# If you lost it all...



## Just a Guy (Mar 27, 2012)

I was watching a biography show on Donald Trump the other day and watched how he was a hairs breath away from losing everything...today he's bigger than ever...

The last place I bought was a foreclosure where the guy had to be evicted by the bank and he walked away from the place...leaving me to dispose of everything. His entire life was in there and you could sort of guess the narrative of his life...

He wasn't very old, got married, had some kids, looks like he got injured at work, spent a long time in rehab, didn't recover well, got divorced, unemployed, broke, lost everything...very sad.

Having been hurt, and losing my income for a couple of years, I was faced with a similar situation and as I was dealing with the stuff couldn't help but shutter at the thought I was looking at a different possible outcome to my life had I just given up...

I'm pretty confidant that, should something happen to me again, and I lost everything, that I would just rebound and rebuild my life again...I'm not the personality to just give up.

Admittedly, I've set up my life up differently now and a whole heck of a lot would have to go wrong for me to be in trouble again, but if it did, I'm not too worried. Unfortunately, I see the majority of people going the other route...


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## KaeJS (Sep 28, 2010)

Golden Gate bridge for me.

Actually - I would probably just accumulate extreme amounts of debt and live like everyone else. LOL! :biggrin:


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## SkyFall (Jun 19, 2012)

Everytime I face hard time (and lets put it in perspective, my hard time is probably nothing compare to what you guys went through since I am still very unexperienced with life experience), I try to remind myself of two things.... First, I may be complaning about the situation, but I'm telling myself that the situation is probably not as bad and think about the sick child in the hospital dreaming to deal with problems like I have instead of his sickness... And second, my parents came to Canada with 4 kids, they couldn't speak English nor French.... and today they are successful in their business... so I am telling myself I have NO EXCUSES to fail with the tools I have, the education I have, etc.... Failure is not an option!


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## nobleea (Oct 11, 2013)

If it was financial ruin for whatever reason, yeah, wouldn't be a problem at all to recover and prosper. If it was a medical issue, I don't know could be tough. We live below our means, so long term disability insurance would cover most. The issue would be any care/drugs above that, like a live in caretaker.

But strictly financial issue like investment/business gone sour, lawsuit, divorce, etc, wouldn't have a problem getting back. In fact, I'd probably be even more aggressive in the pursuit.


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## Daniel A. (Mar 20, 2011)

We came to this world with nothing and will leave with nothing !!!!

People really do have options even when broke just a case of looking at the big picture.


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## uptoolate (Oct 9, 2011)

I'd be pretty bummed.


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## Nemo2 (Mar 1, 2012)

uptoolate said:


> I'd be pretty bummed.


Reminds me of a brief exchange I had with a guy who was leaving Saudi after a 6 year stint.....(one of those people who seem to search for walls to urinate their money up against)........I asked him if he was taking a vacation on his way back to Montreal......he replied that he wasn't and that he had to get right back to work......"I'm broke" he said.

I said "Wow, I'd be pretty depressed if I had nothing to show for 6 years in The Magic Kingdom".

He was silent for the better part of 30 seconds....and then said "Yeah".

End of conversation.


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## uptoolate (Oct 9, 2011)

Hopefully, he had a wealth of experiences. I think that is what the experts are saying these days - 'experiences, not things'. Still... Yeah!


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## donald (Apr 18, 2011)

The nice thing about losing it 'all' is a 'chance' to start from scratch(wiser)
That might not sound that appealing but there can be huge value in that
added bonus-you defeat fear of failure
that saying about the only way to make a diamond is to expose it to heat,i think people are like that,i think sometimes a major crisis in someones life(financial or otherwise)can be a huge blessing,all in how you 'frame' it
failure in business(situation-short term/challenges)are a right of passage.
how do you know what your 'made' of or how 'smart' you are if you have never been tested?the success path is littered with pot holes


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## Letran (Apr 7, 2014)

The higher you are the harder you fall. 

When I was young and had nothing. I didn't have a care in the world, stress-free. Money will come when I need it attitude.

