# Turmoil and Looking Ahead



## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

I am not sure about you guys but I got to where I am today by always looking ahead no matter how hard things appear in the now. I never gave in to the I should quit my job, sell my house, throw money at the kids and so on without looking ahead to see where it will probably take me. When my kids have problems I always look to helping them succeed but at the same time try to say or do things that will put out fires that could hurt me down the road. Just because I am frustrated I don't just try to make problems go away in the now only to bite me much harder in the future.

I say these things because it just seems my children and others always focus on the now and will throw away their future to feel better today. My stepson is the poster boy for thinking in the now, he is a good mechanic but a horrible manager of money and emotions. A few years ago I got mail issued to him from Money Mart and I right away told my wife we have a money loser on our hands. She said we don't know that and so on but like you guys here we know that only complete money losers will hit a Money Mart. Anyways I was right of course and I am still dealing with him today about these issues without giving him money to just make it better. 

Anyway thanks for listening and I am interested in hearing if others here see the same frustrating issues in their lives and find people today as very shallow and only in the now.

I hope this post reads fine because I am in a big rush and don't have time to proof read it.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

Well, I believe in planning and thinking things through before actually doing them. I ask myself what is the worst thing that could happen by doing any particular act. If I am not willing to accept the consequences of the worst outcome, then I won't do the act.

Money is a tough one. None of us can really tell anyone what to do. All we can do is advise them based on what we would do if we were in their shoes, try to always be a pillar of common sense and making the correct decision in the situation. The trouble is that people who do as you describe tend to be good talkers but their actions speak the loudest. These people are very hard to convince otherwise.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

I try to set one year goals and five year goals for myself in terms of where I want our net worth to be .My husband and i are fairly young (44) and started out 26 years ago with maybe $300 to our name.

We have done a few stupid things along the way too as nobody is perfect but it is still not too late for the kids.I have a daughter who is 18 years and she got a job 8 months ago , we made a deal with her that we will give her her $40 a week allowance we have given her since she turn 16 if she in turn saved 100% of her paycheck until she goes to school full time in September 2011.
She has done this and will have about $19,000 in her acct when she goes to school.She has other friends who has been working same time who have been spending as they make it and now have to scramble for student loans.

I do not know the age of the kids or how much they make but maybe a good place to start is show them how much money they will have if they sign up for $25 a week RSP contribution? Tell them it will make you proud i they can start there ,even offer to go to a bank with them.We all assume most of us have basic knowledge on savings etc but sometimes that little bit of guidance makes the difference.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

Thanks for the comments so far.

The-royal-mail I also ask myself if I am willing to accept the consequences of any particular act in the now and the future before doing so. I just sold my house and have just bought a new house in a good area about a mile from where I live now. It has put me mortgage free with a bigger newer house with money in the bank and the house is still worth a million bucks. This all came about because of criteria I had set out many years ago about not looking at my principal residence as money and waiting until the time was right. To get what I wanted with the conditions and goals that I wanted and to set me up with the ability to save for retirement. My stepson of course looks at it like I am a millionaire ready to live the high life. Of course that is the way most money idiots look at things like this and is why they will never be in that position until they change the way in which they look at money or assets.

Marina628 my stepson is 31 years old and really has no excuse for being in the position he is in. He is finally starting to get it by hitting the bottom a few times in the last few years. The thing is will he be able to set his emotions aside and actually start planning for the future. I plan to give him some one time and the last time money after my home completion is done and I will tie that gift to him completing tasks set up by a debt counselor and setting up a budget. I feel a third party is the best way to do it because we always listen to others better then we would listen to our family.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

Dogcom ,
I understand what you mean ,I had a family member ask me when we got a million dollars in the bank can we give them 5%.they talked like it was hitting a jackpot.I flatly said no way of course.A 31 year old child a bit different ,probably kick his *** first then give him the advise 
We told our daughter she has to pay for the first year of school on her own and we will help her with the remaining years.We thought this will help her appreciate the value of money.I think you should tell you son he has to do so much with his debt and you will help him in the end.If he does nothing then don't help him.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

Thanks marina628 this is why I like to have my money tied up so I don't have it sitting around ready to be spent. My plan is to tell him that it is his fault that he is in this position and he needs to do the things I mentioned above and this is the last time. If he continues making mistakes after this I will tell my wife that he got help from his family already and he is on his own. I do this because we all make mistakes and I may need help one day myself to get a second chance so it is an investment in this way.


