# TOO frugal regrets



## Plugging Along

I do be believe there is a TOO frugal, I would like to know what are some of your regrets when you should have spent but didn't. 

I will start out some of my regrets...

Didn't pay for the professional portraits of my second child as a baby because my spouse was laid off. I have my own pictures, but they just aren't the same, and I will never get the opportunity again.

Our dream trip. We decided to go on our dream trip to japan before starting a family. At the same time a private investment opportunity came in. We invested the money instead. Now, with kids, again we will never have THAT vacation without kids again. Even though our investment is about 3x our investment amount, it's not liquid, and we don't need the money now.

Designer ring. I picked out the most beautiful designer ring, it was reasonable in price too. I actually bought it, and then after a few days returned it. I still think about that ring, I don't know why. 

Any one else on the the ones that got away?


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## pwm

Looking back, I wish I had bought a bigger house when our children were still at home. I think I was too concerned with being mortgage free as soon as possible. Of course that's in hindsight. I could have lost my job or had other problems, and regretted spending more on a house. You go with what seems right at the time with what you know at that time, so is it really worth it to regret decisions you made in the past?


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## Plugging Along

I do think its good to look back... A little... Especially if you tend to err on the too frugal side, just as I think it good to look back if you tend to spend too much. 

The people at CMF tend yo focus on the best purchases on the frugal side, sometimes it's good to look back if you are missing out.

For me, I have many more regrets on what I have overspent on, than not. This tells me that I need to be more careful and thoughtful on my spending. 

I would think that if someone has a lot of regrets on the things that they are not spending on, and none on the ones they are spending, they may be too frugal. 

Alos, I was curious, as I have a theory here, but was waiting on some more feedback.


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## bflannel

A similar but not entirely related comment is I regret not tipping more as a patron of the past. Tips makes people feel better and it rubs off on you too! Nothing excessive, just don't be so self invested to count the extra loonies.


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## marina628

I can't really say I have many regrets about money decisions ,that is a good post bflannel and I always think about servers and even the guy pumping the gas in the freezing cold.Probably the biggest 'frugal ' regret I have is letting my husband talking me into buying a desk and file cabinet at Sears that was $1400 for the two pieces.I wanted to get a solid wood desk custom made which would have been about $3000 -$5000 .Well within a couple months of getting it there was scratches and imperfections into it.I like the look of the pieces I bought but the quality is crap so just this month I got a Custom guy in to make me what I wanted all along in solid wood.


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## Jacq

In 2009, I took a contract job covering a friend's mat leave for a year. It didn't pay that well (compared to what I had been earning), but pretty decent. At the same time, I was continuing to wind down a company I'd worked for and was making $150/hour doing that in my "spare time". I had to really struggle with myself to get housecleaners in or outsource anything like dog daycare even though I was working 7 days a week most weeks and ~70 hours a week for months on end. And I actually enjoyed doing the work more than scrubbing toilets. Very penny wise, pound foolish on that one.

I really regret putting off major purchases like renovations, new appliances and furniture and focusing too much on getting to FI. I could have maintained a lower savings rate and done just fine and enjoyed the journey (and my home) a bit more instead of pushing it higher just to get the FI goal over and done with faster. At the time, I thought I would stop working a couple of years ago but have been fortunate to find work that lets me have ample time off so I'm not so obsessed about not working at all like I used to be. I just didn't know it would play out like it has.

I also wish I didn't often feel like I'm spending and shouldn't be when I do spend far below my means now. I clear over $10k/mo and feel a twinge of guilt buying lunch on average once a week for $7/pop. It seems a little OCD and unnecessarily self-sacrificing to me. :frown: I miss the days when I could do that kind of thing without a second thought.


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## OurBigFatWallet

We took a day tour once while on vacation and the tour guide was great. He went out of his way to make sure we were taken care of the entire time and showed us all the spots that most tourists would miss. The whole trip was great. Sadly at the end we only tipped a little because we were short on cash and were in a remote area with no cash available. We should have tipped more. We had a few days left in the trip and we should have just bit the bullet and took out more cash. I don't usually tip much but in that case he definitely deserved it.


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## heyjude

I've racked my brains, and I honestly can't think of anything I regret not buying. If anything, I can list some of the extravagances I indulged in earlier in my career that I now realize were of little value, notably, buying lavish gifts for people who did not appreciate them.


