# NauticalDisaster's Money Diary



## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Edited, no longer relevant.


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## Butters (Apr 20, 2012)

Looks good... I would pay debt off first!!! Once you guys have jobs from your schooling, you'll be able to save up for a down payment in no time. Just keep living like college students. You have the right ideas!


I think your emergency fund is a touch too high...

Google.... The Seven Baby Steps - Dave Ramsey

Step 1 is to save 1000 bucks in case of emergency
Step 2 pay down debts
Step 3 is to save 3-6 months of expenses as your emergency fund

I would take at least 2000 out of your TFSA and pay the 4.5% interest debt... or if you want a small victory get rid of that furniture balance completely and release that stress

Dave Ramsey will also tell you that you won't see the inside of a restaurant unless you work there part time on the weekends


You might also want to look into Tangerine or PC Financial (im not sure if PC is in quebec).... the banking fee's are free, and the savings rates are a bit higher! and they are totally accessible! Tangerine uses all Scotia bank ATM's /// PC uses CIBC atms


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Thank you for your input SheaButters. I think it does make sense to get rid of my debts first, now that I've all written this down and can have an overall view over my situation. A few things though : Why do you think my emergency fund is too high ? If I add the debt repayment (let's say, ideally around 200 each for my provincial loans and LOC) to the monthly expenses, I'm actually closer to $1,700 a month for obligatory expenses. This means I need $5,100 to cover 3 months. I guess by too high you mean that putting aside $500/month is too much considering I already have around $4,400 in my TFSA ? I should consider my Emergency Fund is almost complete, get my TFSA to $5,100 then redirect part of the cashflow to debts ? 

About Ramsey's debt snowball. I have read his website. I understand that he suggests an alternative to debt repayment strategies. It makes sense, but I don't think this is the right strategy for me. I'm disciplined and even if I don't clear small debts first, I don't lose my motivation. My situation is convenient for a classical approach of debt repayment, because my biggest debt is also the one with the highest % rate, so it makes sense for me to pay it first. Out of the two (LOC or furniture), the LOC stresses me the most because it's so high. And I have a few months left before interest start to run (is that the right word in English ?) on my provincial loan. So right now, it sits there but costs me nothing.

I've seen Tangerine ads on TV. I didn't know the bank fees were free ? I'll look into it. We have Scotia Banks around here. PC I'm not sure what it is, but I know we have CIBC.


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## Butters (Apr 20, 2012)

Emergency fund is in place for a few reasons

1. Unexpected root canal, tires on car if you need a vechile to get to work. Stuff like that.
2. is your job secure?
3. Other 

So if you had 2000 in there, you could pay or plan for a root canal, a broken car, etc...

If you lost your job, you should have 3-6 months in there so you can find a new job. But this step is skipped until your debt is paid off!

I just think 2000 would be enough for you, so you could use 2,400 and put that on the 4.5% debt and work on that. 


If you have the discipline, attack the highest rate first. 
If you still have this debt in a couple years, use Dave's method. 

But for sure "redirect" all yor extra cash towards the debt!

Some months you might find 200 extra cash, put it towards the debt. Other months you might have to pay for some unexpected bill, like dental, health or broken car, that month your repayment will be slower until you get back to having 2000 emergency. 
It's not an obligation, you just pay as much as you can, when you can. 
You should pay off debt before going out to a fancy restaurant. 
You make it seem like you just need a set number and things will work, extra money at the end of your budget you will waste on something you really don't need. Just pay the debt 


You might also be able to phone the furniture store and offer them a lump sum and pay it off now, at a lower amount. Say close the debt for 1200 cash right now. Saving you 251$
Sure you have 0% financing, but the furniture store likely marked up the prices for them being able to Offer free financing. It's like a hidden cost. A gimmick. 


