# Spliting expenses as a married couple



## jean-denis (Jun 30, 2017)

Hello there!

(I'm new to this forum and I hope it's the right place to post this...)

I'm in married since 10 years now and we have always kept our bank accounts separated. I know that a lot of couples put everything in common, but even if we love and trust each other, we need to keep kind of independency when it comes to our money.
Especially I don't want to ask to buy some tech gadget and feel guilty to use some money from our common pot. Since she feels exactly the same we are well together 

But we obviously also have lots of expenses that we have to pay together (house, groceries, cars, kids activities, ...). And to make things a bit more complex, since our incomes were not equals we decided to go for a bill split based of our income ratios. By not equal I mean I made approx. 30-40% more than her, depending our the period of our lives.
I have always found fair to pay more since I earn more, as long as we both have some money left for our hobbies or personal stuff. Income ratios seemed to us the right thing to do since it allows us to have the same percentage of our incomes as extra pocket money.

So, as an IT guy, I started with an Excel spreadsheet and enter every months the bills in it, then refresh our incomes and tell her what amount she has to reimburse to me, or to the credit card (a joint one).
But at some point she became bored about me telling her a 'number' coming out of nowhere that she doesn't understand easily and that I wasn't able to explain except by showing the boring excel sheet full of numbers and calculations. And since it wasn't easy to collaborate it remained a one guy boring job.

Then I decided to roll up my sleeves and use my professional abilities to do a better job: build a tool that would allow us to keep track of our couple expenses together and track reimbursements much more easily, and in a more collaborative way.

So after one year of work, lots of week ends and late coding nights, learning a lot of new cool technologies, framework and techniques, I've managed to build a web application, which is basically a website working either on phones and desktops (we called that responsive design) which allow us to enter expenses and then select what kind of split we want to achieve : (Income ratio (fair), 50/50, 100% for me, 100% for the other). 
No matter the account we use, (I can pay some couple expense stuff with my own debit card, or buy some personal stuff on amazon with the shared credit card) It basically all goes down to what kind of split I want to do.

As soon as I enter an expense, the money I have to transfer is computed, and I know exactly how much I have to transfer to each of our accounts/cards. Same for her: she sees every couple expenses with the amount she owes for this expense, according to the split method, then she can adjust the split method if she needs it, enter some more expenses she has done for the couple with her personal account and see in live why she has to transfer some money to some of our accounts/cards.

I've also added an algorithm to minimize the number of transfers to reduce transfer fees, and complexity.


And you, how are you doing to keep your mental sanity and peace in your couple when it comes to splitting bills, especially long after your first date?


Thanks for reading, (and sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language)
Jean-Denis


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

This seems so complicated. How do we keep our sanity? We keep things simple and our money as a couple. We merged our accounts after our first child was born, only because that made sense and have never looked back.

To keep it fair, we discuss common goals, we don't always agree on the small things, but we agree on the big things (usually or discuss it until we have a compromise). 
We used to put a dollar amount to what we needed to discuss. In the beginning when we started out, it was anything over $200 many years ago, which just kept increasing as we made more, now we generally only discuss long term purchases that will have an impact. We can pretty much buy whatever we want, but discuss those thing that will impact our goals such as retirement. We have constraints, such as nothing on credit/no debt, if it's more than a whole pay check, then we should speak to each other. 

I think our system is fairly simple, all money goes into a joint accounts, money gets allocated into bills (non discretionary like utilities taxes, etc), savings for RRSPS, TSFA, and RESPs (this takes some more planning), an account for non registered accounts for large purchases such as vehicles, then our savings. If we seem to be going lower in our bank accounts we tell each other, and the spending gets reigned in.


----------



## jean-denis (Jun 30, 2017)

Thanks for you reply!

I understand what you're saying, and indeed your solution is much more simple.

But may I ask you how do you do when it comes to personal expenses like hobbies for example? Do you allocate an amount for each of you every month? How do you keep track of the 'unused' amount so you can buy a more expensive but still personal stuff after several month of 'savings'?