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## piano mom

My husband and I were rather frugal before we paid off our mortgage (10 years ago). We put every penny we didn't spend on absolute necessity into the mortgage (we were allowed to double up every month and 10% annually). We drove a crappy car which we repaired ourselves. I remember helping my husband in the cold garage in the middle of winter. Looking back I am proud of our commitment to each other and our shared determination to achieve FI. I don't really regret much in the past but we have now decided to loosen up and enjoy the fruits of our labour. Absolutely no guilt in dining out once or even twice a week


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## spirit

My husband is early 70's and I am early 60's. We have been frugal all our lives but if we really wanted something, we bought the best we could afford at the time.
Just this spring a coworker retired and her story at her retirement function was she wanted a "second wife's ring". The first wife gets the small, modest ring, then gets divorced and the second wife gets the "rock". She told her husband that since he was married to her, the first wife, it was time she got the second wife's ring. I thought she was joking and then saw her ring!!!!! Wow!!!
Well that story resonated with me (; and I told my husband that I too wanted a second wife's ring. I spent the whole summer holidays educating myself about diamonds and spent a lot of time looking online and in stores, making offers, getting some rejected, etc. But I learned a lot about diamonds and when the ring of my dreams showed up on Kijiji I knew that was the ring I wanted. I bought a beautiful Canadian diamond, 11/2 carot solitaire with a matching band. I paid less than 1/3 appraised value and my husband thinks it is stunning!!!! It is. Now our house is paid for, our kids are grown, and I work part time. If I want to spend the money on a ring, I will. This is really extravagant but boy has this ring brought me a lot of pleasure. I can't stop looking at it (;
So this fall a beautiful Lexus 460, long version, 2007 with 27 thousand kilometers came up for sale. I knew it was a great car, my husband thought it would be too extravagant, but went to see it. He bought it. Again, we had the cash, the deal came up and well, at our age, why not? We do not golf, we travel by car, and he loves that car.
On the other hand there is a beautiful ocean front property for sale, very close to where we holiday every year. Just came on the market and 300000 below appraised value. The market for homes on Vancouver Island is over built and the owners have experienced health problems and have moved to the mainland. Now THAT is a bargain!!! So my husband and I went to our bank and locked in our extra funds into a GIC. Even if we are tempted to buy, we could not do so without penalty and we would never do that. Some things are just not worth splurging
on.
So, if you think you are too frugal, it might be time to let it go and spend the money....or it might not. Only you can decide. Could you sleep at night if you bought it?


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## kcowan

We could have bought a campground on the Pacific overlooking Victoria for $300k but avoided the lifestyle change that would have ensued.

We could have bought a bungalow on a lake and put $500k in our pocket but decided that the extra 10 minutes drive was not worth it.

Looking back, both of these purchases could have made a significant difference in our lives.

We tried to buy a property of Lake Joseph for $300k that had been listed for $750K but the listing realtor bought it when we were on the way to make our offer. So that was not our fault.


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## Cal

Oddly enough, I haven't regretted not buying anything that I can think of.


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## Nemo2

Cal said:


> Oddly enough, I haven't regretted not buying anything that I can think of.


The only thing I can think of, (after some pondering), was back in 1969......my first wife and I spent a few months in Spain, living on $10 a day for both of us, (room/restaurant food/bar drinks), and were heading towards Portugal when we saw a _parador_ high up on a hill, (might have been this one, can't recall: https://www.paradorsofspain.com/paradoresdetails.aspx?Code=024 )...........drove this winding road up to the peak.....they wanted $10 for a room.......said "No way" and drove off........looking back I wish we'd've sprung for it.


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## Just a Guy

Well, I can think of two instances...the first was when I paid off our first house and lived debt free for several years...this was before I started to invest in real estate. While living debt free was really nice, I regret not leveraging my house earlier and buying more real estate sooner. I could have owned multiple properties before the boom.

The other regret I have was taking a contract from a company after I got injured. They wanted me to come in specifically, so I could only manage my company part time. It was for a year and a half and was terrible...too close to having a job and working for a paycheque, and it hurt my company as I didn't have the time to focus on it properly. The company were control freaks, micromanaged everything and, even though I was a contractor and could have left at any time, I didn't want to make waves, I still had that I'm broke mentality. Of course, having been injured and living in heavy debt, I thought it was the only good plan at the time...I'd lost confidence in myself and my abilities.

Near the end of the term, I started to look at my investment portfolio (being a buy and ignore type investor, this is something I rarely do) and realized I was earning more in a week from it than I was from a month on the contract. It was enough confidence for me to quit and return to my own company full time. 

