or give the true picture - who is to know

I do not think folks on this forum would snicker or make fun or make weird remarks or statements of the nature what michika eluded to about the level of assets, income or net worth someone has

Money is a personal thing - like love

Everyone had to start somewhere - usually at the bottom, well at least I did 41 years ago.

Sharing of ideas as well as dialogue is a good thing, everyoone can learn something, that I believe is why most post here


----------



## lazy cdn

michika said:


> Yes, I probably would, however it depends on the setting. However I do not because it is considered to be very gauche in my family, and an inappropriate topic at any time. I think it skewed my impression of money, and its associated mysteries growing up. The only people I would not openly discuss it with are people on my partner's side of the family as they use information such as that negatively. Somehow our monthly mortgage amount got out to them and now we never hear the end of it.
> 
> I selectively talk about it with friends however many of us are in very different places. I have a friend who lives off her parents, one who is doing quite well by marriage/engagement, and one who is getting by on her own. Overall though I think there is too little talk going on about it in general. I understand the embarassment angle, as I feel it. I made very little last year and I am embarassed to talk about that as many people seem to link self-worth with net-worth, or income. t
> 
> I have a small salary and very little in assets, and I'm not embarassed about it, I just find that sometimes there is resistance in talking about it. Sometimes the resistance is saying "you should be ashamed" and sometimes its that condesending "good for you" attitude. My partner however is in a considerably higher place then I am salary-wise. He doesn't like to talk about it because he doesn't understand it, and because it frequently leeds to inter personal/familial conflict.
> 
> All-in-all it depends on the attitude people have towards money, and if its a frank and honest conversation then I have no problems with it. However, when it appears that value judgements are being made in relation to the information then I draw the line and will only discuss such things in terms of generailities and not specifics.


i am okay with those that talk about thier net worth ....... as long as they buy the beer.


----------



## michika

I find this environment to be very kind, honest and forthcoming, at least in the short while I've been here! There don't seem to be any value-judgements being passed here, and I think thats one of the best things going for this board.

I do though tend to keep certain things to myself, the value of my home, the true number of my debt, etc. Sometimes though I don't get as much out of hearing/seeing someone else's numbers as I do hearing the reasoning behind them, the explanation for a particular decision over another, etc. I think there is more value in the story behind the numbers then the actual numbers themselves.

Its more beneficial for me to understand how you calculate net worth, as in the actual formula then it is to see what someone's particular numbers are. Its like having a physical example to work with. Reminds me of being in math class in highschool...


----------



## mfd

I'm very open with my finances. I haven't mentioned my salary on my blog because I'm in some what of a position of authority and some people at work know about the blog. As side from that I discuss this openly with friends and family which is something I've always done....even when I made minimum wage. I like to compare not for bragging rights but in hopes that I can spur on some conversation and get ideas to better manage my finances.


----------



## ethos1

michika said:


> I find this environment to be very kind, honest and forthcoming, at least in the short while I've been here! There don't seem to be any value-judgements being passed here, and I think thats one of the best things going for this board.
> 
> Its more beneficial for me to understand how you calculate net worth, as in the actual formula then it is to see what someone's particular numbers are. Its like having a physical example to work with. Reminds me of being in math class in highschool...


try this calcualtor to see if it helps you

http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/en/co/buho/hostst/wosh_002.cfm?renderforprint=1

http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/networth/networth.html


----------



## Ben

mfd said:


> I'm very open with my finances. I haven't mentioned my salary on my blog because I'm in some what of a position of authority and some people at work know about the blog. As side from that I discuss this openly with friends and family which is something I've always done....even when I made minimum wage. I like to compare not for bragging rights but in hopes that I can spur on some conversation and get ideas to better manage my finances.


Agree that net worth is much less politically sensitive than salary, especially when your identity is known by others at work. Still, I can't see myself sharing net worth information openly. I also like to spur on conversation with others where I can. However, I don't think that revelation of net worth is a necessary condition to spur on that conversation, for me anyway.


----------



## Sampson

I find it really depends. It is such a charged issue and every person has a different opinion.

Personally, I share some things with some and not with others - including salary, net worth etc.

You never know whether some one with be envious, jealous, or look down on you when you divulge the info.


----------



## Maltese

My family doesn't have a clue what I earn - just that my house is paid off. My salary isn't high compared to many on this board but I do make double what my sister does. I feel bad for her so have refrained from rubbing it in that she is poorly paid at a US university even though she has a degree and is an excellent worker.