----------



## OnlyMyOpinion (Sep 1, 2013)

Welcome to CMF.

I agree with PA, sounds too complicated. Also, sound more like room-mates splitting costs than a married couple, but I recognize that everyone is different so I'm not saying what is right or wrong.

Married, we always considered everything to be 50/50 regardless of income. One made much more than the other and one also spent many years at home with the children. 
We never seemed to have a problem where one of us wanted some expensive toy or hobby. We did things and spent money on them together (like saving, investing, traveling, buying a house, starting a family, etc).

You don't mention how you fund your investments such as TSFA and RRSP. Having the higher income spouse pay more of the monthly expenses to allow the other to save an equal amount for investments is one of the few legitimate ways to build up equal amounts of investment income. Or having the higher income spouse contribute to a spousal RRSP or provide the money for their TSFA.

I imagine some couples set aside a certain amount each month for 'themselves' and then everything else becomes part of the 'household' income but we never found that necessary.


----------



## canew90 (Jul 13, 2016)

We've been married for 53 years and never kept separate accounts (accept when we set up our rrsp's). If we ever split I've always felt she should get half if not more, as she did more to keep the family together and probably had the harder job. 

One can't judge a book by it's title. Not sure if it applies, but I've known couples who seem great together and when they split there was a war to settle, what I felt should be a simple matter.

So I guess it personal and each couple should do what they feel best for them, hmm sounds like investing advice.


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

jean-denis said:


> Thanks for you reply!
> 
> I understand what you're saying, and indeed your solution is much more simple.
> 
> But may I ask you how do you do when it comes to personal expenses like hobbies for example? Do you allocate an amount for each of you every month? How do you keep track of the 'unused' amount so you can buy a more expensive but still personal stuff after several month of 'savings'?


In the beginning, we would just discuss more expensive items, at one point anything over $500. We have never really kept track because in the end it balanced out. An example is my spouse has picked up a very expensive sport this year. He has spent probably $5000 on equiptment. fees, training, games, etc. this year. It's really just a discussion that there is larger spending on the near future. If there are different priorities then we discuss it. It still comes out of the same pot of money. If there is something large one is saving for, we are essentially both saving for it. I have another savings account under my name (only because we were too lazy to change it), and we set aside for larger purchases such as big family vacation, vehicles, large maintenance items. I do this because I know my spouse is impulsive with these areas, and often spends more than what I want. This could be easily modified by just reversing everything that you have done. All money goes into the joint, then allocate you own individual spending into your own accounts. Only one transfer per person per month. Neither of us feels guilt for our spending because we first make sure the big priorities are covered likes the bills, childcare, and all savings plus major purchases. 

As a couple, we have gone rough many different scenarios. When dating, we kept everything seperate. When living together, we divided responsibilities of specific expenditures to each person, it wasn't exact but it played to our strengths. . When enagage, we put money from our individual accounts to a joint for the wedding. When one was unemployed, the other just covered everything, I don't think we ever 'paid back' the other person. When we had our first child, we merged everything to reduce banking fees and were down to one income. 

Whatever the scenario, the key thing is that you and your spouse keep talking and ensure both ar happy with the situation. If it's not working, then adjust.


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

I should have also asked, what's the problem you arhave trying to solve? Is it that one partner spends too much, you disagree on what the person should spend, one feels guilty, your u are not meeting your goals? Etc. That makes a big difference on how the finances are set up.


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

I see nothing wrong in the OP and his wife keeping separate accounts. Many couples I know function best this way especially when both are relatively independent and earn their own way. Or it is a second marriage later in life, etc. 

But what the couple should so is to have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for common household expenses. Each puts in X and X.... or X and Y each month in the joint account to fund household expenses and they both agree on what these common expenses are. If there is an expensive month and the account is low, then each puts (transfers) additional funds into the household account. All other expenses are to the individual's personal account. It is easiest when both individuals have their banking accounts at the same institution. Then monthly transfers to the joint chequing account are very easy to do online. 

