# Shared expenses moving in with GF



## garth812 (Mar 27, 2012)

I am looking for some guidance.... my girlfriend wants me to move in with her. 

She is self employed and works out of her house that was fully paid for by her mom. She uses 25 to 30% of the house for her business.
I am full time employed and rent an apt that is in a town an hour away from her home town.
I make considerably more money then her, but also pay over a third of my take home pay in child support.

If I move there, I will incur gas expenses in excess of $600 a mth.... (from my current $250)

So the thing is....:
She wants to split all of the expenses of living there 50/50 even though she has a home based business.
So essentially I would be paying for half of her business operating costs.... (heat, hydro, prop taxes, water, telephone, cable, internet) 

I think that moving there will end up costing me more then staying in my town. 

Her argument is that there is no mortgage... But I think that there should be a split off for the business use of the home, then split it 50/50. She doesn't agree.... 

Maybe I am just splitting hairs.... but I just want to be fair about this.... 

Any "Polite" advice would be appreciated.


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## Causalien (Apr 4, 2009)

You are rich, money is to smooth over life's problems. Is this 30% going to be a huge amount? Worth fighting over for love? It's fine if you look at it as a business fair dealing, but this is not a business... you do plan on eventually marry right?


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

Nah, you would essentially be subsidizing a portion of her business (or unevenly splitting the actual, after-tax costs). You could propose to split expenses on an after-tax, take-home pay basis - which would include the after-tax (after deductions, in her case) costs. Sounds complicated, I know; but it would be more fair. 

My deeper question is why you'd want to get further into a relationship when you have resentment and questions going in. I'm going to go home and hug my husband: my level of resentment about him is "why did he put the kids' socks [that he washed, dried and folded] into MY sock drawer?"


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## Young&Ambitious (Aug 11, 2010)

MoneyGal perhaps he thought you'd like the kids' colourful socks? 

Causalien hits on a good point - this is not a business transaction; this is a relationship matter. Do you want to live with her period? You don't seem very interested, you seem quite focused on the money portion. I'd say hold off for now, her place will still be there 3months, 6months, and 12months down the road. This doesn't need to be rushed into.


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

_So the thing is....:
She wants to split all of the expenses of living there 50/50 even though she has a home based business.
So essentially I would be paying for half of her business operating costs.... (heat, hydro, prop taxes, water, telephone, cable, internet)_

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. If she wasn't operating a business out of the home, sounds to me like the "operating" costs for the house would be the same, and you would share those equally. The business doesn't have some magical pile of money. Paying part of these costs out of the business reduces her net business profit and thus her income. Yes, she gets some tax advantage, but businesses-in-the-home are not exactly large money makers for most people, which you seem to confirm when you say you make considerably more money than her.

If you can't agree on a fair solution to this you probably shouldn't move in together.


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## Patience (Mar 8, 2012)

The tax deductions she receives is probably not as much as you think. Forgive my fuzzy tax explanation, but...

If the cable (odd for a business deduction but whatever) comes to $100 per month, then she can deduct 30% of that... $30. I'm assuming she doesn't make that much, but lets assume she has a 30% tax rate. That's a $10 deduction, or $120 a year. If you paid for half the cable, it could be argued that she owes you $60 for the year on that. For the year, she'd possibly owe you $500 total across all deductions. In a common law situation where you make much more, that's probably fair anyways.


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## Patience (Mar 8, 2012)

As for the additional time and gas expense... commutting sucks but either it's worth the cost in time and money to see your gf or it's not. Is being with your gf more often worth an additional $4200+$500 a year? 

Have you considered having the both of you buy a place somewhere in between?


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## cardhu (May 26, 2009)

toolbox said:


> I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.


+1
Its not going to amount to very much in the grand scheme of things. 
If this is a serious relationship, you could consider it a form of income-splitting. 
It may cost you more than a small apartment, but then again, its not a small apartment, its a house ... with a yard, etc. I know a yard can be a burden to some people, but I'm not one of those people. I like having a yard.


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## Maybe Later (Feb 19, 2011)

Is it her house or mom's house. Then the real question is, are you ready to make your GF's mom your landlord? 

DISCLAIMER: I have a mother in law and she's a lovely lady, particularly if she's reading this. 

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is in no way relationship or financial advice. It is meant for entertainment purposes and is supposed to funny. I thought it was hilarious. Your mileage may vary.


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## financialnoob (Feb 26, 2011)

Assuming you actually want to live with her, is it possible for her to sell the house and buy something closer to where you are? Considering she works from home, she could be more flexible about living location. Then again, that's a huge commitment to ask from her as well. So are you two really ready for this?

But I agree with what others have said, you seem to be making this into a big deal which makes me think there are issues larger than just how rent is split. Money usually isn't the cause of a relationship issue, but often comes up as a symptom of other issues.


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## OptsyEagle (Nov 29, 2009)

What about the cost of the home. The fact that there is no mortgage is a REAL benefit, worth at least $600 per month. What amount of your share have you allocated to the capital cost of the house? Sounds like nothing from what I have heard. Not very fair if you ask me.

You should find out what houses like that rent for and use some percentage of that for an expense as well, since I assume you will not retain any future ownership of the house.


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

OptsyEagle said:


> What about the cost of the home. The fact that there is no mortgage is a REAL benefit, worth at least $600 per month. What amount of your share have you allocated to the capital cost of the house? Sounds like nothing from what I have heard. Not very fair if you ask me.


Why should he allot an amount for capital costs? What capital gain is he anticipating?


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## Guigz (Oct 28, 2010)

The real question is ; do you really need to spend over 600$ on gas per month? Are you a taxi driver?

At 10L/100 KM (i.e., pretty poor fuel efficiency) and 1.25$ per litre, you still consume 480 liters and drive 4,800KM per month ( 57,000 KM per year). Is that so? This is equivalent to driving at 100 KM/h for 48 hours per month! You must spend a fortune on maintenance and insurance.

Have you given a thought to trading your vehicle (I am guessing either a tank or a hummer) against something a little bit less thirsty? You would probably save a bunch there.

Regarding the original question, I guess it would depend what you think reasonable rent would be for the home. If you estimate to be about equal or less than what you pay for the expenses, I would consider this to be fair.

Another option would be to discuss sharing your car expenses with your girlfriend. The rationale being that if you pay to subsidize her earnings, she should do the same for you. Since you mention that you make way more than her, I am not sure how fair that would be though.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

G/F is only saving the Tax on this amount she writes off so keep that in mind.Get her to take you to Swiss Chalet once a week to offset her savings but let her keep the dinner receipt


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## OptsyEagle (Nov 29, 2009)

It's not the gain that he is anticipating. It is the roof over his head. Roofs cost money, either you buy them or you rent them. He should allocate a cost for this.


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

OK, agreed. I was responding to your characterization of this as a "capital" cost, not a rental cost.


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