# frugal living budget and how having a baby will impact



## sunworship (Mar 15, 2019)

All, As you may recall from my previous posts, we are living on a tight budget right now paying down our debts aggressively. My debt free date will be mid-August and I am due with our first child in mid-September. I have temporarily stopped saving in order to pay down high-interest debts faster (student debt at 5% interest).

As of mid-September, my income will be going down to 93% during a 5-month mat leave. I am very lucky to have paid maternity leave. Adjusting the percentage income decrease to my percentage that I can contribute to debt/savings, I am wondering if it is realistic to expect to be able to transfer all of the contributions I am currently making to my debt repayment to my savings contributions come september or if my day-to-day frugal budget is really going to need some more room with a baby?

We aren't "stuff" people and I don't need to go out and "treat myself" - the happiness that comes from reaching my financial goals is treat enough for me. Similarly, we aren't planning on outfitting this baby more than minimally. I'm great at sourcing free hand-me-downs and we will also have a baby shower. I expect our pharmacy budget will go up some for diapers/diaper service but other than that, I am not anticipating any great changes in spending.

Am I being realistic that I can contribute the current amount going to debt all to savings once the baby comes, or will I have to slightly decrease the savings contributions to add more to my day-to-day budget given that we aren't the type to shop for lots of superfluous stuff for our baby and look for must-haves for free before buying them at a discount used?


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## like_to_retire (Oct 9, 2016)

sunworship said:


> Am I being realistic that I can contribute the current amount going to debt all to savings once the baby comes, or will I have to slightly decrease the savings contributions to add more to my day-to-day budget given that we aren't the type to shop for lots of superfluous stuff for our baby and look for must-haves for free before buying them at a discount used?


It's surprising how much stuff a baby needs. I remember quite some time ago when I was asked to day care my first grandchild for a day or two a week. No problem I said. I had forgotten the amount of items a baby needs. And realistically it's tough to pick up second hand for many of the essentials. A car seat has to be new, and things like cribs, change tables, high chairs, baby rockers, bouncy chairs all get pretty much destroyed by the original users. Everything for babies seems to be way overpriced, because the manufacturers appear to understand you'll just pay whatever they ask. The government's estimated cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610 -- or as much as almost $14,000 annually.
So I would add a little to your budget for sure.

ltr


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

sunworship said:


> All, As you may recall from my previous posts, we are living on a tight budget right now paying down our debts aggressively. My debt free date will be mid-August and I am due with our first child in mid-September. I have temporarily stopped saving in order to pay down high-interest debts faster (student debt at 5% interest).
> 
> As of mid-September, my income will be going down to 93% during a 5-month mat leave. I am very lucky to have paid maternity leave. I am wondering if it is realistic to expect to be able to transfer all of the contributions I am currently making to my debt repayment to my savings contributions come september or if my day-to-day frugal budget is really going to need some more room with a baby?
> 
> ...


Congrats on the soon to be newest addition. Prior to us having kids, we made sure we could live off of one income, just in case one of us wanted to stay home. (Neither of us wanted to, its hard). Thank goodness we did this, with our second child, my spouse was laid off, and I was facing layoff I returned to work early. We went down to 17% of our income, it was tight. 

I do think its possible to put in SOME of the current contributions that you are making for debt. I was so concerned in not spending hardly anything with my second and us both not working. Here are some areas that may be spending more on, and some tips I learned to minimize. I will give you unsolicited advice as it seems as soon as one has a child, everyone has advice. Your goal is to filter out what works for you, and ignore the rest. 

My first piece of advice is that you may possibly be so sleep deprived and overwhelmed that you can ever imagine. It will honestly pass, but do what ever you can to get extra sleep and take care of yourself. This may include spending a little more on items that you normally wouldn't. Be open. For example, I swore I would never put my baby in those little swings and would be the 'perfect' parent and be attentive, blah blah blah. After weeks of a non-stop crying baby, and my spouse went back to work and there was no one helping me, I put together the swing, only to realize I had no battery, so I tied a scarf to my arm and the swing, just to get some quiet. I also remember not having time to do anything, so had to make a choice between shower or eating, I choose to eat in the shower (bread sucks in the shower). I share these little things, because parents lie on how easy it is, and a little humor to know that other ALL deal with this, some are just more honest. Sorry I digress. 

