# Cats



## brad (May 22, 2009)

Not talking about the Broadway musical, but the animal.

My 20-year-old stepdaughter has moved back in with us temporarily after splitting up with her boyfriend, and she brought her cat with her. While this kid somehow found enough money for the past year and a half to keep herself well supplied with drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, and the latest fashions, she couldn't find enough to get the cat vaccinated or spayed. We took care of the required shots two weeks ago and have an appointment at the vet tomorrow night to have the cat neutered. The problem is that right now she's in heat. She meows loudly nonstop for 12 hours a day (which is challenging for me because I work at home and it's hard to concentrate on my work with all that noise), and she's now pissing all over the house. Amazingly, she's a considerate cat and whenever she pisses on the sofa or an armchair she comes running to me and brings me to the spot so I can clean it up.

That problem will be solved after she's spayed, but for the next 36 hours I've got a problem on my hands. Any suggestions, other than locking her in the basement where she at least won't damage the furniture? I'm going crazy! There's also a lineup of male cats who are pissing all over the outside of our house because they can smell her.


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## Berubeland (Sep 6, 2009)

You could leave town......

Just don't do what I did. 

I once had mice in my house so I mentioned this to a friend of mine who said his friend had a cat he was looking to give away. 

So the cat comes over to my house..... it hides for a few days then starts meowing and meowing to get out so I just figure fine she should come back she's been here long enough. In retrospect I should have figured out she was in heat. 

Several months go by and by now it is obvious this cat is pregnant. The mice incidentally are multiplying entirely unhindered by the cat. So then she had one kitten and she's still in labour. I keep waiting for more kittens but none come out. So I bring her to the vet who does an xray and there's a huge kitten stuck in her. So the vet says he'll give her some meds to push the other kitten out. So I go to work and then go back to vet. 

So... I get back to the vet and he says to me I had to give her an emergency c section to save her life and that'll be $500. I almost died of a heart attack. I then brought the cat home. I was even happier to find out that the vet while working on her parts had chosen NOT to SPAY HER. So the cat didn't really have much milk so I had to supplement feed the kitten. Then about two weeks later she got hit by a car and died. Everyone I knew laughed at me about the $500 cat. I then had to foster the kitten which includes massaging the cats butt to simulate the mom licking them so they will go to the bathroom. I had to feed it every 4 hours around the clock. 

By the time the kitten was old enough to go to the bathroom and eat on it's own I was so sick of it I gave it to a friend of mine. 

I got an exterminator in for $250 and since then I have been mouse free. 

I actually like cats but honestly the poor cat was cursed.


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## brad (May 22, 2009)

Well, much as we like this cat, I'm not sure her owner is responsible enough to own one. I discovered this morning that my stepdaughter hasn't emptied the cat's litterbox once in the two weeks she's been living here...I walked into her room and was nearly knocked on the floor by the stench, I don't know how she's survived it. I had to go out and buy new litter and clean out the box; if I have to do that again the kid is going to pay me $150. So rule 1 from here out is if she doesn't clean out the box at least twice a week (on garbage collection day), the cat goes to the SPCA. It's her cat, but it's our house, and as long as she wants to live here she need to live by our rules.


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## humble_pie (Jun 7, 2009)

what a sitcom. You guys are absolutely wasting your talents trading etfs & wts imo. There's money in hollywood for comedy writers like you.

anyhow brad just before christmas we had a no-room-at-the-inn kind of story here in this forum. Some nice gentleman had parents in their 90s with comfortable but not sumptuous means. Somehow they had wound up in a $100,000 per year residence that they couldn't afford. He said he didn't know exactly how this had happened, but it was after a hospitalization. I bet wunna those social workers at hospitals who function as bouncers probably shipped his parents to the first place that offered to take em.

so i posted a discreet message asking if he might be able to find a residence for his parents that would be farther out in the country therefore less expensive, but still up to his family's standards.

the next poster posted a blunt message. I don't want to be cruel, he said, but you've got to move your parents.

so this time i'm not fooling around with the discreet message. I'll just skip to the blunt message. Brad i don't want to be cruel but that cat has to go.