The first regret is a missed opportunity, not really a big deal as I did eventually stop listening to people who said investing is risky and you should try to live debt free.

The second one though, was worse. I gave up quality of life for safety and security. It may have been a good move at the time, but I paid a large price for it...

Of course, I don't really regret anything as I wouldn't be who I am without my past. These experiences taught me something and education can be costly.


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## Jon_Snow

Cal said:


> Oddly enough, I haven't regretted not buying anything that I can think of.


Me neither. Anything that we have truly wanted (not always needed), we have bought. The thing is, our lifestyle is such that our needs are few. For us, our happiness has proven very affordable. 

When we do buy, it is usually a top of the line item, fully researched to death before purchase.


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## jacofan

Sometimes I regret not being frugal enough!! I'd buy something and then later find out that if I did a bit more research I could have saved another 10% or more. This is on purchases over $500 generally, not food and such..


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## Just a Guy

Oh, I remember when I was younger, my buddy used to go for lunch daily as we worked in the same building...one day, he had the bright idea to have a competition to see how cheap our lunches could be eating out...so, for about a month, we tried all sorts of places and ended it at a toonie Tuesday at KFC. The food was so bad, both of us looked at each other and said "what the <bleep> are we thinking", that was my last foray into junk food...I'm an admitted food snob now.


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## marina628

LOL I have a rule that we cannot eat anywhere with plastic chairs


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## Plugging Along

Lol... I am a bit of a foodie too, but don't mind little gems where they have plastic chairs. 

My newest cheap find is The new KFC. KOREAN Fried Chicken. Never again will I go back to C. Saunders. 

I actually find that fast food is my none frugal treat. I can make it some much better myself and cheaper too.


My other regret was that I didn't go to a restaurant in Europe when me was travelling because the meal was more than my food budget for the week. I thought about it for years, and then ended up going on NY later on. It was well worth it. Now, I will spurge on super meals.


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## Four Pillars

I don't have too many regrets, but one odd one that keeps popping up is not buying photos of myself surfing in Australia. I did quite a bit of surfing there and one of the places I took lessons with did photos. I didn't want to spring for the $10 or whatever it was and I've regretted it ever since. That said, it's a very minor regret.

The only other thing that comes to mind is I wished I traveled more before kids and when I was single. I did do some travel, but in retrospect - not enough. 

My first trip to Europe was in my very late 30's with a 22 month old and a 2 month old. Fun stuff!


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## Ag Driver

Being too cheap to drive large distances to see friends more often. Gas may be expensive, but when friends pass, it's very cheap quality time in hindsight.


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## sags

We all have to work to provide for our families.........but I wish I had turned down overtime hours and spent more time with my dad when I could have.

He would ask if I wanted to go with him to "the trailer" up north...........and I would always seem to be too busy working.

The overtime money didn't seem to make any difference........we just spent more.

But, I sure miss my dad.

I think of this song by Harry Chapin............Cats in the Cradle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OqwKfgLaeA


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## kcowan

Nemo2 said:


> The only thing I can think of, (after some pondering), was back in 1969......my first wife and I spent a few months in Spain, living on $10 a day for both of us, (room/restaurant food/bar drinks), and were heading towards Portugal when we saw a _parador_ high up on a hill, (might have been this one, can't recall: https://www.paradorsofspain.com/paradoresdetails.aspx?Code=024 )...........drove this winding road up to the peak.....they wanted $10 for a room.......said "No way" and drove off........looking back I wish we'd've sprung for it.


In 2005, we disembarked from our Med cruise from Venice to Barcelona with a 2 day reservation on Las Ramblas. We rented a car and headed south. In the first town, we encountered one of the Paradores. It was like a 5* hotel complete with an comparable dining room (but cost $125 Cdn a night). These are built in old convents or other old buildings by the government of Spain. The next day, we asked the front desk to book them for the rest of our trip. Some were on the coast and others inland tracking our itinerary to Malaga. Every one was amazing value except the Alhambra in Granada, which was right inside at the top of the hill. It was a 3-room suite with a huge deck covered by a spreading chestnut tree. Very impressive. But $325 Cdn a night! We decided it was worth it for one night! (We checked one commercial hotel in the area and it was $275 for just a 3* room.)