Tangerine has no bank tellers. If you have a problem, you must phone them. 
You have free deposits and withdrawals from BNS ATMs.
Higher savings rate. And no monthly fee. 
They can save you fees by not having bank tellers and a bunch of branches the customers must pay for. 
One downside of working with these free banks, is that you may miss out of a better mortgage offer from your regular bank. Your regular bank may offer you a discount for being a valued customer. But they should offer than rate to anyone. 


Some things to consider. 

You're doing good, all you need is time


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

Hello and Welcome! I am from Montreal and is nice to hear from someone in the area on this forum.

I am glad you were able to realize and grab hold of your finances early. I think my main advice for you is to pay off your debt as soon as possible. One thing that stood out for me is when you mention 'my share of expenses'. To each their own but I strongly believe that a couple, especially that you are getting married (felicitations), should not have separate accounts and expenses. This is the main cause for financial difficulties amoung your couples!

I am a Mortgage Underwriter (Souscripteur Hypothècaire) and I see far too many young applicants looking for a mortgage who cannot qualify becasue they have too many student loans. They are appealing at first and definately help your education going.....but they are a burden to get rid of. What I often see is the loan lingers and the debt load keeps increasing because of the inability to save money. After the student loan comes the car loan(s), then the furniture loans, then the canadian tire card becasue there was a sale....and finally, if you manage to get a mortgage, the pool loan always comes in handy! SVP FAIRE ATTENTION! You don't want to fall into that trap.

You mentioned your spouse has savings. Take it and pay off all your debts. Once you are debt free, maximize your savings and you will see your down payment fund will increase quickly. If you're willing to save 15% for down-payment, aim for 20% because you will save on mortgage loan insurance. On a $250k purchase with 15% down, putting an extra 5% represents a savings of $4000 + all the interest you would have paid on that.

Good luck to you and hope you can benefit from everyone's advice!


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Thank you for your comments. I would like to address a few particular topics that have been brought up (hopefully I got the quoting thing correctly).



> Emergency fund is in place for a few reasons
> (…)
> So if you had 2000 in there, you could pay or plan for a root canal, a broken car, etc...
> If you lost your job, you should have 3-6 months in there so you can find a new job. But this step is skipped until your debt is paid off!


I have multiple savings’ account, each dedicated to car maintenance and annual fees, tuitions, etc. The reason is, before I started to budget, I always had trouble reminding myself what the money was for when I let it pile up in my chequing account. So I ended up putting 100% of it on my LOC, then use my LOC whenever an expense came up. Having multiple accounts has helped me organize my finances and now I always have money on hand when those expenses happen.

The only type of emergency saving missing until recently was related to a lost of income, and that’s what will happen in a few months if I don’t find something in my field in time (which can unfortunately happen). Even if I take a temporary job at McDonald’s to make ends meet, I still need to pay bills, pay debts (minimal) and I feel 2,000$ is too low for me to feel secure. But maybe $5,100 is also a bit ambitious. There’s monthly money that could be redirected to debts for sure !

About furniture, they're all 0% so there's nothing to be negotiated when it comes to better rates. I'm still not convinced about paying this debt off first (although I understand it from a ''cashflow'' standpoint). I rarely ever buy anything full price, and same happened with furniture. True, using the 0% option was not a necessity, but it allowed me not to fully empty my savings, and it felt like the most comfortable option for me at that time. I know there are people who are fully against credit in any shape of form, I understand it, but that’s not how I see it. Credit can be a convenient financial tool, as long as you use it properly. Even when I was struggling, I’ve never missed a payment. The first thing I did when my income improved was to clear my credit card and now, I haven't carried a balance for over 2 years. I don't want to consider my credit card an ''emergency'' device either. I review my credit score every year to make sure I’m on the right track. When I’m ready to buy a house, I want a score that will allow me room to negociate. I take it very seriously, and I am very careful with how I use credit. Can’t say I have always been in the past, but today, more than ever. 