DW and I have functioned very well this way from the get go. We each have our own banking and investment accounts and credit cards. We also have a joint chequing account and credit card. I contribute X and she contributes something less than X.. since I have more income. It is the same number each month unless the joint account depletes too much, or builds up too much. The bank balance varies at the end of each month due to varying amount of expenditure and may be as low as $1000 or as high as $5000. Then we do a one month adjustment to bring it back in line and continue on. We live happily this way. 

It is a good idea for each to have their own credit rating and control of their accounts for the 50% of the time relationships (marriages and common law) break up. Get over it folks! This is the 21st century.


----------



## ian (Jun 18, 2016)

I don't think that there is any right answer to this. 

We have always shared accounts through 40 plus years of marriage. The only accounts that are not shared are those set up individually for tax reasons.


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

ian said:


> I don't think that there is any right answer to this.


Agreed. There are only answers that work for each couple. FWIW though, more and more millennial couples are managing their own affairs, enter/leave relationships more often, are casually, or self-employed, etc. It makes a lot more sense for such couples to operate with more flexibility.


----------



## john.cray (Dec 7, 2016)

Correct me if I am wrong, but from what I learned from the recent study of attribution rules it sounds like the easiest way to achieve income splitting is for the spouse in the higher tax bracket to pay for most/all of the expenses while the spouse in the lower bracket saves most/all of her income then invests it and pays less tax on the earned dividends and capital gains.

Does any other couple here practice this and how does it bode with the idea of splitting expenses between spouses?


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

john.cray said:


> Correct me if I am wrong, but from what I learned from the recent study of attribution rules it sounds like the easiest way to achieve income splitting is for the spouse in the higher tax bracket to pay for most/all of the expenses while the spouse in the lower bracket saves most/all of her income then invests it and pays less tax on the earned dividends and capital gains.
> 
> Does any other couple here practice this and how does it bode with the idea of splitting expenses between spouses?


Indeed. It is perfectly legit for the higher income spouse to pay household expenses and for the lower income spouse to make the investments in her/his name... from a taxation perspective, and clearly many couples do that (reported in CMF and elsewhere over the years). That works if both are on the same page and both take interest in the couple's financial affairs.

This doesn't obviously work as well with spouses who split expenses either equally or disproportionately. It depends on a couple's relationship dynamics, individual net worth, and degree of independence wanted.

Neither approach is wrong. It matters what is most important to each couple. Taxation minimization isn't necessarily the most important item in a relationship.


----------



## Plugging Along (Jan 3, 2011)

AltaRed said:


> I see nothing wrong in the OP and his wife keeping separate accounts. Many couples I know function best this way especially when both are relatively independent and earn their own way. Or it is a second marriage later in life, etc.
> 
> But what the couple should so is to have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for common household expenses. Each puts in X and X.... or X and Y each month in the joint account to fund household expenses and they both agree on what these common expenses are. If there is an expensive month and the account is low, then each puts (transfers) additional funds into the household account. All other expenses are to the individual's personal account. It is easiest when both individuals have their banking accounts at the same institution. Then monthly transfers to the joint chequing account are very easy to do online.
> 
> ...


Great points, especially about the credit ratings. We have had times thr Ugh self employment that my spouse couldn't get a mortgage, so it had to be all on me. We both have opened at least a couple of credit cards in ur own names, and then added the other as supplementary.


----------



## john.cray (Dec 7, 2016)

AltaRed said:


> Taxation minimization isn't necessarily the most important item in a relationship.


What ?! Then this relationship clearly needs some counselling


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

Plugging Along, beyond that, I have seen way too many widows frozen with that 'deer in the headlights' look when the 'controlling' spouse dies and the widow is suddenly overwhelmed. This mostly happened with Great Depression era couples but would not be surprised to see the same problem with a majority of the Boomer generation (my generation). 