Things that may increase spending 
- Diapers: Some choose cloth, they take time, and are a little cheaper if you plan to have more than one, but you need to factor in time to wash, the detergent, etc. Time or lack of was my biggest thing. So we choose disable. Start looking for sales now, and check you cost per diaper. Smaller size (not including newborn which are the most expensive) are cheaper per piece. When between sizes, it was cheaper to use the smaller size in the day, and large size at night. If you fine a really good deal, buy as much as you can. You can always exchange for a larger for unopen boxes. I found a good Black Friday sale, and literally bought $3000 in diapers for $800. 
- We started putting our babies on the toilet/potty at 7 and 5 months. Check out 'elimination communication' We did it because I generally hated diapers. It took some work, and my friends thought I was crazy. Both my kids were going in to the washroom in the day before 18 months. It was pretty awesome. We didn't spend that much on diapers.
- Wipes - I started making my own using the half size bounty paper towels (must be bounty). It was better for their skin and so much cheaper. We bought one case of Kirkland wipes for travel.
- Feeding - breast is best, but if you plan to go to work earlier, then getting them on the bottle is a good idea. Also so the dad and others can help. We have a really good breast pump, rent if you have to. For bottles and formula, my kids were under weight, so I did have to supplement. Sign up for the coupons, and we did one bottle of formula every day. 
- A good breast feeding pillow is helpful. I found that the cheap full size body pillows at Walmart worked the best, not too firm 
- Clothing - everyone has baby clothes they want to give away. You can get alots for free. I had so much, and just got a few cute outfits for when we went out. My kid spit up so much, that I didn't care what they wore

My essential equiptment:
Car seat - bucket then regular. For a non sleeping baby, being able to move the bucket seat is essentially. 
Crib - we didn't believe in co sleeping, but that's us
Playpen with bassinet option. We travelled a lot and went visiting with friends, so it was very handy. Don't get the most expensive get the most portable.
High chair
Travel high chair

Other things we spent on where prepared meals, I recommend a meal service or make a whole bunch of meals and freeze. Anything that gives you a little more time to yourself is okay. I ended up with carpel tunnel due to feeding so had someone come for home massages. 

Enjoy the time now, get as much sleep as you can, do things for you. My favorite place for date night now are pubs. No kids =)


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## sunworship (Mar 15, 2019)

Great advice.

So far I've been gifted or sourced for free a medela freestyle breast pump (used twice), a stroller system, a carsteat, a crib, a pack n' play, and an unused Mamaroo4 robotic swing. Hoping to keep on this trend of free/gifting and then come end of August have a good idea of what we actually still have left to buy.


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## Emjay85 (Nov 9, 2014)

sunworship said:


> Great advice.
> 
> So far I've been gifted or sourced for free a medela freestyle breast pump (used twice), a stroller system, a carsteat, a crib, a pack n' play, and an unused Mamaroo4 robotic swing. Hoping to keep on this trend of free/gifting and then come end of August have a good idea of what we actually still have left to buy.


Great advice is right!

Free or gently used baby items are easy to come by. My wife frequents the many mom group type of pages on facebook. Always good quality, gently used items to be sourced on there.

Sounds like you have most of the expensive purchases taken care of so far which is a great head start.

How come only a 5 month mat leave if you don't mind me asking? Is your husband taking the other 7 months?


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

Car seat probably has to be new. The plastic ages, and they are putting expiry dates on them now. So there aren't too many used ones on the market. And prices of new ones have really gone up. Unless you get lucky and find an "infant" seat that's only a couple of years old being sold on kijiji by someone who's not planning to have more kids.

Crib unfortunately likely has to be new. Because of all the changes that have taken place in safety standards, even Sally Ann, Value Village, and Goodwill won't take used ones anymore. They don't want the liability.

Safety standards for high chairs and change tables don't change much. It's more a matter of wear & tear that affects the resale market.

See if there is a Twins & Triplets association in your area that has an annual fundraising garage sale.


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## off.by.10 (Mar 16, 2014)

like_to_retire said:


> It's surprising how much stuff a baby needs. I remember quite some time ago when I was asked to day care my first grandchild for a day or two a week. No problem I said. I had forgotten the amount of items a baby needs. And realistically it's tough to pick up second hand for many of the essentials. A car seat has to be new, and things like cribs, change tables, high chairs, baby rockers, bouncy chairs all get pretty much destroyed by the original users. Everything for babies seems to be way overpriced, because the manufacturers appear to understand you'll just pay whatever they ask. The government's estimated cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610 -- or as much as almost $14,000 annually.


lol that's a ridiculous amount. How do you spend over 1000$ a month on a child? That makes no sense unless you include having to buy a larger house.

Babies require a few essential one time purchases but mostly, they need a lot of your time in the first year or two. You don't actually need a complete change table. You can change your baby just fine on the floor with a changing mat underneath for comfort and containing any mess. It's even safer that way (no risk of a fall). You definitely don't need any of the fancy chairs and rockers. Most of that stuff has a very short window during which it's useful and then it just eats up space. The majority of baby stuff in stores is for clueless parents or people wanting to buy gifts to parents.