With my friends though money is often a topic because a lot of us are thinking about retirement but don't have enough money yet to do so. Many of us work together and know each others' job classifications so know the salaries. Net worth though is not discussed in terms of actual dollars but we know whose houses and cars are paid for and whose aren't and who contributes to RSPs/Savings and who doesn't.


----------



## blackjacques

*Be Careful Who You Share Your Personal Info With*

I made the mistake of sharing too much information with my brother-in-law, who was supposedly a financial planner. He used that intimate knowledge of my finances to con me out of $30,000. I have been suing him for the past 5 years. While I have recouped $18,000, I spent most of it on legal fees!

Rob


----------



## mfd

blackjacques said:


> I made the mistake of sharing too much information with my brother-in-law, who was supposedly a financial planner. He used that intimate knowledge of my finances to con me out of $30,000. I have been suing him for the past 5 years. While I have recouped $18,000, I spent most of it on legal fees!
> 
> Rob



I think a baseball bat is the best way to resolve problems like that.


----------



## CanadianCapitalist

mfd said:


> I think a baseball bat is the best way to resolve problems like that.


MFD, I think you made that comment in jest. I don't think law enforcement takes a benign view of vigilante justice.


----------



## mfd

CanadianCapitalist said:


> MFD, I think you made that comment in jest. I don't think law enforcement takes a benign view of vigilante justice.


probably but part of the issue for me is that its a family member. When dealing with a stranger you have some expectation that something like that could happen. With family you let down your guard which adds some insult to injury.


----------



## Kathryn

FrugalTrader said:


> Money can be a very emotional/sensitive topic, which is why most people just don't talk about it. I'm very open with my finances on MDJ, but like you mentioned, i'm anonymous. In person, i'm more reserved when talking about money as I know most people aren't comfortable with the topic.


Same here. I don't talk about it with people I know in real life.


----------



## stardancer

I live in a small town where gossip can travel faster than the speed of light. So I am very careful in what information I reveal. As I work in the tax business seasonally, I also see what others live on. So I am extremely careful about confidentiality.

I don't talk specific numbers to family/friends but am always willing to share ideas or give general information if asked. I was very surprised when my brother this year asked me to check out their tax returns as they had to pay over $5000. I did and gave my opinion and some suggestions. In the meantime, I haven't even talked to my husband about the figures I saw. Basically, their finances are not my business, unless they ask for help, and then, they are my business only to the extent of the request.


----------



## markievicz

I really can't imagine too many (non moneygeek blogging) situations where either would come up. In my experience most people aren't very interested in one's net worth - a real boring conversation stopper - and only interested in salaries in the mildly nosy sense. Except at work of course, where the merest hint of salary info charges the air bigtime.


----------



## Mintycake

Not really. I had a co-worker once outright ask me what my bonus was. I told her it was none of her business. 

I discuss some of it with my father but that is also because he works on my taxes with me so he knows what I am making. I also discussed the purchase of my first house with him. He wouldn't talk about it with anyone though.

I don't dare let people know my net worth outside of that. It's nobody's business and I think if people knew it would breed resentment - never mind that I got there by working my tail off and being frugal.


----------



## canabiz

blackjacques said:


> I made the mistake of sharing too much information with my brother-in-law, who was supposedly a financial planner. He used that intimate knowledge of my finances to con me out of $30,000. I have been suing him for the past 5 years. While I have recouped $18,000, I spent most of it on legal fees!
> 
> Rob


Wondering what is your sister's take in this situation ? One thing that I try to keep separate is family/friends and money. We can lose both in a heartbeat once things start to go south. 

I do try to keep everything transparent to my spouse but other than that, I don't really talk about it.


----------



## The_Number

I don't disclose my personal financial data (esp. salary) with people I know, but it's pubic information (not by choice but by law), so anyone can look it up.

Btw, there is an ABC report on this topic. You might find it interesting.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=289004&cl=13245575&src=finance&ch=289021


----------



## Rickson9

Ben said:


> Do you talk about your salary and net worth?
> If yes, to whom, and why?
> If no, why not?


My wife and I earn a significant amount of money and are millionaires. We discuss income and net worth with other investor couples who have a similar or higher net worth than us. We do not discuss it with people who are not investors or have a lower net worth.

We do this because we learn a lot more from people who can understand our financial situation. Often times they are very similar to us and have the same capital allocation issues but different solutions. We are constantly learning from one another. It helps both groups become wealthy much faster. 

In one example, after an hour-long discussion with a couple who was wealthier than us, we identified a way from them to become even more wealthy! Arriving at a solution together was very rewarding (and fun)!