Anecdotally, I don't think it happens nearly as much with Gen Xers? (my kids generation). My 2 adult children and my spouse's 3 adult children, all within the age range of 35-42 have what I'd call fairly balanced relationships with both spouses being on equal footing with each other (all spouses work) AND I believe all of them having at least some separate accounts. Each spouse definitely makes at least some independent purchase decisions. It is the way it should be. 

IOW, I wouldn't suggest the younger readers here listen too much from the Boomers here.


----------



## OhGreatGuru (May 24, 2009)

This sounds so weird compared to my own marital experience, I'm hesitant to comment. But I know many modern couples believe in keeping more separate accounts.

_...I know that a lot of couples put everything in common, but even if we love and trust each other, we need to keep kind of independency when it comes to our money. Especially I don't want to ask to buy some tech gadget and feel guilty to use some money from our common pot. Since she feels exactly the same we are well together _

This part is good news at least - you are on the same general wavelength. But it's the details that are killing you. Making complex spreadsheets (and even algorithms!) may be your thing, but to her it's probably micromanaging and obsessive. I don't blame her for thinking the spreadsheet is just a "black box", because really, the results you get depend on all the variables you choose to input. The spreadsheet itself doesn't do the critical thinking.

Maybe try a more broad brush approach, rather then splitting every bill by some ratio related to your earnings. Try to work out a budget for common expenses (food, housing, utilities, insurance, etc) and agree to split them proportional to your income. Open a joint account to pay for those if it helps with your bookkeeping. Each of you then deposits a specified amount of their pay into that account each month or pay period. Keep your separate accounts for "personal" expenses. But then you need to have a discussion about how to budget/save for things like vacations; car replacements; home improvements, etc.


----------



## Mookie (Feb 29, 2012)

AltaRed said:


> But what the couple should so is to have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for common household expenses. Each puts in X and X.... or X and Y each month in the joint account to fund household expenses and they both agree on what these common expenses are. If there is an expensive month and the account is low, then each puts (transfers) additional funds into the household account. All other expenses are to the individual's personal account.


Jean-Denis, if you really prefer to keep finances separate, AltaRed's approach above seems very simple and easy to understand and manage. Just dump a proportionately fair amount of income into a joint account periodically to cover joint expenses. Done. No nonsense. I think your interest in IT is causing you to over-complicate the solution. 

My wife and I have had joint accounts since the day we were married, and it has worked out fine for us. As others have said, we just consult each other when one wants to make a large purchase. Remember, you're on the same team now.


----------



## ian (Jun 18, 2016)

My spouse worked on a casual basis after having children.

For tax reasons, attribution of income, our accountant advised us to set up spousal loans. It was a good time to do it as the CRA rate was, and still is, one percent. The spousal loan can remain at that interest rate notwithstanding any future increases in the market interest rate. Works well as long as you remember to document the loan AND transfer the interest no later than I think Jan 15 of the following year.


----------



## Earl (Apr 5, 2016)

I can't even get a date.


----------



## cedebe (Feb 1, 2012)

Earl said:


> I can't even get a date.


+1


----------



## My Own Advisor (Sep 24, 2012)

While every couple is different, this is what we do:

1. Pool all money regardless of income. We are a couple and partnership after all.
2. Pay ourselves first. >15% of our net income goes towards maxing out TFSAs every year, maxed out RRSPs, etc.
3. Pay mortgage debt.
4. Put a few hundred each into "play/have fun" money accounts for each person. Do with money as you please - take "boys trips", go to the spa with girlfriends, whatever. 
5. In joint account = spend whatever else is left; as much as we want up to avoiding taking on any additional debt. (e.g., enjoy a nice meal out, enjoy festivals, etc.)
6. Enjoy life without complicated spreadsheets. Automate savings and money transfers as much as possible. 

Anyhow, that's just us. Everyone is different.


----------



## CalgaryPotato (Mar 7, 2015)

I don't really believe in the separate account things for married couples. Especially in the case (which happens more often than not) where one spouse makes more than the other. Suddenly you have one spouse who has more access to spending money than the other. I can't imagine having money inequality in my own home. 