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## brad (May 22, 2009)

humble_pie said:


> Brad i don't want to be cruel but that cat has to go.


Well, let's see how things go after the hysterectomy. I used to work for a vet myself, and I know everyone said life was easier for them after their cat was neutered, so I'm hoping that'll be the case here. Hmmm, maybe it might work for the stepdaughter as well? That's an interesting thought.

My stepdaughter is attached enough to her little Princess (that's the cat's name when she's not being called other less charitable things) that my threat to take her away to the SPCA if the kid doesn't start taking care of the litterbox might have an effect as well.

Sorry for the drama, I was feeling pretty desperate this morning once the peeing-around-the-house thing started. I have a busy job, and just don't have time to run downstairs and clean up after this critter every hour, plus the constant loud meowing was driving me nuts. It started at 3:30 this morning and has continued pretty much nonstop since then. But things have quieted down a little now and she hasn't peed on anything in at least two hours.


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## humble_pie (Jun 7, 2009)

anyone would feel desperate. Unneutered cat pee on upholstered sofas & chairs is really nasty.

a few years ago my small street had a cat. An unneutered tomcat. Oh, the cat had an owner, but they wouldn't let their animal inside their house. When they went away on vacation they left the tomcat outside in the street. Other people provided food & water, and the cat returned the favour by spraying all the front doors. The stench from just one spray was powerful. Would seep through the house within seconds.

collectively, residents on the street went through every single animal repellant the neighbourhood hardware store could keep in stock. Nothing worked to stop this cat. One day the friendly hardware store owner told me that he had heard that "aspirins wrapped inside a slice of meat" could give a critter a heart attack.


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## MoneyGal (Apr 24, 2009)

....and????? Did you buy any aspirins that day?


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## humble_pie (Jun 7, 2009)

no, never. The cat, which proudly bore the name of a russian count, this being the only thing its owners had ever given to it, eventually died at a grand old age.

you see, all of us, each in his or her own way, had grown to love that cat ...


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## Berubeland (Sep 6, 2009)

I forgot this one.... 

Up north when I was a kid my neighbor had a mostly feral orange tomcat named Carrotte that was also not allowed inside his owners house because he sprayed prodigiously. As soon as the cat got in the house he would pee. Now to put this in perspective our closest neighbor was 2 km away. Anyways the cat got around and was not at all popular. He also used to lurk in the bushes and make grunting sounds. 

So my family decided to pour a foundation and move what was then the garage onto the new foundation and finish the inside and then we would move from the old house to the "new" house. So all this work got done.... and somehow the day after the new foundation was poured the cat came for a visit and sprayed the entire basement with "old tomcat" My dad's head almost exploded. My dad had a conference with the neighbor about what the cat had done and to ask permission to shoot the cat who had dared piss in his brand new house. It turned out the neighbor had himself been trying to shoot the cat. 

So after that every night at supper after work my dad would take his gun out and listen for the damn cat. This happened every night for several months. Every once in a while my dad would hear the cat grunting in the bushes and shoot at it's general direction with only a few leaves as his victims. (My dad is a pretty bad shot) Almost every night the cat found a new way back into the foundation and sprayed. So one night my dad and the neighbor waited in the foundation for the cat to come a calling. They had to do this for several nights in a row until finally the cat went to cat heaven. 

So the cat was duly buried and proper Christian blessing was said over the grave. Mostly this consisted of Jesus Christ thank God we finally got him. Even us kids hated the cat as he had a surly disposition and razor sharp claws. The entire neighborhood was safer and less smelly !!!

So a couple months later.... my neighbor calls dad and tells him to come over Carotte is back from the grave. So my dad goes over to find that the neighbor's dog has dug up the frozen solid cat and is prancing around the yard proudly with his prize. So my dad and the neighbor had to bury the cat again. My dad got his backhoe out and dug a grave about 10 feet deep for that cat. 

RIP Carotte


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