The majority of financial discussions are with people who are (far) wealthier than us.

We do not discuss income or net worth with individuals who are not investors or who are not as well off. Selfishly these individuals have very little or rudimentary knowledge that would not be very useful or interesting. A person who only earns a salary is pretty boring - financially speaking.

A more important reason for us is that speaking about money to somebody who isn't doing as well is insensitive.


----------



## Alexandra

The short answer is that it depends... I don't like discussing my finances with friends I know make and have considerably less...unless they are asking for some help and advice. I just find it breeds jealousy and discomfort. We have discussed finances with friends who are like-minded in terms of being aggresive savers and investors, and in similar financial situations to ours and we find these conversations quite rewarding.


----------



## steve41

> A more important reason for us is that speaking about money to somebody who isn't doing as well is insensitive.


So, I wonder why those millionaire acquaintances who are wealthier, share their net worth with you? Curious.


----------



## Rickson9

steve41 said:


> So, I wonder why those millionaire acquaintances who are wealthier, share their net worth with you? Curious.


When people talk about investments I think both parties can get a good sense of the sophistication of the other. 

When you meet somebody who has no financial planner, invests in 10-unit multiplexes; or has a $1M portfolio of hand-picked stocks; or runs a business that grosses $1M a year etc. you start having more interesting conversations that include net worth discussions.

Conversely conversations of conventional financial topics such as student loans, financial planners, broad macro economic non-issues, mutual funds, flow-through shares, labour-sponsored funds, etc. don't lead to net worth.

Large amounts of inherited money is also uninteresting.


----------



## mfd

steve41 said:


> So, I wonder why those millionaire acquaintances who are wealthier, share their net worth with you? Curious.


I think at the end of the day whether you have a 1 million or 10 million you might still have similar issues...if you are debt free what do you do with your money. 

It doesn't really serve any purpose for Rickson to talk to someone who still has student loan and has only started paying down a mortgage.


----------



## Spidey

I like discussing general financial concepts (although most people don't) but I find that it is usually a no-win situation to discuss salary or net worth. I know one fellow at work who seem gets unbelievably jealous when he even hears that someone is purchasing something expensive, let alone knowing their net-worth. On the other hand, although I have a very healthy net worth, I earn a fairly mediocre salary and admittedly can't help wondering about my career choice when I hear what other people are making -- especially people that don't seem overly talented.


----------



## Rickson9

Spidey said:


> I earn a fairly mediocre salary and admittedly can't help wondering about my career choice when I hear what other people are making -- especially people that don't seem overly talented.


If being wealthy required talent, my wife and I would be out of luck!


----------



## The_Number

Spidey said:


> On the other hand, although I have a very healthy net worth, I earn a fairly mediocre salary and admittedly can't help wondering about my career choice when I hear what other people are making -- especially people that don't seem overly talented.


I don't discount talent entirely, but a lot of it has to do with choices people have made at some points in their lives (often with little reflection). Sometimes during the graduate school, I realized that my career path can put me in a solid middle class but nothing above that. I thought about it, but I'm OK with that (My friends at grad school used to joke about that we were a group of people who voluntarily gave up an opportunity to become filthy rich.) Of course by the time I really thought about my life-long earning, I had already invested quite a bit in my profession, and my initial decision to get into my profession took place early in my undergrad (with no knowledge of money implications). Now I think back, there were a lot of misconceptions about earning potential of each profession (appearance is not always accurate) at least among my friends, and I wonder how many people start with a really informed career choice (rather than retrospective justification).

There is an interesting book called "Learning to Labour" by Paul Willis. It looks at the British working class high school boy culture, and how this culture compels these boys to make the decision (= dropping out of high school) that will ensure that they will remain working class. He explains how this "worst decision" (a phrase used by one of the working class men) is presented to the boys as "freedom" and "liberation." For these boys, it's not their lack of talent but a decision they made in high school that cripple their life-long earning potentials.


----------



## kayo

I don't disclose the actual figure, but I have no problem talking with family and friends over what type of payments I need to make day in day out. My family is quite open to each other about what we need to pay and how much each of us are making, but we don't actually talk about our net worth. As for friends, it really depends on the individual that I am talking with.


----------



## ethos1

Rickson9 said:


> My wife and I earn a significant amount of money and are millionaires. We discuss income and net worth with other investor couples who have a similar or higher net worth than us. We do not discuss it with people who are not investors or have a lower net worth.
> 
> In one example, after an hour-long discussion with a couple who was wealthier than us, we identified a way from them to become even more wealthy! Arriving at a solution together was very rewarding (and fun)!