If i'm making a major purchase of course I'm going to ask my wife, even if we had separate accounts I would do that. What if one spouse is trying to plan a family vacation, but the other keeps spending all of their money on tech without asking?

And honestly if I took all of the expenses in my household and divided them between family spending and individual spending, the individual money would be such an insignificant portion that I can't imagine the hassle just to keep that separate.


----------



## kcowan (Jul 1, 2010)

We keep everything separate but reconcile expenses a couple of times a year from each account.


----------



## Daniel A. (Mar 20, 2011)

At one time all our accounts were joint, my wife and I never really agreed on spending when the kids were growing up money came in money went out.

For the past seven years we have had separate accounts, some things she is responsible for paying and others are on my plate we are both retired. 
My wife does like to buy things so this works much better for us, she can spend what she wants and it does not affect me.
For household stuff I don't keep score as such this % or that, if we need something I just go buy it.


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

CalgaryPotato said:


> I don't really believe in the separate account things for married couples. Especially in the case (which happens more often than not) where one spouse makes more than the other. Suddenly you have one spouse who has more access to spending money than the other. I can't imagine having money inequality in my own home.
> 
> If i'm making a major purchase of course I'm going to ask my wife, even if we had separate accounts I would do that. What if one spouse is trying to plan a family vacation, but the other keeps spending all of their money on tech without asking?
> 
> And honestly if I took all of the expenses in my household and divided them between family spending and individual spending, the individual money would be such an insignificant portion that I can't imagine the hassle just to keep that separate.


The key is to fund the joint household account 'well' including vacations and basic furnishings. The higher income spouse can (and certainly should) contribute a disproportionate amount of income to the joint account. It is what we do and it works well. If I want that new vehicle and it is not necessary, it is on my account only, and my responsibility. If she wants to drive her vehicle into the ground, that is her decision. If the house needs a new roof, that is a joint account decision decided mutually.


----------



## off.by.10 (Mar 16, 2014)

AltaRed said:


> But what the couple should so is to have one joint chequing account and one joint credit card for common household expenses. Each puts in X and X.... or X and Y each month in the joint account to fund household expenses and they both agree on what these common expenses are. If there is an expensive month and the account is low, then each puts (transfers) additional funds into the household account. All other expenses are to the individual's personal account. It is easiest when both individuals have their banking accounts at the same institution. Then monthly transfers to the joint chequing account are very easy to do online.


That's exactly how we work over here. We also split the common expenses in proportion to our income. That's fairly easy to keep track of with the joint account. There are only a few extra things to consider like medical insurance which is deducted directly from one person's paycheck but is really a family expense.


----------



## Marc (Jan 16, 2015)

My spouse and I each have our own bank accounts. We have a joint account that funds all household expenses. Annually we set a contribution ratio based on our previous year's total income earned. For 2017, I contribute 63% of the expense and savings budget into the joint account and my spouse contributes 37%. Every pay day, an automatic transfer moves our expense and savings funds into the joint account. 
Hobbies and other 'wants' are then funded by the remaining money we each have in our own personal accounts. We've done this for the past 12 years and so far things have been good. We are each proportionately contributing to the expenses and this seems to be the fairest way to do this. Annually we also determine our investment goals and factor those into this joint account so that we can systematically and regularly contribute to our RRSP, TFSA and Non Registered savings. It's worked for us without any issues.


----------



## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

When you said 'I DO', that's when 2 individuals became 1 family. A family is a unity. 'Separate' should not be part of your vocabulary.

When it comes to saving, you save for 1 common goal. And when you spend, you spend together. There should be enough trust in the family that 1 will not go out and splurge on things such as a diamond ring or a Ferrari which will put the household finances in jeopardy. 

Once all the "common" expenses are paid, how much money do you really have left over? And if your spouse is missing a few dollars to buy a new pair of shoes that you know will make her happy, but you have lots of disposable income, would you not cover for her? What if she lost her job? Would you expect her to withdraw her savings to pay your living expenses? Or start an IOU? 