The only problem was that the chestnuts were ripe, and when the wind blew, they fell onto the deck making a racket. Fortunately there was no wind at night. We compensated by staying with friends in Antequera for 3 nights for the cost of 2 bottles of wine and a dinner out (very inexpensive).

So yes our stay in The Alhambra was an extravagance! But no regrets!


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## Nemo2

^ You're giving me itchy feet....(and it's 210 days until our next (scheduled) departure).


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## PrairieGal

Not necessarily too frugal, but too uninformed. We didn't put any money into RESP's for our kids because we didn't understand them. We just put money into a savings account for their education. Kills me to think of government money left on the table.


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## seankearns

No scuba diving in Zanzibar. I mean, when am I ever going to be there again.


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## Nemo2

seankearns said:


> No scuba diving in Zanzibar. I mean, when am I ever going to be there again.


LOL....stayed _here_ in Zanzibar.......could definitely qualify for 'too frugal':


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## james4beach

Regrets: I've traveled to some beautiful vacation destinations, and even though I found superb hotel deals I only stayed for a week. EVERY time I later thought to myself, why oh why didn't I stay one or two more weeks?

For example last year I went to the Canary Islands on a detour from the UK. Thanks to the crashing Spanish/European economy, there are some incredibly cheap hotels available there. I stayed in a beautiful apartment that cost about the same as the regular rent I pay in Toronto.

I stayed for a week, and then immediately regretted it. I should have stayed a month.


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## james4beach

Four Pillars said:


> I don't have too many regrets, but one odd one that keeps popping up is not buying photos of myself surfing in Australia.


Sigh, my biggest regret was *returning* from Australia.

Hey it's never too late! Air New Zealand usually has sales this time of year, why not zip on over there and take some surfing lessons again? The ocean is warm til maybe April.


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## Nemo2

james4beach said:


> The ocean is warm til maybe April.


Go up to northern Queensland.......(watch out for the salties though. :wink: )


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## james4beach

True, northern QLD has warmer waters but it's not surfable. And the ocean isn't as nice, the real beautiful parts are Sunshine Coast and south.

So if you want an aussie surfing trip it's best to do it now, until about April. I was still surfing in May without a wetsuit, the locals thought I was crazy but they don't realize what kinds of lakes we swim in here (like Georgian Bay, chilly!)

Check current surfing conditions and live cams at this site. My goodness the ocean is 22 C. Oh my.

ok I've got to get my mind off this otherwise I won't get any work done today.


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## james4beach

omg the water temp is 25 C in queensland. OK, I'm blocking that site.


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## nobleea

Nothing specific springs to mind as far as being too frugal and regretting it. We always spend good money on experiences and a lot on travel. We did a lot of traveling before having kids (almost 60 countries between the two of us).

I guess doing too much DIY on the home renos might count as too frugal. Though I didn't do it primarily to save money, the main driver was because I enjoy doing it and wanted to try. But the end result wasn't great on some things and will probably have to be redone soon.

Another thing which I don't regret yet, though I may in the future, is not spending on quality food. I am changing (thanks to the wife) and buying more fresh veggies, less prepared foods. Who knows what diseases and illnesses are exacerbated or amplified by the crap they but in some foods. That could be one hell of a regret at some point in the future.
The other would be not getting a monitored home alarm. Nothing's happened, and given the crime rates nothing is likely to happen. But if we did get robbed (or worse), might be feeling pretty regretful about that. That is a decision strictly based on cost.


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## RBull

I'm having a hard time coming up with things that we have been too frugal on. Overall it's been a good balance. Enough nice things and good memories but overall careful and not at all wasteful. 

Very soon I'll be joining my wife in retirement just about at my 55th birthday and we plan to have an even better lifestyle than we've had in the past 5 years but not as high as it was in years before that.


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## OurBigFatWallet

Another common one for me is waiting for something to go on sale (ie out of season), waiting too long and then the item either doesn't go on sale or goes on sale for a very short period and sells out quickly. I tend to miss out on things that are reasons lay priced and that I need simply because I refuse to pay full price


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## Nemo2

OurBigFatWallet said:


> Another common one for me is waiting for something to go on sale (ie out of season), waiting too long and then the item either doesn't go on sale or goes on sale for a very short period and sells out quickly. I tend to miss out on things that are reasons lay priced and that I need simply because I refuse to pay full price


But sometimes one gets lucky........we picked up a couple jackets at Eddie Bauer last week......mine, 'regularly priced' at $299, I got for $84.......my wife's, regular $189, she got for $72................one of the 'tricks' when either buying or selling is not to want it too much.