I am curious to know what you have set the bar at - you know that magic net worth number, so that you can be at the top of the millionaire club group circle of acquaintances that you talk to about wealth & finances, that way when you reach the top then everyone below you will presumably not be worth talking to

Rickson are you in MLM, investing club's, real estate or finance


----------



## Retireat50

People would be suprised to find out those who appear to not be outwardly weathly are perhaps some of the most wealthly out there. I know of a view and they don't display there wealth that much.


----------



## Rickson9

ethos1 said:


> I am curious to know what you have set the bar at - you know that magic net worth number, so that you can be at the top of the millionaire club group circle of acquaintances that you talk to about wealth & finances, that way when you reach the top then everyone below you will presumably not be worth talking to.


It is more accurate to say that it is not interesting to discuss financial topics with individuals who only understand conventional financial topics; or what they see in the media. We discuss other things.



ethos1 said:


> Rickson are you in MLM, investing club's, real estate or finance


None of the above.


----------



## Rickson9

Retireat50 said:


> People would be suprised to find out those who appear to not be outwardly weathly are perhaps some of the most wealthly out there. I know of a view and they don't display there wealth that much.


Strongly agree.


----------



## ethos1

Rickson9 said:


> It is more accurate to say that it is not interesting to discuss financial topics with individuals who only understand conventional financial topics; or what they see in the media. We discuss other things.


"other things" very interesting 

I shall quit guessing and trust that you will share with us what it is that you discuss with like minded wealthy people - those of course that are more wealthy than yourself 

Maybe, just maybe some of those like minded wealthy folks you mingle with do in fact post on here

Take me for example, I consider myself to be one of those very unconventional people (I maybe wrong of course) - but also very conventional, sort of a mix depending on who is discussing what


----------



## Rickson9

I'm not sure why you care what these individuals like to discuss, but if you are actually interested, some examples may include...a real estate investor who like to talk about the income statement associated with a specific property, covenants in the mortgage document and his discussions with the city on changing the zoning of the bottom floor of his building so that he can increase his rental income...a business owner who likes to talk about the challenges of setting up his new marketing office which is a designated heritage building and zoned half-commercial and half-industrial...a hedge fund owner who talks about discounts on airline bonds and P/B, P/E and quick ratio of bargain stocks...an investor who owns a few dozen pharmacies (and who isn't a pharmacist himself) on how he came to own pharmacies and how he selects locations near meth clinics to acquire because he knows that he can quickly boost revenues because nobody wants to deal with meth patients...the owner of a bodyshop (and strip malls) who set up business 4 decades ago and how he established relationships with all the major insurance companies, the seasonal nature of his business (he loves rain and the first snowfall) and the ethics of using paid tows to bring in work, etc.

I soak it all in. They share their stories and lessons without asking for anything in return. I am very priviledged and blessed to have these people share their stories with me.

PS: I apologize for the run-on sentence.


----------



## ethos1

Rickson9 said:


> I'm not sure why you care what these individuals like to discuss, but if you are actually interested, some examples may include...
> 
> I soak it all in. They share their stories and lessons without asking for anything in return. I am very priviledged and blessed to have these people share their stories with me.
> 
> PS: I apologize for the run-on sentence.



nothing new or interesting or even unconventional in what you posted about what you say those so called wealthy folks discuss that you mingle with 

Thanks for at least mentioning it & BTW, I asked the question because I'm interested especially when people are vague


----------



## Rickson9

It is good that you are so knowledgeable that the discussions are not new or interesting to you. I am not very knowledgeable so it is interesting to me. Perhaps if you found wealthy people interesting you would have more wealthy friends (instead of writing posts to anonyous forum readers about making a couple bucks on covered call options on Ford stock)?

Wouldn't it be amusing if somebody who had a lot of knowledge had less than somebody who knew (a lot) less (adjusted for the time value of money of course)?

PS: I am assuming that if the aforementioned conversations were not new to you that you could guess at what issues we were discussing. I would ask, but there would be no real point. I think we both know the answer.


----------



## CJB

So does that mean as your net worth grows, you drop some people out of your circle because they aren't cool anymore? To that end, why are the people that are seemingly more wealthy than yourself divulging information with you in the room, yet you seem so reluctant to do the same with people less wealthy than yourself?


----------



## Rickson9

CJB said:


> So does that mean as your net worth grows, you drop some people out of your circle because they aren't cool anymore? To that end, why are the people that are seemingly more wealthy than yourself divulging information with you in the room, yet you seem so reluctant to do the same with people less wealthy than yourself?