10 years later high income, sizable portfolio, multiple properties. I feel I'm more stressed NOW, trying to protect and grow what I have now in comparison to my care free days when I had nothing. But then again its probably mostly worry how my wife and kids will adapt. not to mention my ego. 


Gotta remember, the number of zeroes in your bank account is not what defines you.


As other people have commented FINANCIALLY, once you know HOW to make money rebound is easier. 
Now HEALTH wise, I'm a wuss. Is Euthanasia legal yet?  Never really imagined a long life anyway. Live large, make a mark, Live fast. But then again, ask me again when I'm 40. ;-)


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## The ruined man (Apr 10, 2014)

I am going through a situation where my earnings have decreased substantially and am finding myself unemployable. I can say that it´s a crummy feeling not being able to provide for in the fashion that i was used to, or not being able to enjoy the things that i once took for granted. If i feel crummy now, i can´t even being to imagine how i would feel if i lost my remaining income, my home, etc. 

While it sounds positive to say, just pull yourself up by your boot straps and start again, not everyone is made of stern stuff. 

I think i would end up hitting the drink and call it a day...permanently.


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## Nemo2 (Mar 1, 2012)

The ruined man said:


> While it sounds positive to say, just pull yourself up by your boot straps and start again, not everyone is made of stern stuff.


I empathize.......this thread had us talking about what our options would be/could be if, at our ages, (on the cusp of 72 & 62), everything went Tango Uniform.

Right now both of us are in great health, but we wonder about the physiological, (not to mention psychological), impact of a virtual financial Armageddon........it would be almost totally debilitating on both counts we suspect, (and we're not sure about the 'almost').

Some time back, in speculative fantasy, we both agreed that, if we could magically be twenty (or thereabouts) again we'd walk away from everything with just the clothes we were wearing...but that's fanciful......being caught somewhere between retirement and death is painful reality.

I wish you well......hope things turn around for you!


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

Nemo2 said:


> I emphasize.......this thread had us talking about what our options would be/could be if, at our ages, (on the cusp of 72 & 62), everything went Tango Uniform.


ah..love those military expressions...TU, SNAFU, etc...my drill NCO used to shout at us on the parade square..."listen up you maggots!, you are the worse squad, I have ever had the pleasure of abusing in my entire career!"...ah those were the days...when men were men, and we had no excuses otherwise..:biggrin:



> Some time back, in speculative fantasy, we both agreed that, if we could magically be twenty (or thereabouts) again we'd walk away from everything with just the clothes we were wearing...but that's fanciful......being caught somewhere between retirement and death is painful reality.



Personally, I HAVE BEEN THROUGH FINANCIAL "armegeddon and been through HELL and back in a nasty nasty divorce that lasted nearly 4 years from the time of separation, lost my marital home, lost 50% of my life savings (RRSPs, Company pension), and ended up paying nearly $100,000 in legal fees..all the time while still working, paying spousal and child support to the tune of $2100 a month, but nearly 20 years later, in poor health ( lost the use of my legs), living alone and coping with what I have left....so if the OP thinks his is situation is bad...

You have to adopt an attitude that no matter what life throws at you..say a bunch of lemons..you can turn
around and make lemonade from that...it's all in the attitude and outlook...just remember that there
are always people out there in FAR WORSE SHAPE than you...look at the ICE BUCKET/ALS fundraiser craze out
there..ALS..one of the worse diseases known to man...your body shuts down bit by bit until all you have left
is your brain..thinking.....what went wrong?

and the last bit of advice from" old coot carve"..
"Even though you think you got it bad right now..Try to enjoy what is left of your life....life is TOO short and you will be dead for a Long..Long time!"


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## Nemo2 (Mar 1, 2012)

carverman said:


> ..look at the ICE BUCKET/ALS fundraiser craze out
> there..ALS..one of the worse diseases known to man...your body shuts down bit by bit until all you have left
> is your brain..thinking.....what went wrong?