(Oh, and fortuitous timing doesn't hurt. :wink: )


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## realist

Not spending more money to extend our trip to Alaska. We did a cruise for a wedding, and in hindsight I wish we had spent the money to stay longer after the cruise. I couldn't really afford it but I am unlikely to go back anytime soon.


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## NorthKC

I can't think of anything when I was too frugal because I always try to make sure that I get the best quality at a decent price.


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## techsoul

*Regrets*

I was too frugal to buy a house after graduation in '06. I figured the housing boom was sure to end in a few years and houses would return to historical norms. Instead, mortgage rules were changed to allow 0 down / 40 year mortgages and interest rates dropped to record-setting lows. Now rent prices have been driven up and house prices have yet to recede. I'm now forced to spend over $2,500 / month on rent (50% of our income) and I still can't fine a suitable house for my young family unless I'm wiling to commute 2+hrs to get to into downtown everyday. 

We've got no debt and a large investment portfolio, but we might as well be broke. It looks like we'll be forced to either embrace the condo life-style, accept a terrible commute or move back in with our parents :distress: 

I'm very disappointed that I won't be able to provide my daughter with a house and a yard to grow up in without taking on $500,000 in debt and compromising my entire investment portfolio.

I regret not taking more risk when I had nothing to lose. Instead I took the safe route and compromised on my families future.


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## nahc

techsoul said:


> I'm very disappointed that I won't be able to provide my daughter with a house and a yard to grow up in without taking on $500,000 in debt and compromising my entire investment portfolio.


Nah, kids don't remember the size of the yard or house they grow up in, just time you spend with them. Think about all the kids growing up in crowded places like Hong Kong.

On the other hand, the long commute (I did that for a few years) sucks though. Maybe a closer place that's smaller?


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## Just a Guy

Maybe a different province or city where there are jobs and more affordable places?

Before you all scoff, remember all our relatives changed continents at some point, even the natives...and frankly, we're all reaping the benefits of their courage.


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## Janus

I actually regret being too frugal when I had no money. I started my MBA at age 22 and finished at 24 (ridiculously early I know), during which I lived at home and wroked extremely hard in order to compensate for my relative lack of work experience. On top of that I was petrified of taking on debt, so the idea of spending money I didn't have on things like alcohol or dinners out was too much to handle at the time.

In retrospect I wish I'd enjoyed life more during those years and spent some money on nights out in Toronto. I don't think anyone should live so harshly in their early 20's. It's easy to say now knowing I graduated with a good job, but at the time it was easy to picture a worst-case scenario.


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## Cdnwife

My passion is travel. My biggest regret is not taking advantage of travel opportunities as I was concerned about how much it would cost. I travelled Australia with a friend and she went to Bali while I waited for my car to be fixed in Darwin. Had I known I would be there for four weeks, I should have gone. The second travel regret was not taking an excursion to Machu Pichu at the end of my contract. It would have cost me under a thousand dollars in cost and and lost wages. Not sure I will get the chance to return.

I am currently on Mat Leave and have been invited to Thailand but have passed due to cost and the thought of flying that far on my own with two children. I hope this does not end up being another regret...


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## techsoul

Just a Guy said:


> Maybe a different province or city where there are jobs and more affordable places?
> 
> Before you all scoff, remember all our relatives changed continents at some point, even the natives...and frankly, we're all reaping the benefits of their courage.


I'm not shy about moving cities, I've done 13 times in my life already. I've seriously considered moving to a smaller town but you need to live where you can find a job. That said, I could probably leave my profession in Calgary and pump gas in a small BC town for the same after-expense income. 

I know I have no entitlement to own property in Canada, but these quality-of-life sacrifices have me questioning my choice of country. Perhaps I should join the tech brain-drain and move to Seattle or California. Alberta is all about resource extraction anyways. 

nahc, interesting that you mention long-commute, because our new plan is to start looking outside of Calgary and commute into town every day. This makes me very sad, because I will lose another hour each day with my family. That is a lot of time for me since my daughter already goes to sleep 1.5 hrs after I get home. 

The Canadian dream is dead. Home ownership is not financially attainable for the majority of young people today. Sad state of affairs, imo


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## 604firsttimebuyer

I've actually lived a pretty frugal lifestyle growing up. I'm planning to buy my own place this year and the thought of having to be even more frugal is a bit daunting to be honest.