There was no discussion about how people find their way "into our circle". Perhaps you were confusing my post with someone elses?

The only comments that were made were about what topics we discussed with different individuals. 

People who are wealthy like to discuss wealth building. It really isn't difficult to get them talking about what made them successful. I want to learn and listen, they want to tell. It works out.

I am not reluctant to discuss wealth building with anybody. However, most don't find wealth building interesting. As such, we don't discuss it.

If you want to get a sense of what it feels like, pick a sport that you have absolutely no interest in and then go talk to a fan of that sport for a few hours. After you finish, find another fan of that sport - rinse and repeat. Let me know when you stop.


----------



## Ben

With respect, there is no need to push this discussion any further. 

Rickson9 has stated the position that, when it comes to financial matters, there is more to learn from the wealthy than the poor. There is not a lot to debate on this thesis.


----------



## Retired at 31

Ben said:


> when it comes to financial matters, there is more to learn from the wealthy than the poor. There is not a lot to debate on this thesis.


Well put!

It reflects my own views on the planner/advisor/salesperson industry too. If client richer than adviser, then the same thesis applies.


----------



## Robillard

Getting back to the original question...

No, I don't openly discuss these things with just anyone, but I am willing to discuss it with my immediate family and certain very close friends. When I had a negative net worth (carrying student loans straight out of university), I was pretty open about it. Now I don't talk about it so much, particularly since I did the tax returns of a couple of friends and realised that of the friends that I see often, I earned the most in the past year. Mostly I keep a lid on it now because I don't want to brag. 

At my office, I once accidentally let some of my immediate co-workers (in the same job as I) see my annual salary in a personal budgeting spreadsheet (at they wanted to know how I managed to discipline myself into sticking to a budget). No one said anything about seeing my salary. In part, salaries in my company are not a huge secret since the HR department publicly posts ranges of salaries for employees at a given level. When I was hired, I figured I was the lowest paid of the lot, so I didn't care much who knew I was getting paid peanuts. Then raises happened; I got a nice raise, while two of my immediate co-workers were disappointed. I haven't really talked about it much since then. 

There does seem to be a bit of tension about salaries and compensation in my job. Things can get particularly tense if one person is working 11+ hour days, multiple days in a row, while the others are leaving the office at 5 PM. This is because we are expected to work a certain amount of overtime, and the company factors this in when setting salaries. It really depends on how the work projects get divvied up. Lately, there hadn't been enough work to go around; and every day that a manager shows with with a project, I imagine that my co-workers and I would fight over who gets to do it like a bunch of jackals fighting over a carcass. Thankfully that doesn't happen.


----------



## cannon_fodder

mfd said:


> I think at the end of the day whether you have a 1 million or 10 million you might still have similar issues...if you are debt free what do you do with your money.
> 
> It doesn't really serve any purpose for Rickson to talk to someone who still has student loan and has only started paying down a mortgage.


It certainly does serve a purpose - to help others just like we have been helped.

If everyone adopted an attitude that I'm only interested in gaining from others rather than giving it would be a terrible world to live in.

I find it quite rewarding to help others through my own experience - sure, it doesn't earn me any more money but it does give back in ways that no amount of money can.

Perhaps Rickson has a myopic focus on only gaining knowledge to serve his family's best interest. It will certainly make that goal more achievable than being distracted by helping others.


----------



## cannon_fodder

My wife and I share most of our details on finances. We each have our own accounts separate from our joint accounts which neither of us can view. If she wanted to see mine, or vice versa, there would be no problem. It is just that she wants to have some separation to be independent without oversight and I support that. 

In fact, she recently asked to have her own RRSP set up that was not a spousal RRSP (both her personal and employer RRSP's are spousal). I could not explain to her satisfaction that it is her RRSP and the fact that I contribute to it doesn't alter that - she wanted to have something completely independent of my contributions. So, again, I supported her in that effort. It is not as efficient but it makes her happier so I went along.

We don't discuss salary or net worth with anyone else. We probably would discuss it with the kids but we want to avoid any drama because we both are divorced.


----------



## Ben

cannon_fodder said:


> It certainly does serve a purpose - to help others just like we have been helped.
> 
> If everyone adopted an attitude that I'm only interested in gaining from others rather than giving it would be a terrible world to live in.
> 
> I find it quite rewarding to help others through my own experience - sure, it doesn't earn me any more money but it does give back in ways that no amount of money can.
> 
> Perhaps Rickson has a myopic focus on only gaining knowledge to serve his family's best interest. It will certainly make that goal more achievable than being distracted by helping others.