> One downside of working with these free banks, is that you may miss out of a better mortgage offer from your regular bank. Your regular bank may offer you a discount for being a valued customer. But they should offer than rate to anyone.


Good point to think about. Desjardins so far has been more expensive on just about anything they offered me. My home and car insurances aren’t with them for that reason. I will sure ‘’shop around’’ when I feel ready to buy a property.



> Hello and Welcome! I am from Montreal and is nice to hear from someone in the area on this forum.
> (…)
> One thing that stood out for me is when you mention 'my share of expenses'. (…)
> 
> You mentioned your spouse has savings. Take it and pay off all your debts.


Bonjour et merci de m’accueillir ! My fiancé was born and raised in Montréal. Just a quick comment about couples’ finances. We totally agree with the ‘’our money’’ philosophy, and we intend on merging our finances together after we are married (and both have our jobs). But currently, there was absolutely no benefit for us to do so. And then, no protection as common-laws either. We use a joint account in which we both contribute, and that’s how common expenses are paid for. The fact we want to keep money separat for now is also why I do not want him to use his RRSP, that is ‘’our’’ downpayment fund so far, to pay for my student loans. Especially when considering taxes if we take that money out, and compounding if we leave it in. His investment is doing good so far, and we can expect it to grow a bit more while he studies full-time (and is unable to contribute). Again, it made sense to us to keep that little cushion until we are both more settled, and ready to merge finances. 

Yes, I agree it’s better to aim for 20% for a downpayment. I think the long-term financial benefits are worth it.


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

Glad you're on the right track. My point on the debts is that they can prevent you from qualifying for a mortgage in the long run. You may have a perfect plan in place but if you don't reach your full earning potential, your mortgage qualification may get affected.

One thing to keep in mind about using your RRSP as down payment, you'll have to be disciplined to pay that back....so that's an additional 'debt' you need to worry about. Many people underestimate that but it can be a burden if you carry it for a long time. Better off keeping the RRSP for retirement and save separately for you're DP. 

If you haven't noticed, I am very reluctant to debts.  Loans and credit cards should be used to your advantage. If the banks don't make money off your credit cards, you're on the right track. Focus on building wealth through disciplined savings. You'll find yourself ahead of the crowd.


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## SkyFall (Jun 19, 2012)

Exactly like Mortgage u/w said! 

and for your multiple accounts, if they are free (savings account) fine if not, what I do is I have a spreadsheet (EXCEL) where I breakdown everything 

i.e.

chequing act: $5000

Savings: $3500
Debts: $500
Cars: $250
Misc: $250

and welcome! Montreal represent!!!!


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Thank you ! I didn't know so many of you live in the Province of Québec.  

My savings accounts are free of monthly bank fees. I have to pay maybe 85 cents on transactions (taking money out from the account), but since they are occasional transactions (ex.: 3 times a year for tuitions, a few times a year for the car), I don't mind paying it. I consider it's a tiny cost to pay in exchange for helping me tremendously when it comes to managing my finances and knowing where my money goes. I use this system with a very detailed Excel spreadsheet, and it has been efficient for me so far. 

I made my fiancé read this topic and it has been a good opportunity for us to have a chat about a few suggestions you've brought up, if not for now because of our situation as students, at least in a near future when merging our finances and building our assets together, so thanks again.