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## nahc

techsoul said:


> ...our new plan is to start looking outside of Calgary and commute into town every day. This makes me very sad, because I will lose another hour each day with my family. That is a lot of time for me since my daughter already goes to sleep 1.5 hrs after I get home.
> 
> The Canadian dream is dead. Home ownership is not financially attainable for the majority of young people today. Sad state of affairs, imo


When we were in Toronto, we moved from our small condo right downtown next to our respective workspaces and into a big Richmond Hill house. Commute every morning and evening-- 1.5 hours to downtown core. At the end of that time I had my first kid. The commute was killer and eventually (along with a host of other reasons) took me right out of Toronto altogether. I swore up and down that when I got into my final career job that there was no way ever I would ever live in a place with a long commute to work.*

In Calgary, there are many rentals in the inner city for 2500$ that are plenty large enough for a family of three (3 bedrooms, etc) that are duplexes or townhouses or even some older standalones when I looked this morning at rentfaster.ca, even in a tight market.

The Canadian dream isn't dead. It's just all about delayed gratification, my friend. A home is the people around you, not the house you rent from the bank.

*the irony of this is, the job I ended up working at is distributed in about 15 locations all around Calgary at which I work at various frequencies. I currently rent and will buy a place near the weighted geographic mean of the places. The trouble for me is, the places I really want to buy are gone in a blink of an eye...


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## OurBigFatWallet

nahc said:


> When we were in Toronto, we moved from our small condo right downtown next to our respective workspaces and into a big Richmond Hill house. Commute every morning and evening-- 1.5 hours to downtown core. At the end of that time I had my first kid. The commute was killer and eventually (along with a host of other reasons) took me right out of Toronto altogether. I swore up and down that when I got into my final career job that there was no way ever I would ever live in a place with a long commute to work.*
> 
> In Calgary, there are many rentals in the inner city for 2500$ that are plenty large enough for a family of three (3 bedrooms, etc) that are duplexes or townhouses or even some older standalones when I looked this morning at rentfaster.ca, even in a tight market.
> 
> The Canadian dream isn't dead. It's just all about delayed gratification, my friend. A home is the people around you, not the house you rent from the bank.
> 
> *the irony of this is, the job I ended up working at is distributed in about 15 locations all around Calgary at which I work at various frequencies. I currently rent and will buy a place near the weighted geographic mean of the places. The trouble for me is, the places I really want to buy are gone in a blink of an eye...


The Calgary market is really hot right now for sure. When we listed our rental we got flooded with inquiries. What areas are you looking at buying in? The nice thing about Calgary is that most areas are about 30-45 min commute to and from work (or less). Inner city is nice if you work downtown but very pricey


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## nahc

OurBigFatWallet said:


> The Calgary market is really hot right now for sure.


Yeah, I know. We bid <2% under in my desired neighbourhood (Upper Scarboro, Scarboro, or close enough) on a property <24 hours on the markets, more than listed at >10% over assessed and (I think) our offer was pretty solid (RE agent didn't say anything), no financing conditions. 3 showings, 3 bids, and we weren't the winning ones =( atrp2biz is ++disappointed. He keeps moaning that we can't live in our stock portfolio. 

Because my time is worth a LOT (to me), I don't find a 45 min commute acceptable, unless I have to work in the NE that day (don't wanna live there). I also look very carefully at the public schools (I am sending my kids to public schools as I don't believe in private schools) in the areas I buy. The good thing is, being a (not-so-fresh) "off the boat", I have no hangups about being a renter (atrp2biz, being born and raised here, does to the nth degree). So I can be very patient and wait...


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## Four Pillars

nahc said:


> Yeah, I know. We bid <2% under in my desired neighbourhood (Upper Scarboro, Scarboro, or close enough) on a property <24 hours on the markets, more than listed at >10% over assessed and (I think) our offer was pretty solid (RE agent didn't say anything), no financing conditions. 3 showings, 3 bids, and we weren't the winning ones =( atrp2biz is ++disappointed. He keeps moaning that we can't live in our stock portfolio.


In my experience, if there are multiple bids, that almost always means the selling price will be higher than the ask.



nahc said:


> The good thing is, being a (not-so-fresh) "off the boat", I have no hangups about being a renter (atrp2biz, being born and raised here, does to the nth degree). So I can be very patient and wait...


I think you guys should start a new thread and talk this out.