My impression from Rickson's numerous contributions to this forum that he indeed has an altruistic approach to sharing his financial knowledge.


----------



## SimpleCanuck

Why not invent characters for the purposes of blogging (schizophrenic blogging? ) to present net worth and investment narratives from eclectic perspectives?

My wife and I are elbows deep together and keep our cards close. It's more blood and sweat than commodities for us right now anyhow. It seems to me that the greater impediment is a general lack of simple tools; everyone has to re-invent and cobble together their own spreadsheets. For many, there be dragons.


----------



## George

I don't generally discuss salaries with friends, but all of my coworkers know what my salary is (and I know theirs) - it's part of the deal if you work in a unionized employment situation. Everybody's salary is, after all, listed on a grid in the back of the union agreement.

I'm happy to discuss money issues with anybody, but as a rule I try to avoid talking about my own salary or net worth (at least, not in dollar-value figures). I usually side-step the issue by talking in terms of debt repayment (i.e. mortgage paid off in X years) and ratios (savings goal of 5X gross salary).


----------



## canadianbanks

No, I don't however I try to keep myself informed about salary trends in different industries.


----------



## Taxsaver

I'm very open about my finances on this forum because everyone seems to be well intentionned. I recently talked to friends about my debt and my not having any RRSP saving. That was very badly received. I heard comments like, "You're in debt??? What did you with your money!!!", "No RRSP??? And you're 44???", "AH, AH. $10K in debt. What did you spend it on???!!!", "You should have invested in RRSP well before. I don't understand you!", etc. I stopped talking. Jesus said something like "Those people closest to you will be your worst ennemies". I wish people had told me, "Congratulations on your new financial decisions! Let me share my financial plans.". Such negative persons!


----------



## Taxsaver

Just happened. I was about to tell a colleague about my RRSP. I was about to let her know, but I shut up. She said, "Something you want to say?'. I said, "Er... nothing...". I learned the hard way.


----------



## HaroldCrump

Rickson9 said:


> I am not reluctant to discuss wealth building with anybody. However, most don't find wealth building interesting.


Rickson9,
Are you the same person profiled at the link in your signature?
i.e. Jim Chuong?
Purely out of curiosity, since your "wealthy friends" have become such a topic of discussion 

Thanks


----------



## steve41

If anyone I met volunteered either or both their salary and net worth. I would have two responses... "what is his real motive?" or if I believed it to be true or probably true, I would think he was creepy.


----------



## Phalene

I don't tend to discuss finances with anyone I know IRL with the exception of my parents... most of friends are not in as good a financial position as we are, and talking about anything to do with money tends to make them quite uncomfortable.


----------



## Maria Charon

Since reading Million Dollar Journey’s post comparing the net worth of PFBloggers, I have continued to be curious about what we can see and learn from PFBloggers’ net worth. There are a lot of limitations to net worth. But it’s still interesting to look at. And these are all folks who are blogging about personal financewith many of them blogging specifically about what they are doing to increase their net worths.


----------



## michika

canadianbanks said:


> No, I don't however I try to keep myself informed about salary trends in different industries.


Can you elaborate more on this? How do you go about doing so?


----------



## yyzvoyageur

As a public servant, my salary is public knowledge for anyone who knows where to look (most don't), so if anyone asks, I don't hide it.

As far as net worth is concerned, we've had a lot of help from family so we're doing very well in comparison to many others our age (no mortgage and well-funded RRSPs, RESP, TFSAs, and non-registered investments). I don't go out of my way to talk about net worth with others because it could be a source of envy. Only a couple of close friends know how we're doing financially.


----------



## yyzvoyageur

Retireat50 said:


> People would be suprised to find out those who appear to not be outwardly weathly are perhaps some of the most wealthly out there. I know of a view and they don't display there wealth that much.


Absolutely! And many who strive for an outward appearance of wealth are often those most indebted. A colleague of mine is constantly travelling and purchasing high-end clothing and handbags, but doesn't know whose couch she'll call home from one month to the next (literally). I'm sure you've all watched Gail Vaz-Oxlade's show, so you know what I'm talking about.


----------



## tom_ford

The only time I have talked about money with other people -- specifically former officemates -- was during the time we suspected that our then-company accountant wasn't calculating our salaries well. And we were correct.