It's weird how life happens. A few days ago, after a few weeks lurking around and reading money topics, I finally decide to post my own diary, hoping it would help me track my progress once I get a full-time job, and be encouraging because I would pay off my debts. Then, yesterday, I met my thesis director and after I told her that I had started working on my resume and was looking at job offers already, she tried to talk me into taking another year as a full-time student, in order for me to finish my thesis. I had thought about finishing it while working full-time, because I can't have loans anymore and won't have another scholarship. But she's right when she tells me if I do that, I might never end my degree, and I'll feel like I've just wasted 3 years of my live and a prestigious scholarship over something that will be useless in my resume, because all I would ever be able to claim is my Master's degree. She says it might be worth a year of financial sacrifices to get it done and over with. Deep down, I know she's right, but I feel so anxious and worried. I'll have to empty my savings and live off them (I don't want to add any more debt, I've worked too hard to pay off my LOC), but it is making me feel insecure. My director promised me a part-time job to help me make ends meet, but it's not a lot. Again, the idea is not for me to have 3 part-time jobs to earn more money this year, as this will keep me from focussing on my thesis. I'm torn. My ego (wanting to finish what I have started) is battling my insecurity about money. And unfortunately, it's hard to know what kind of job opportunities will come to me with or without a ph.d (if any), so it makes the decision process harder for me, because I can't be assured that it's going to be worth it career-wise.


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

I may have missed it but what field is your PHD?

This is my opinion only and I do not want to offend anyone - but I am not a fan of 'higher education'. I do believe everyone should have completed some level of education but to spend 3, 4 even 5 years in a University with a burden of student loans...waste another 5-10 years paying off the student loans - in my opinion, kind of worthless if a huge paying career is what you are after. If its the knowledge you are after, then I can understand.

I think all rather than all that time spent in school and paying off loans you can invest in gaining work experience all the while building your savings substantially. Although you may, and I use the term "may" loosely, end up with a bigger salary, the interim is not any different. I don't know anyone comming out of university landing a $400k salary. You need to start at the bottom like everyone else. I manage a team of employees who earn an average of $70k-$80k. When I hire, most candidates I meet expect that salary because they have a degree...but it doesn't work that way. I look for experience - a degree does not impress me nor earn you more money.

I have no degree - just a high school diploma. I starting working part-time when I was 15 and never stopped saving since. Today, I have a net worth of over 1 million - an no, I did not get lucky or cash in a penny stock. I worked a regular job, regular hours and managed to save the most I can while not incurring any debts. 

So, my question to you is, 'what are you looking for?' Is it money or knowledge?


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## SkyFall (Jun 19, 2012)

mortgage u/w would just help a fellow montrealer  (me)


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

sure


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Mortgage u/w said:


> I may have missed it but what field is your PHD?
> 
> This is my opinion only and I do not want to offend anyone - but I am not a fan of 'higher education'. I do believe everyone should have completed some level of education but to spend 3, 4 even 5 years in a University with a burden of student loans...waste another 5-10 years paying off the student loans - in my opinion, kind of worthless if a huge paying career is what you are after. If its the knowledge you are after, then I can understand.
> 
> ...


Thanks for your input. I share your opinion to some extent. I've had the exact same discussion/process of thinking these past weeks to try to figure out if I should be more concerned about money (entering the job market) or about my personal desire to accomplish this challenge, and finish something I've already put 3 years of my life into. All this, knowing with my master's degree, I could have a very decent job already. I know a ph.d. won't bring me a big income right away. Especially in humanities. BUT ... after thinking pros and cons, I've decided to go on with my thesis and finish it. Because it matters to me, as an individual : it's a challenge I want to succeed at, to be proud of myself, to be able to say ''now I'm REALLY done with University'' and take it one step at a time, instead of wanting to do everything at the same time. I've started seeing this year to come, with the monetary challenges, as an opportunity to grow as an individual. I've always been anxious about money, always felt I didn't have enough, even when I had. I thought this year might be life-changing for me : learning that I can, actually, make it even with such a low income. I thought maybe it will show me just how little I actually need to live, and that will probably be incredibly helpful later in life, because it will allow me to overcome my insecurities about money. And strangely enough, now that I have taken my decision and know I'll be poor next year ... I feel incredibly calm and RELIEVED. Like, all I have to worry about is paying bills when they come ... stop worrying wether or not my debts are tackled as fast as I'd like, that my savings do not build up as fast as I'd like, etc. The ''race'' has temporary stopped, only to be replaced with a sense of what's essential and what will make me feel accomplished, and it feels amazing. 