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## Nemo2

nahc said:


> my desired neighbourhood (Upper Scarboro, Scarboro,


Was a time when Scarboro was a place where people went involuntarily. :biggrin:

(Oops....my bride tells me this refers to Calgary rather than 'Toronto' :redface: )


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## atrp2biz

Yeah, Calgary Scarboro is slightly different than Morningside/Sheppard Scarboro(ough).

FP--there was only one other bidder (lowball) prior to our bid. If we knew two others would join the fray, it would have likely changed our bid. What surprised us was that there wasn't another round of bids.

I'm more disappointed in having to move again to another rental. This time we're moving because our landlord gave us notice that they are selling. nahc says her time is worth a lot of money--in that case, we've spent several thousands of dollars looking for a new rental and prospective real estate. Why not just settle down?

In her defence, we are trying, but needless to say it will take time.

As an aside, I think putting our thoughts on an independent anonymous forum keeps both of us in check to ensure we're not drinking our own Kool-Aid. Curious if there are any other couples on CMF.


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## Perchance

atrp2biz said:


> Curious if there are any other couples on CMF.


Yes.


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## Four Pillars

atrp2biz said:


> FP--there was only one other bidder (lowball) prior to our bid. If we knew two others would join the fray, it would have likely changed our bid. What surprised us was that there wasn't another round of bids.


Yes, that is surprising. I guess there was enough of a difference in the bid amount or perhaps they didn't want to take a chance on the 2nd round. Sounds like they got what they were asking for.


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## OurBigFatWallet

atrp2biz said:


> Yeah, Calgary Scarboro is slightly different than Morningside/Sheppard Scarboro(ough).
> 
> FP--there was only one other bidder (lowball) prior to our bid. If we knew two others would join the fray, it would have likely changed our bid. What surprised us was that there wasn't another round of bids.
> 
> I'm more disappointed in having to move again to another rental. This time we're moving because our landlord gave us notice that they are selling. nahc says her time is worth a lot of money--in that case, we've spent several thousands of dollars looking for a new rental and prospective real estate. Why not just settle down?
> 
> In her defence, we are trying, but needless to say it will take time.
> 
> As an aside, I think putting our thoughts on an independent anonymous forum keeps both of us in check to ensure we're not drinking our own Kool-Aid. Curious if there are any other couples on CMF.


Bidding wars can be frustrating. If you're looking at a more central location in or near downtown you'll definitely pay a hefty premium. A coworker bought a house in the west for about 60% more than we paid. Their commute will be about 10 minutes faster each way. I suppose it's a matter of how much you value your time. 

Hopefully the housing market can start to slow down and become more balanced but then again who knows where it's headed in the next couple years


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## randomthoughts

I guess I regret not buying more house, or spending more on it.

I mean I'm happy, and I revel in not having a mortgage, but part of me wants a palace but is too lazy to move, heh.


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## peterk

I don't think I've ever regret being too frugal, but I DO regret _thinking_ about frugality so very much, at the expense of other things like: learning more, working harder, socializing more, developing passions, relaxing.

I probably could have spent 95% less time thinking about personal finance and still been 95% as frugal and efficient. A price I should have paid, in hindsight.


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## Barwelle

peterk said:


> I DO regret _thinking_ about frugality so very much, at the expense of other things like: learning more, working harder, socializing more, developing passions, relaxing.
> 
> I probably could have spent 95% less time thinking about personal finance and still been 95% as frugal and efficient. A price I should have paid, in hindsight.


Ditto. In particular, when I backpacked Europe a couple years ago... spent too much time trying to find the best deals on hostel beds, transportation, etc. Also too much time deciding where to go. Just go wherever, there's always something interesting to see or people to talk to. 

Though it's funny I say that, because there was an occasion where I should have done more research. I went to a small town in Normandy, with two hostels. The one in town is locked up, no answer at the door, nobody answers my phone calls. The second one is on the outskirts of town so I make the 30min walk... door's open a crack so I walk in, through an entrance, into a common area. Chairs are spread haphazardly throughout the room, some on their side or upside down... windows are open, there are dry leaves on the dirty floor. Dishes are somewhat neatly stacked on the counter, not put away in the cupboards. Upstairs, in the rooms, beds have messed up sheets on them. That place gave me the heebee-jeebees. 

I turned tail, got a room at the cheapest hotel in town. Looking back I feel like maybe I should have stayed, just to have a more interesting end to the story..! Though I was worried it could somehow become the end of me.