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## Toronto.gal (Jan 8, 2010)

dogcom said:


> 1. I say these things because it just seems my children and others always focus on the now and will throw away their future to feel better today.
> 
> 2. people today as very shallow and only in the now.


1. I think you're referring to what is called *Generation IG* [Instant Gratification], AKA Generation Me! So little wonder iPads2's are already sold out [at least in the UK]. 

Having said that, we now live in a world that increasingly caters to instant this and instant that, so can we really blame them? All we can do as parents, is guide & teach them to become responsible, self-sufficient adults. I must say I'm very lucky to have a very studious & frugal kid. 

With some folks [young & not so young], it's the buy now, plan/pay/worry later attitude.  

2. Distracted, entitled, impatient, lazy, selfish, shallow, rude, etc. This is only a generalization of course as there are many, many wonderful young people also, we just don't hear so much about them!


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## olivaw (Nov 21, 2010)

> “Our youths love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority – they show disrespect for their elders and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up food, and tyrannize teachers.” Socrates, c.400 B.C.



Young people tend to live in the present more than us old farts. When I was young, I was certainly less responsible with money than I am now. I was also faced with the need to accumulate all of the "stuff" that we associate with middle class life in Canada - a house, a car, furniture, appliances and entertainment devices. 

I'm in my peak earnings years now but I already have everything I need. At this point it is all about saving for retirement. 

Dogcom, I do understand your frustration. My own adult kids are terrible with money. There are times that I feel that I have failed them by not teaching them the value of a dollar. Then I remember what I was like when I was their age.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

Toronto.gal you seemed to have avoided the traps of Generation IG, or at least I think so since you post on this forum.

Olivaw I was lucky when I was young to have to always work for my spending money so I never wanted to smoke or anything like that because I didn't want to waste money on it.


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## sags (May 15, 2010)

Given that so many "boomers" will be entering their retirement years, with little or no retirement savings, I don't think today's generation are much different than their predecessors.

Our grandparents worked hard for 50 years, our parents worked hard for another 40 years, and we worked hard for another 40 years.

That is a combination of 130 years of working hard...........and we should be passing on an estate that would make the Kennedy's look like paupers..............

Ummm.........nope.

The "working" man never gets ahead, when he is working for someone else.


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## olivaw (Nov 21, 2010)

dogcom said:


> Olivaw I was lucky when I was young to have to always work for my spending money so I never wanted to smoke or anything like that because I didn't want to waste money on it.


Dogcom, I see a lot of people on these forums suggesting that they were always responsible but I'm skeptical. (I hope I that statement doesn't cause offence). Most young folks see the world as a place filled with opportunity and excitement. We older folks sometimes tend to view the world as a place filled with danger. 

Perhaps the world hasn't changed since we were young. Perhaps it is we who have changed.


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## financialnoob (Feb 26, 2011)

olivaw said:


> Dogcom, I see a lot of people on these forums suggesting that they were always responsible but I'm skeptical. (I hope I that statement doesn't cause offence). Most young folks see the world as a place filled with opportunity and excitement. We older folks sometimes tend to view the world as a place filled with danger.
> 
> Perhaps the world hasn't changed since we were young. Perhaps it is we who have changed.


Reminds me of an old joke. What's the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? 30 years.

I think it's getting worse, but North America has always been filled with people who prefer instant gratification. It's easy to yell at the young kids, but how many older people are in unsustainable mortgages or struggling to save for retirement? It's not just the kiddies.

In the Millionaire Next Door, they wrote about the kids of these millionaires and how they can sometimes be so dramatically different than their parents, and part of that blame resides in the parents. Part of the blame is because some parents give their kids everything to make their lives easier, but really, who could blame a parent for wanting that? But they inadvertently teach their children the wrong lessons in life.

I'm not absolving blame for the kids. I'm just saying it's not a generational issue so much as a North American thing which is starting to branch out more and more.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

Sags I plan on passing down an inheritance to my kids and that is why I will not let my family or kids drag me into the now or enjoy my money today at the expense of my retirement or what I will pass down. Some will say sure I worked for it and should spend it all but that kind of thinking could get you in deep trouble later on in life if you live to long. It also sort of goes back to who has the money and houses in general? Well it is the people who have kids and not the people who didn't even though kids cost a lot of money and time.