So, to answer your question : I chose to continue for knowledge, but not only academic knowledge, for personal knowledge as well : growing as a person and battling my insecurities, being proud of myself and feeling accomplished. Having a rewarding experience, both on a personal and professional level, and in my field, a ph.d. is always better than a master's degree, although it is not required (and might not change my income significantly), but it will never take opportunities away from me, on the contrary. 

So my main financial goal this year (2014-2015) has now become : not adding debt to what I already owe. We've calculated everything and if we're very disciplined, it should work.

ETA : Let's also put things in perspective when it comes to debts. I owe around $16,200 worth of student loans. If things go well, 16.2K is the total I'll owe for a completed ph.d and 10 years full-time (even summers) into University ... quite a small amount considering some people blow that equivalent their first year into a bachelor's degree (ex.: fields like medical school or law school that are crazy expensive). It's not a debt I intend on paying in 5 to 10 years either. Although it is not my ideal scenario where I would finish school without any debt, I think it's still manageable.


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

No longer relevant


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

Glad you have the schooling objective figured out. I would hate to see someone invest so much time and energy just because they are chasing money.....we all know by now that its not the degree that brings in the money. So I can understand your personal objectives to meet.

If I may comment on you budget, there are a few expenses I see that you can maybe do without. For one, your life insurance is not all that important at this stage in your life. I'm assuming you have no children and since you have no assets either, the life insurance serves no purpose. Its only $9 a month but its $9 you could be contributing to your debt or savings instead. 
Next is the cat litter and food. Unless you have a 5 cats, I find $45/mth excessive. I have a cat and a $30 bag of IAMs food (20lbs) lasts a good 3 months. Cat litter is under $10 for 30kg and could last 3 months also. Big gap between my $13/mth and your $45/mth. Something to reassess.
Bank fees: All major banks have student packages with no fees. I don't see why you are paying for the account. I am not a student nor a senior and have never paid 1 cent in fees. I reduce the amount of transactions in my account by using a 'cashback' reward credit card and use the credit card rather than the debit card. This way, I reduce the amount of transactions in my account and by keeping a minimum balance, all fees are waived - AND my credit card gives me a cashback for free! For the savings accounts, there shouldn't be any fees, but if there are, limit yourself to 1 savings account. Again, something to reassess. 
Finally, I would definately pay back some capital along with your interest payment on loans. You will save on interest in the long run and also reduce your debt. If you can, dump some of your savings onto the loan to reduce its balance and reduce the interest payment. I doubt your $8500 savings is generating 4.5% interest to offset the LOC...so you're definately better off paying off the LOC. 

Given your limited income, every dollar makes a difference. I have identified at least $45/mth you could be saving....if you can modify your LOC repayment, the savings is even higher. See where you can best apply that $45 savings...if it were me, I'd put it on the LOC.


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

Thanks for your suggestions. There are a few things I can't really change. Life insurance is one of them. I have 2 actually, one that was mandatory in order for me to get the student LOC (if I die, it pays off the debt I owe on that LOC). The other insurance is 5$/month, it is a temporary life insurance ($25,000), I took it after we moved in together because I couldn't afford for something more expensive, but I wanted to have a something in case I died, to protect my common-law. Since it's the only monetary protection I can offer him right now as we're not married yet, I'm not willing to sacrifice it. 

When it comes to cats, I have 3 of them. I too, buy Iams for my cats, the price is slightly higher ($33), but whenever I can, I buy it on sale (it sometimes drops at $27 at Wal-Mart). The bag lasts exactly a month. For litter, I buy big boxes too (18kg), at an average price of $8, and it lasts me 3 weeks. $45 is pretty much average once I calculate taxes. 