This was in May, so I think it was a seasonal hostel, still closed for the winter. But why would the doors and windows be left open and unlocked?


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## peterk

^ I've stayed in many a hostel dorm (well, maybe 10-15) and can tell you I'm done with those. Private rooms in a hostel are another matter though, and can be quite an enjoyable compromise of privacy and a solid sleep yet still getting access to the hostel community. They usually cost the same as the cheapest hotel room in the city for a room with a bathroom, and 20-30% less for a private bedroom but a shared bathroom.


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## atrp2biz

LOL. Reminds me of our honeymoon in Europe. nahc booked a hostel for our nights in London. Needless to say, I have since taken over arranging our travel accomodations.


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## Jon_Snow

I sometime wonder if, after all these years of living below our means so that I could retire early, I might discover ER isn't all that its cracked up to be, and that I will regret not living life to its fullest while we had a lot of money rolling in.

I probably won't know until I'm a couple of years in.


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## Four Pillars

atrp2biz said:


> LOL. Reminds me of our honeymoon in Europe. nahc booked a hostel for our nights in London. Needless to say, I have since taken over arranging our travel accomodations.


Lol.


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## Islenska

This thread had me stumped and then I recalled being on leave from military college in Victoria and in an art shop I could have bought one of Emily Carr's paintings for around 10k.

This was 1970 and being all of 17yrs that was huge money to scrape up, but even then I was nearly obsessed with her work.

Of course I didn't round up the cash and even though may never had sold it, the painting would be worth tons of money today.

But being 17, being too frugal was not on the radar screen. Actually currently I'm keen on a Group of Seven, on auction for $40k...................


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## Barwelle

peterk said:


> ^ I've stayed in many a hostel dorm (well, maybe 10-15) and can tell you I'm done with those.





atrp2biz said:


> Needless to say, I have since taken over arranging our travel accomodations.


Haha... low standards and no shame are prerequisites for staying in hostel dorms for sure.



Islenska said:


> I could have bought one of Emily Carr's paintings for around 10k.


It's funny to hear someone to say they regret being too frugal by passing on one single $10,000 item in 1970 (over 60k in today's dollars) that isn't a house or something big like that.

I'm just a lowly rural Albertan though... not a fine arts guy.


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## Karen

> It's funny to hear someone to say they regret being too frugal by passing on one single $10,000 item in 1970 (over 60k in today's dollars) that isn't a house or something big like that.
> 
> I'm just a lowly rural Albertan though... not a fine arts guy.


You're probably not aware, either, that the last Emily Carr painting that, to my knowledge, sold at auction, went for nearly $3,000,000!

http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/11/28/rare_emily_carr_painting_sells_for_29_million.html


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## Barwelle

No, I was not... Wow! That's a tidy sum. 

You want to know something else? Emily Carr is not a name that is familiar to me. Should I let myself out?

Neat painting though. I could see that hanging somewhere in my house. If I was considerably less frugal, of course...


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## cjk2

peterk said:


> I don't think I've ever regret being too frugal, but I DO regret _thinking_ about frugality so very much, at the expense of other things like: learning more, working harder, socializing more, developing passions, relaxing.
> 
> I probably could have spent 95% less time thinking about personal finance and still been 95% as frugal and efficient. A price I should have paid, in hindsight.


I know exactly what you mean...I spend so much time creating Excel spreadsheets/macros/graphs. It used to be tracking my every purchase (right down to the penny) when I was on a tight budget; now it's tracking all my investments. Especially each year around this time (when I do my taxes and start thinking more about my investments, how to optimize taxes, minimize fees, whether to change my asset allocation, etc.) I spend practically all my free time on it. And then probably in another month or so that frenzy will die down a bit.

But I can't say I really regret it yet, because I _do _really enjoy this whole process, so I think of it as more of a hobby, not a waste of time. I'm a bit of a math geek at heart but don't get to use it at all in my line of work (I think I definitely picked the wrong profession...that's my bigger regret!) so I have lots of fun with crunching the numbers for my finances.

Maybe further into the future I will start to regret it, though...


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## Money We Have

I stayed at a hostel in Florence on my Honeymoon and have no regrets.

I will say my one regret is in my earlier days of travel when I didn't know better I would cheap out on meals to save as much as possible, now when I travel I make sure I enjoy the local cuisine as it's part of the experience


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## Andrew

Definitely travelling more when I was younger. This may sound odd, but I wish I partied harder in university. Not too much, but just a bit .


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