I don't think I have problems discussing about how much I make with family and close friends. That way, they know where I stand and what to expect from me (or so they know how never to expect a Channel or Louis Vuitton bag as birthday gifts from me).


----------



## Berubeland

"The only time I have talked about money with other people -- specifically former officemates -- was during the time we suspected that our then-company accountant wasn't calculating our salaries well. And we were correct."

I did this too once and found that people were getting really ripped off. I also found that the guy hired to replace me during my sick leave was making $400 more a month than I was after one year. 

We ironed it all out at the Labor Board.... I got a bit of a bonus to help me start my business

This is the same guy that wouldn't give me my separation papers unless I gave up $1600 in commissions. 

I almost framed the check so I could imagine over and over again his irritation at having to issue it due to the Labor Board Judgement but then my greed overcame me and I deposited it


----------



## OhGreatGuru

Ben said:


> Some people are open about their financial situation, some are not.
> 
> Some will tell you how much they make, and what their net worth is, but most will keep this info tight to their chest and hidden from prying eyes.
> 
> 
> Do you talk about your salary and net worth?
> If yes, to whom, and why?
> If no, why not?


I come from a generation where:
a) discussing your salary and net worth with other than very intimate friends and family would be considered gauche;
b) even within intimate circles it would not be done without reason, where the persons involved had a legitimate interest in knowing this personal information, such as estate planning discussions;
b) asking someone else about their salary or net worth would be considered extremely improper and impolite. 

I suppose an exception on salary is that, as a career civil servant, my classification and pay scale was a matter of more or less public knowledge, so my colleagues and I were all aware of our salary levels; and there would be generalized discussions at the office about wage scales in bargaining contracts.


----------



## time crisis

i'm pretty open. i work a pretty menial job and get paid a lot less than my peers.

i think i discuss it because i'd rather my friends know more about me. the pay doesnt embarrass me as much as the job itself (i work at a call centre)

there are a lot of things that i feel are private to me, money just isnt.


----------



## John_Michaels

I do not discuss Salary or Net Worth with either family or friends. I would like to since I respect the opinions of many of them but it's impossible to segregate the good from the bad.

I had made that mistake around ten years ago with family and I still receive some, what I consider, disparaging comments.

I'm sure the comments are familar to members of this forum: "why don't you spend your money";"with your money, you could afford more/bigger/better"; "you're rich, you can afford it"; "why aren't you helping your sister" (who is a person that will always make bad decisions); "if I had your money, I would..."; "why didn't you sponser me more" etc.. 

It's true. Never discuss religion, money, or politics.


----------



## furgy

I like to discuss investments , but not actual dollar ammounts.

There are a few on this forum that take every opportunity to let others know that they are "millionaires" , whatever that means , it seems to be different to everyone.

Others go on and on about how they retired early , big deal , there are young people on welfare who are "retired".

I'm guessing they do it to make themselves look successful , or maybe it's to take the focus off other attributes they percieve as shortcomings , like being short , bald , or having a small dick.

I may have a million dollars , or I may not , but I'm not telling anyone here , even CRA has no idea of my net worth other than the assets they can see.

I learned the hard way that it is very prudent to keep financial information personal.


----------



## canehdianman

I am quite open about my finances, I discuss it with my friends (who are also investment-minded). We share information about companies we are thinking of starting, investment strategies and even salary.

In the past 2 years, I've been frustrated with my salary, so I've been complaining about it a lot to them. I imagine they would rather I shut up!


----------



## ssimps

I find it bad to discuss income and investments with family; we try to hide it as much as we can now actually because much of our family is not that well off and have very bad spending habits. We don't really have many true friends, too busy working (and now posting on CMF), so I can't comment on that. 

When we first started being successful we did share that we were with some family, thinking they would be happy for us and proud, but that is not how it worked out. Many family members acted like it all just happened magically and did not apprieciate the years and years of education and then of 12 + hour days, 6/7 days a week that we have put in (and continue to) that have given us what we have; as well as the relatively frugal lifestyle we try to lead. 

Instead most like to just focus on what we have now, act as if it is for 'easy' for us, and almost recent it. It is human nature I guess. 

We are not into giving handouts to family if they can not save their own money first. We feel if someone is going to blow our money on stupid crap like they blow their own, we would blow it ourselves, but we don't (much). 

I'm sure every family is different though. Kind of a bummer in our case really.


----------



## Dr_V

ssimps said:


> I'm sure every family is different though.


You'd be surprsied; not all that different, I'm noticing.

I tend to talk to my side of the family about things like income & investing & net worth. We're tight-knit, and supportive of each other. (There also aren't that many of us left.)