I absolutely appreciate the severity of your situation and the fortitude you display in coping with it, (as to ALS, on the Ice Bucket site I mentioned Dennis Kaye with whom I had brief communication in 1994.....he died, aged 40, in 1995), but I believe the essence of this thread is not just to _survive_ traumatic downturns but rather to rebuild & regain all that you previously had, and perhaps more.....not easy, and often impossible........and the older one gets the more unlikely it is that one would prevail.

(Those with company pensions, which we personally do not have, are better situated to stay afloat if they lost everything else.......but 'staying afloat' and recouping are two entirely different things.)


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

Nemo2 said:


> I absolutely appreciate the severity of your situation and the fortitude you display in coping with it, (as to ALS, on the Ice Bucket site I mentioned Dennis Kaye with whom I had brief communication in 1994.....he died, aged 40, in 1995), but I believe the essence of this thread is not just to _survive_ traumatic downturns but rather to rebuild & regain all that you previously had, and perhaps more.....not easy, and often impossible........and the older one gets the more unlikely it is that one would prevail.


Yes, I understand the essence of this thread. Survival after a serious (financial) rather than healthwise downturn requires a *rethinking of what you have left *and *the time you may have to recover*. 

You may not recover what you had before completely, but in order not to get severely depressed, (and believe me I was devastated after I got handed down "my sentence" by the divorce judge), then go out and do a irrational act, you have to take time to let your senses cope with reality that life can be full of challenges and assess your'
situation and get some help if necessary.

Take for instance the late actor Robin Wiliams with his brutal divorce 'sentence" to pay $30 million to his one (or 2? or 3 wives?) , and his late life affliction with Parkinson's..that was a double whammy!...enough to push him over the edge and then decide to end it all. 



> *Part of the problem is that Robin himself actually planted the seeds and gave credibility to the money problems rumor* thanks to an interview he did with Parade magazine last year. In the interview, Robin was asked why he had chosen to return to television in the CBS sitcom "The Crazy Ones" (he was paid $165,000 an episode for the 22 episodes that aired before the show got canceled).
> 
> Here is Robin's exact response:
> 
> ...





> Robin Williams Net Worth $130 Million: Napa Valley Estate Plan Was A Secret, Trust Divided Among 3 Kids


,



> (Those with company pensions, which we personally do not have, are better situated to stay afloat if they lost everything else.......but 'staying afloat' and recouping are two entirely different things.)


Well maybe some out there will be better situated with their company pensions,,mine is in the process of being wound up, insufficient funds in the Nortel DB plan after they stopped contributing and went bankrupt.
In today's investment reality atmosphere, not enough growth in the fund to keep up with the pension payouts.


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## DayTek (Sep 26, 2013)

Back in January of 2011, my husband came home to tell me he was losing his job of 7 years. At that point, we were living extremely comfortable lifestyles...Broaching on Upper-middle class income between the 2 of us. We were taking major trips almost every year and paying down the mortgage well. He is a licensed machinist, but manufacturing jobs in our area were beginning to dry up. This month, he started his 11th new job in 3 years. It's been a string of contract work and layoffs and we are only hoping and praying this job is the one that holds fast. 

During the up and down roller-coaster of job loss and job searching (which included a huge income shift for us, of course), my Grandmother was diagnosed with adrenal glad cancer in January 2012. It spread, and she passed that November at the age of 69. She was the first person really close to me in my life that I watched get very sick and succumb to that sickness. Six months later, in April of 2013, my Grandfather was diagnosed with liver and lung cancer. He passed 6 weeks after diagnosis in May. Five months later, in October, my Mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. (Yes, I really hated the "C" word by then) She had a hysterectomy in December and we spent Christmas wondering if she would live the next year. December 27th, she was diagnosed _cancer-free_. It was a rare and aggressive cancer and it had not spread. My parents celebrated their 30th anniversary the next day and we drank to her health on New Years Eve.