Washable diapers can save you money if you don't pay too much for them. But that's less true as kids get older and need fewer changes. And they are a lot of work. For wipes, we used small baby washclothes (the cheapest we could find) and sprayed soapy water on them. Works much better than most wipes but may not be worth the trouble if you're not already washing diapers too.

Breastfeeding is good for the baby, good for you and good on your wallet. Doesn't work for everyone though. Baby clothes should be easy to find second hand as they outgrow them quickly and don't do much to wear them out.

The biggest expense will be daycare. Everything else is peanuts next to that.

Last word of advice: don't get the fancy high chair that looks comfortable. Get the one that has fewer parts and looks easy to clean when the baby decides to puke all over it


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

It's a bit of mystery how they come up with these numbers. There is no standardized method of calculating this by an agency such as StatsCan. Various private sector agencies come up with the figures - some them with axes to grind, like investment companies. An article on the Moneysense estimate (which is similar to the $233K) figures about 20% of it is shelter, including furnishings and household operations, for one child. How do they figure that allocation? They're also throwing in loss of income on maternity leave. This is an 18-year total remember. So the food bill; recreational activity costs; and transportation costs are pretty irrelevant for an infant.


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## *PetePerfectMan* (Jan 24, 2019)

sunworship said:


> Great advice.
> 
> So far I've been gifted or sourced for free a medela freestyle breast pump (used twice), a stroller system, a carsteat, a crib, a pack n' play, and an unused Mamaroo4 robotic swing. Hoping to keep on this trend of free/gifting and then come end of August have a good idea of what we actually still have left to buy.


First, Congratulations on having an additional soon. It's a gift to your family. Second, receiving gifts and free stuff will make you save money. Grab the opportunity to save money while there are a lot of resources. By August, you will know what are the other things you need for the baby.


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## andrewf (Mar 1, 2010)

Seems like the key thing with kids is to buy most of the 'life stage' stuff from other moms on kijiji or facebook marketplace. For safety items like carseats, I would be careful. They have expiry dates that you should verify.


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## diharv (Apr 19, 2011)

Car seats expire like milk ? I dunno , the stuff they make those out of have to be pretty old and weathered before they get brittle , unless they are placed under constant stress . In any case the the carseat we used for our two daughters stopped at our house for a few years . We were number two or three on the ownership list and then we passed it on . Booster seats , highchair and crib bought new , none expensive (Sears) . Wooden wheeled bassinet and change table also made the rounds around town. Call us mavericks we even had a, (gasp) baby walker in the early 2000s, and a gate at the top of the stairs!


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## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

Yes, they do. See http://www.tc.gc.ca/en/services/roa...tices/child-car-seats-booster-seats-safe.html

They are required to have an expiry date stamped on them. I don't believe the regulations actually pre-set a life span. That is up to the manufacturer. At one time it would be just "as recommended in manufacturer's instructions". But the instructions would be long gone before owners started to think about the issue. So the North American industry has been stamping the expiry date on them for some years.

This outdated Transport Canada bulletin https://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/motorvehiclesafety/safedrivers-childsafety-notices-2011c01-1168.htm. indicates the variability in lifetime of different models in 2011. I think rather than trying to keep such lists up to date, the manufacturers are now required to put the expiry date on the product. You may still see some recommendations from safety groups of "6 years", but I think a lot of these policies go back to the times when the manufacturers were not up front about applying expiry dates.

I don't disagree with you that a well-cared-for seat can last longer, but manufacturers don't want the liability. And you can't tell how much the plastic has weakened without destructive testing. Admittedly industry has a certain self-interest in having a "planned obsolescence" date, to promote product turnover.

Like you, my children were raised mostly in garage-sale playpens and high chairs. But it seems each new generation of infants finds a new way to commit suicide in these (particularly cribs and playpens). Prompting recalls and new design standards. Although sometimes the real problem is the incompetence of parents to assemble or maintain one properly. But then it's like the old engineering saying: _anyone who thinks their design is idiot-proof has underestimated the ingenuity of the average idiot._


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

By law, the expiry is on the car seat. When you purchase the sea, it willa ctually say when it was manufactured on the box. I learned that the hard way when I bought a seat on sale, and it was expiring in less than 2 years. If it doesn’t have an expriary, it was 7 years was the recommendation, but maybe that changed. 

If you are caught through a check stop for car seats, they will check expiration or you get a ticket.


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