On another front I think today is much harder to budget for then at any time in the past. We now have internet we pay for and we pay for doing things we used to get for free or we pay for parking almost everywhere which we didn't before. We also pay carbon taxes or pay tax on the tax and so on, so in that way it is much harder today.


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## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

dogcom said:


> On another front I think today is much harder to budget for then at any time in the past. We now have internet we pay for and we pay for doing things we used to get for free or we pay for parking almost everywhere which we didn't before. We also pay carbon taxes or pay tax on the tax and so on, so in that way it is much harder today.


I don't agree. Every generation has things that sap them of money. The current generation has a rich variety of information at their finger tips. Some will use it effectively and others will not.

OTOH when I was 30, boats, RVs and cars were big expenses. And big houses with even bigger mortgages. It took a financial crisis to get me religion! So there might be hope for your son.


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

Don't even get me started.

I am baffled each and everyday by my co-workers and the amount of money they spend on ridiculous or perishable items.

Food, drugs, accessories, services, you name it!

I'm upset that I can only save $1k/month, meanwhile these guys are saving $50/month.

I feel better sitting at home (like tonight) researching, reading and watching movies knowing that I didnt spend $50 to get wasted tonight. 

They buy whatever they can afford to make the current day "better" for them.


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## dogcom (May 23, 2009)

You could be right kcowan but I think because of the high level of debt our country has had in the last 30 years it has created a cost that we now must pay. We pay it with fees and taxes in every way possible throwing budgets out of control.


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## Barwelle (Feb 23, 2011)

KaeJS said:


> I am baffled each and everyday by my co-workers and the amount of money they spend on ridiculous or perishable items.


Second that.

The one fellow complains about the credit card debt he is carrying over each month... after he spends several grand getting a lift, big mud tires, and a brush guard put on his truck.

Another says that his fridge is empty and he can't feed his kids... but he's always got a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and he's known to smoke pot. While working, yet.

Maybe I'm just being judgmental. But the kids part really gets me.


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## I'm Howard (Oct 13, 2010)

sags, don't know about your Parents, but I am certainly in line to receive a very healthy inheritance, since i don't need the monies, I am setting up plans for my mid 30's Children, who will further receive our Estate in the next 15 to 20 years.

Poor Dogans who are forever grateful to Canada for accepting us, and to Australia , for not.


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## Square Root (Jan 30, 2010)

I personally think we are living in a golden age. This probably reflects my personal financial circumstances more han anything. However, personal incomes have never been higher, education levels are higher than ever, life expectancy is higher, etc, etc. Obviously individual family issues can be all over the map, but I wouldn't draw any sweeping conclusions about "today's youth" from these kinds of personal experiences. I know many very impressive younger people and I think things will work out just fine in the future.


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## the-royal-mail (Dec 11, 2009)

KaeJS said:


> Food, drugs, accessories, services, you name it!


I don't understand your objection with these things. We all need food, drugs, accessories and services. Can you please elaborate?


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## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

the-royal-mail said:


> I don't understand your objection with these things. We all need food, drugs, accessories and services. Can you please elaborate?


Let me try:
Food - eating out or having lobster and shrimp at home
Drugs - taking "unnecessary" drugs
Accessories - iPods, etc.
Sevices - getting things done that you could do yourself, e.g. lawn-cutting


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

the-royal-mail said:


> I don't understand your objection with these things. We all need food, drugs, accessories and services. Can you please elaborate?


Maybe illegal drugs lol. I love food,gadgets ,diamonds ,cars and of course traveling.I will never be frugal and don't have to be , I teach my kids if you want things you have to be prepared to work very hard for them.Make sacrifices in early years so you can enjoy life in the later years.


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## marina628 (Dec 14, 2010)

kcowan said:


> Let me try:
> Food - eating out or having lobster and shrimp at home
> Drugs - taking "unnecessary" drugs
> Accessories - iPods, etc.
> Sevices - getting things done that you could do yourself, e.g. lawn-cutting


I am guilty of all these things and a few more lol


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