The years between 2011 and 2013 were some of the most challenging of my life. At times, I really did feel I was "losing it all". I didn't like change (I'm still not fond of it) and so when the people close to me began getting sick or passing, I needed to deal with that change. I realized part of dealing with that change was *learning from it*.

In 2012, every night before I went to bed, I began saying the Serenity Prayer...Out loud. I know it frontwards and backwards now. For those who haven't heard it:

"God, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Taking as He did, this sinful world - As it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that he will make all things right, if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen"

I went through periods where I felt God had very much abandoned me, because I did not know why He would allow all of this to happen at once. A lot of the time, I would cry as I struggled through the prayer. The most difficult line to get through was _"Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace"_. It was hard to even say the words because when you are going through hardships, it is difficult to find any peace around it or through it. But I did. Coupled with leaning on my faith, I also sought counseling for the first time, which at first I was ashamed of. But I realized that if you are dealing with a situation in an unhealthy way, professional advice is the right way to go to learn how to cope with that.

Loss is something that can be learned from. There is a saying - "It doesn't get easier, you just get stronger." I would agree with that a lot. I do not see money as the catalyst for my happiness any more. I can control it to a certain extent, but it will never solve some circumstances in life. It is a tool to me, and I continue to focus on it in that way. I was glad that in our income loss, as household CFO I had not put us in a position that we would struggle or go into debt...Just make lifestyle changes. I could deal with that because I had family, friends and faith. With those, I could never really "lose it all".


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## OptsyEagle (Nov 29, 2009)

I've always said that we all need a near death experience, probably about every couple of years or so, to remind us of what is REALLY important in our lives and what we still have, not what we want or have lost.

It really puts into perspective how pathetic most of the things that bother us, really are. Not all issues are pathetic, just 99% of them.


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## Just a Guy (Mar 27, 2012)

donald said:


> The nice thing about losing it 'all' is a 'chance' to start from scratch(wiser)
> That might not sound that appealing but there can be huge value in that
> added bonus-you defeat fear of failure
> that saying about the only way to make a diamond is to expose it to heat,i think people are like that,i think sometimes a major crisis in someones life(financial or otherwise)can be a huge blessing,all in how you 'frame' it
> ...


Yeah, I don't think I'd be as well off today if it wasn't for the accident. I'd already started dabbling in investing, but the accident really made me focus my attention on it. Not to say I wouldn't have done well, but I was certainly complacent...the accident, and subsequent changes it brought made me a lot better off in the long run. 

It also had me make some hard choices like short term debt (living off credit cards for several months) instead of selling my investments (which take time to pay off), and really trust in my path. 

What was truly amazing is how fast the turnaround came when it happened...

As long as I have my mind, I can turn around my finances...if I don't have my mind, I probably won't know any different, so it won't matter. Hopefully my kids have picked up the stuff I've been trying to teach them.


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

donald said:


> the *success path is littered with pot holes*


It all depends whether they find these "pot" holes or not. 
If not, then you can be assured that you will be quite successful in your provisioning endeavours.:biggrin:


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## donald (Apr 18, 2011)

I went through a rough year myself.
Multiply thing involving:real-estate(vacant land problems-lawyers/city land development etc,still pending),termination of a contract(50% of my business,client grew so fast)due to a workplace accident that happened in my company,loss of my foreman and best employee because of said accident(he nearly died and is in bad shape-paralyzed)more lawyers etc(government agencies/insurance companies etc)
When i need this business to back me(i worked for them for 7 yrs and was with them when they were small time!!!i took more of a chance at that time hitching my wagon to them,than the other way around)and they terminated me even though i had everything in place if a awful incident happened(they were never in 'danger' legally or otherwise.
Anyways.....nature of self employment i guess,ironically losing these scum bags was a blessing because now i have the time to work on more profitable contracts from private clients
But these 'challenges' were/are childs play compared to what my friend/worker is/has been going through.he nearly died in my arms this april(was a serious construction accident)i wake up every day thankful to be physical healthy!Move forward!be thankful!(even though i got heavy **** over my head right now)life aint pretty sometimes.
24 hrs a day,do what you can and live only one day at a time(of course plan!but know **** can change)i have always gave it 100% anyways in all things.