However, there are other places I suspect I might end up saving money. When it comes to clothing and all, right now all I know I'll need to purchase that's pricey is a pair of good winter boots. Other than that, I doubt I will really buy/need 50$ worth of clothing every month. I could commit to setting aside a small amount of money ($75-100) in case I rip my trousers or something, and redirect the monthly 50$ toward my LOC. That could be a way of finding capital to pay it down. 

I didn't know I could use the cashback rewards for monthly bank fees either ! I have over $150 cashback on my Visa ; I intended to use it on my LOC after I'm done with University. But it could also be one thing less I need to worry about by paying the year's fees ahead. And the one in our joint account too. I included the amount into the ''Rent'' category, but it's another $6.50 we have to pay monthly. To answer your question about fees, $6.50 is for 25 transactions, but we only use on average of 15. We could try to use the 12 transaction package, it is $3.95. The other accounts I have are paid ''by transaction'', it's currently 0.85 when you take money out of the account, but in June it will rise to $1. It's indeed very expensive even for occasional use, and I will definitely consider making changes. One thing that might help is once I get all my savings into the same account (the main one), I will exceed the minimal required for transactions to be free. It should spare me a few months and I could use less Visa cashback money as well. As for other banks, I will check what my other options are, but I'm worried it might cost extra fees if I move everything from one bank to another ?


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## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

The cashback cannot be used towards the account fees. What I meant is I pay no fees and on top of that I get paid a cashback for simply using the credit card. Of course, the card needs to be paid down entirely at the end of each month.

By the descriptions of you account fees, I will conclude you bank with Scotiabank. If that is the case, see their packages again because if you keep a minimum balance of $2000, the fees are waived. And again, look into student packages...


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## gt_23 (Jan 18, 2014)

Mortgage u/w said:


> I may have missed it but what field is your PHD?
> 
> This is my opinion only and I do not want to offend anyone - but I am not a fan of 'higher education'. I do believe everyone should have completed some level of education but to spend 3, 4 even 5 years in a University with a burden of student loans...waste another 5-10 years paying off the student loans - in my opinion, kind of worthless if a huge paying career is what you are after. If its the knowledge you are after, then I can understand.
> 
> ...


I'm a Gen Y and tend to agree with your views on education...it's unfortunate though that many of us have to learn it the hard way. Like many their ages, my parents didn't go to University, so I got a lot of my advice in this are from "counsellors" in the education system, who tell everybody to go to University. They also didn't contribute, so what I didn't earn, I borrowed.

Like you say, paying back the loans is tough. If you are serious about paying them back you will sacrifice time and experiences that you'll never get back and if you're not serious, then they will stick around for a long time and you'll pay a huge amount of interest. I think there also seems to be a new trend of going for more and more advanced degrees. It also seems strange to be starting your life poorer than when you came into the world.

I have some friends who went to work and bought property right out of high school. Several of them have already gained $250k on their principal rez. If the "education premium" on earnings is $25k per year, it would take 10 years just to even out this factor. Education is no doubt a long-term investment, however, in a lot of cases the NPV is low compared to the alternatives.

Very little that is positive in my current economic situation was due to my education. At work, nobody cares about your education - you're only as good as your current performance, and in some cases, being overeducated will discount you.


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

If it was to decide if I should start a 4-year-long degree, then by all means I would agree with you. But what has happened in the past is done and I can't change it. My situation now is rather : should I take 10 additional months to finish my ph.d. And at this point, I believe I am making the right choice. Realistically, would 10 months into the job market really make that much of a difference considering my situation ? Sure it would lower my debt and increase my savings a little bit, but it still wouldn't give me the 250K premium you mentioned either. Of course I'd like to be richer than I am, and debt-free ASAP (it is still my goal as soon as I'm done with university), but not at the detriment of my overall happiness and self-satisfaction. 