But my wife's side of the family is large, and tends to be jealous, spendthrift, sceptical of people with money, and oblivious to the sheer amount of work & education required to achieve what we've done. We don't talk to them about money whatsoever.

I went to school for 12 years, and work all day at a computer. When they're working, they're generally employed as bricklayers, cabinet-makers, lawn-maintenance people, and that sort of heavy-labour-type thing. I suspect that, in their eyes, I don't do an "honest day's work" because I'm perceived as sitting in an office all day. I also don't blow my money on beer & cigarettes, having umpteen kids, or on cars that I cannot afford... It's usually just best for us not to say anything.


----------



## Dana

We are very private about our personal finances. That said, we love to discuss personal finance as a topic, but we do not disclose specifics about our own finances. 

My side of the family has more insight into our personal situation than my husband's side of the family. My husband has a lot of siblings and they tend to make assumptions about our situation (sometimes right and sometimes waaaaaaay wrong) and this has caused problems with some of our relationships in the past. 

We have one relative on my side of the family who is like-minded and sort of mentors us, so we will bounce ideas off him and have meaningful discussions with him. 

Our children are still young, but they are starting to ask questions about our financial situation and ask questions about financial conversations they hear us having. We are honest with them (at an age appropriate level) and are trying to instill the importance of discretion in them as well.


----------



## Oldroe

As a production worker I had a steady stream of engineers,tradesman, and mangers looking for sound financial advice, it was funny how some would sneak around to talk to a lowly production worker.

Both our family's look to me for help.

I stick to general info or look at specific investments. I refuse to mange there money.


----------



## mrbizi

at first they are impressed, then they feel jealous, and then they want to spend _*your*_ money!

...I never discuss money and net worth with family and friends.


----------



## bean438

I stopped talking to anyone because people are stupid.
My brother in law gives me the old "gee must be nice to max out your RSP and TFSA" speech in one breath, and then we view pictures from his family's Mexico trip, and Mall of America trip on his new 58" plasma TV!
WTF? lol


----------



## Smac20

I talk about it with friends because we have comparable education and experience. This way we know what we are worth and can use each other as examples when bargaining for an increase.


----------



## tomson84

I do not openly discuss the salary but do share with close friends.


----------



## Four Pillars

Smac20 said:


> I talk about it with friends because we have comparable education and experience. This way we know what we are worth and can use each other as examples when bargaining for an increase.


Same here - it doesn't really help me to know how much someone is making if they are in a field that I'm not in and have no interest in doing.


----------



## Jungle

I can't really talk to my friends or co-workers on the same level. I think this is because they don't care and just have common sense when it comes to finances.


----------



## Bank Guru

I don't discuss my salary at all, I'm private that way...


----------



## Tesla

In my case I have some good friends who are in the same boat and same mind set with money as me. So we openly discuss our money situations all the time ect. 
Its no big deal its just money and all of us have our own goals when it comes to money and ideally there are pretty much the same.


----------



## loggedout

*No*

I don't think it is a good idea to discuss salary/net worth with people in your personal or work life. I come from a background where you can get "got" if people get the impression you have "something". So for reasons of personal safety and not wanting to encourage keeping up with the joneses' competitions, I would not discuss these things openly.


----------



## heyjude

The_Number said:


> I don't disclose my personal financial data (esp. salary) with people I know, but it's *pubic* information.[/url]


Pubic information, eh?


----------



## Sherlock

I don't mind giving a ballpark figure of my salary/networth if someone asks but I don't give the exact amount.


----------



## ashby corner

Like that "thurston howell III" guy from VERY early in this post, I only disclose to those who have a higher salary than me.

That makes it more interesting.


hahahahhaha.


----------



## Taxsaver

If you keep telling everyone that you'll have this huge amount in your bank account in X years, then don't be surprised if malintentioned people become friendly just to become unfriendly with you later. Don't become paranoi, but be careful when it comes to money. Don't invite bad people to harm you. That situation did happen to me. A girl at work I was interested in had zero interest in me. Later, I bought a car. She then became more "interested". I drove her home after work even though it took me an hour more to get back home. I drove her around the city, buying expensive clothes, bags, and paid lots of restaurants when she did not pay one. When I needed something from her, she was too tired, too sick, too busy. Let me tell you I used my credit cards a lot. I must have spent about $7000 for all in all through the years. Then I had money problems. I stopped paying all that, and strangely, she has been calling me very rarely since then. I'm not blaming or judging her. I am the idiot. Now I know better.


----------