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## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

I think it depends how and why I lost it all. 

I have had rough patches before such as investing my borrowed money in the market at the high and having it plummet to half the amount in a few months, then going on mat leave, to find out that a month after my second child was born my spouse was laid off without much severance (1 week), going down to 19% of our normal income and finding out that I may be laid off if I returned to work, while our emergency funds where invested and now almost of of their value. That was a challenging time, but I learned a lot and we got through in a much better position. 

I think as long as my family has their physician and mental health, and we can work, we will find a away. If one of the family members was seriously ill, then I don't know what I would do. Health and family are the main things, money is only money and can be replaced.

So if I lost it all in terms of money and material things, I would figure it out, if it was really losing it all in terms of family, health and friends, that would be really different.


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## Itchy54 (Feb 12, 2012)

I must concur with the majority of the posts, if you have good health you can likely rebound from a financial crisis. Health is key.
At 49 I found myself fighting for my life after a bout of severe acute pancreatitis, cause still unknown(not a drinker). For 16 days I lay in a hospital bed with my body cavity grossly inflamed as the digestive fluids ravaged my intestines, lungs, kidney and liver. My husband worked 12 hours away after losing his job in our small town. Life was very, very scary.
Then it was thirty days of nothing by mouth, a lovely tube down my nose. 6 weeks later an operation to deal with the large pseudo cyst in my gut, then only weeks later a move to northern bc. Exactly eight weeks after the operation I joined the local gym, this was NOT going to affect my life. I have never looked back.
Money not so important....I can live off very little. My health means the world to me....and let me tell you, those little twinges I feel sometimes let me never forget what could happen again at any time....


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## carverman (Nov 8, 2010)

"My Way" (written by Canadian song writer Paul Anka, and sung by Frank Sinatra)

(This song has been adopted as My Philosophy on my life. )

And now, the end is here......And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear.....I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full ....I travelled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this,..... *I did it my way!*

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention (don't get married to the wrong person)
I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, ...each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, ......*I did it my way!*

*Yes, there were times*, ..........I'm sure you knew
*When I bit off more than I could chew*
But through it all, when there was doubt..I sucked it up and ....spit it out!
*I faced it all .....and I stood tall.... and did it.... my way!*

I've loved, I've laughed and cried..I've had my fill, *my share of losing*
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that...And may I say, *not in a shy way*,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, .........I did it my way!"

For what is a man..... what has he got?
If not himself,* then he has naught*
To say the things he truly feels........ and not the words of one.... who kneels
*The record shows... I took the blows .*....and did it MY..Wayyyyyyyyyy!


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## Rusty O'Toole (Feb 1, 2012)

This is an excellent question. I have seen the statement by many millionaires, in interviews and biographies, that if they lost all their money they could go to work and make it all back again in 5 years, because of what they know and the experience and skills they have.

Donald Trump is only one example, there are many famous millionaires who went broke at least once then made it all back.

On the other hand, how often have you heard of someone who won a big lottery prize, and 2 years later they were worse off than before they got the money? Lots, right?

Now suppose there were 2 stores, one offering classes in wealth building and money management, and another selling lottery tickets.

Which one would most people head for?


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## Ruger (Jan 5, 2014)

Honestly, at my age and current financial situation...all I'd stand to lose would be the rented roof over my head and my truck. I live paycheck to paycheck right now and desperately want to change that. That said, if for whatever reason I had to sell everything, my needs would be few:

- A cheap beater 4x4 pickup with a canopy
- A fly rod and lines
- 1 rifle, 1 shotgun and 1 .22 
- Enough part time work to buy a couple weeks of food, a few tanks of gas, some flies and a box of ammo now and then

I've honestly thought about chucking it all, selling nearly everything I own and going on to live day to day on a lake shore spending my time fishing, hunting and living off the land. I'd pick up seasonal or part time work here and there if/when I needed money.


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