A thesis can be a great life experience and a rewarding challenge, but I agree it's not everybody's cup of tea. I see it as one among many other projects people can have in a lifetime. I believe I'm good at what I'm doing, I've been rewarded for my previous degrees, and while it might not suit the definition of a ''career'' yet, it doesn't mean I am not learning and developing valuable knowledge and skills as I am pursuing higher education, nor that a future employer will never take this into account when looking through my resume. I study in Humanities/Social Sciences : realistically, with a bachelor's degree, you probably won't work in your field (_that_ I believe is a waste); with a master's degree you can, but depending on your job, you might never access a higher leadership position. Now, I do fear a ph.d. will mean I am overeducated, it is a possibility, just like it might on the contrary get me places I never suspected I could get later in life. I'll have to do it and then to experience it. There is no certainty alright, but what will keep me motivated through the hard times is to remain positive and believe there is something great waiting for me in the next chapter of my life.


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## Spudd (Oct 11, 2011)

A PhD at least opens up the option to become a professor, which you cannot do with a lower degree. And with only 10 months left, you might as well just buckle down and finish it off.


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## fraser (May 15, 2010)

I am ever so thankful that I had the opportunity and the desire to attend post secondary studies-in my home town of Montreal and then in Toronto.

It was not so much about the money, and it still isn't, as it was about the opportunity. It has allowed me to experience different work environments and move between careers in the same organization. Was there a financial payback. For me, it was substantial but I was a '77 grad and I realize that things have changed.

But, I got much more out of my education than job opportunities and I have enjoyed those benefits for years. I was suddenly in a large group of people from different backgrounds and to a certain extent cultures. It think it made me much more open minded and I believe to think more critically.

Even if it was a negative investment in terms of dollars (it was not by any stretch), on reflection I still would have done it. In many ways it changed my life. Much like our travels over the years have changed our outlook on life. And I was a commerce major. So from that perspective, my personal payback was substantial.


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## NauticalDisaster (Apr 24, 2014)

I initially thought about closing this thread because I didn't feel it would be relevant for the year to come (as I would only be spending the money I had saved, so I thought : what's the point of keeping this diary if it doesn't help me track my progress ?). I thought about coming back later, in 2015, and start a whole new diary when I would be done with academics and ready to make true financial progress.

But I've been through a roller coaster of emotions lately. A week after I wrote my last message about finishing my ph.d, I experienced one of the biggest anxiety crisis I've had in a long time. And from that point on, I have been going back and forth with my decision to finish my ph.d or enter the job market. Some days, I would change my mind twice. I wrote the pros and cons of each choice (not only financially, but also on terms of personal achievements, career opportunities, etc.). It didn't help me, both had very legitimate concerns and valid arguments. I felt it was impossible for me to choose, just like you couldn't ask a parent to choose which of their two kids they preferred. I finally sought help at my university's students' services center (career counselling), that was a month ago. And through this process reflecting on myself and trying to make sense out of my life goals and priorities, I realized money would always be a huge concern for me. To the point I would not be able to concentrate on my ph.d. As a matter of fact, these past months, I haven't progressed much with my research, because I have been worried and anxious about money. What's the point of committing myself to another year in academia, if I can't concentrate because my mind is too busy worrying over bills and debts ?

So I made yet another big U-turn. Beyond good intentions, I hardly achieved any progress with my thesis so far, and meeting with a counselor helped me feel more confident about my future career. I guess I should also thank my unsufferable new neighbors who, since June 1st, have made our life miserable with their constant partying and lack of consideration for others, and have given me extra motivation to earn money in order for us to move out of our apartment ASAP. The ph.d. is important to me on a personal level, and I'm confident I'll finish it one day, but I'll just have to figure it out as life unfolds.

I have been job-hunting since April, but more actively for about 6 weeks now. No luck so far, not even a phone call or an interview, and that sucks. However, the good news is that from my previous decision to keep studying full-time, I have gotten into a saving frenzy and my emergency fund now contains 7 months worth of living expenses. That puts my mind at peace while I'm unsuccessful at finding a job. Hopefully, I'll be back soon to update my diary (because that will mean I finally got a job !!)


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