Souviens-tu "dans le bonheur ou dans les épreuves, et nous soutenir l'un l'autre, tout au long de notre vie"??


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

You are entitled to your opinion AND to manage household finances as mutually agreed between you and your spouse. But you have no right to dictate what others do, for a variety of reasons specific to each couple. As long as a 'system' works well for a couple, and that is the operative phrase... works well for a couple..... that is all that matters. The OP will need to absorb the various opinions here to formulate a workable solution with his spouse.

P.S. I do agree the OP's current methodology is 'over the top' and that is apparent in the spouse's detachment in the process.


----------



## CalgaryPotato (Mar 7, 2015)

AltaRed said:


> The key is to fund the joint household account 'well' including vacations and basic furnishings. The higher income spouse can (and certainly should) contribute a disproportionate amount of income to the joint account. It is what we do and it works well. If I want that new vehicle and it is not necessary, it is on my account only, and my responsibility. If she wants to drive her vehicle into the ground, that is her decision. If the house needs a new roof, that is a joint account decision decided mutually.


I guess for me, my wife and I have two vehicles and neither of them really belong to either of us. We drive them both situationally and it changes all the time who is driving which vehicle more. I can't imagine making a vehicle decision without my spouse since they would be so affected by it.

I'd say it's pretty rare if someone could make a decision on a major purchase like a car that wouldn't effect the household family expenses/savings at all. 

Also higher income spouse contributing more makes sense, but it doesn't fix inequality. It's the same as flat tax. If both spouse contributes 70% of their income to the household expenses that sounds fair. But if the higher earning spouse earns 200K a year and the lower one earns 20K a year, then you have one spouse who has 60K in play money and the other that has 6K.


----------



## CalgaryPotato (Mar 7, 2015)

AltaRed said:


> You are entitled to your opinion AND to manage household finances as mutually agreed between you and your spouse. But you have no right to dictate what others do, for a variety of reasons specific to each couple. As long as a 'system' works well for a couple, and that is the operative phrase... works well for a couple..... that is all that matters. The OP will need to absorb the various opinions here to formulate a workable solution with his spouse.
> 
> P.S. I do agree the OP's current methodology is 'over the top' and that is apparent in the spouse's detachment in the process.


I agree, I just can't imagine that for the majority of couples the split expenses would be the best way to do things.

I could only imagine it working in a situation where both people are high earners over and above their lifestyle. Which is probably quite rare these days.


----------



## Mortgage u/w (Feb 6, 2014)

AltaRed said:


> You are entitled to your opinion AND to manage household finances as mutually agreed between you and your spouse. But you have no right to dictate what others do, for a variety of reasons specific to each couple. As long as a 'system' works well for a couple, and that is the operative phrase... works well for a couple..... that is all that matters. The OP will need to absorb the various opinions here to formulate a workable solution with his spouse.
> 
> P.S. I do agree the OP's current methodology is 'over the top' and that is apparent in the spouse's detachment in the process.


Don't find I was dictating, really. Just outlining my opinion.


----------



## AltaRed (Jun 8, 2009)

Mortgage u/w said:


> Don't find I was dictating, really. Just outlining my opinion.


Okay, I was a bit harsh... my apologies. We just need to remember there are hundreds, if not thousands, of scenarios that cause couples to find an arrangement that works. One has to think outside their own personal experience.

Example for splitting expenses: Empty nesters, second marriage (or co-hab) for both. A certain degree of assets and income need to be kept separate for estate purposes if each wants to benefit one's own heirs. 

Indeed, that might apply to any 2 people who get together with teen children from previous relationships, or even child rearing with support being paid by an ex-spouse. There are lots of reasons for separate accounts, with appropriate commingling.


----------



## Jaberwock (Aug 22, 2012)

I have an arrangement that has worked for many years. I earn the money, and she spends it.


----------



## blin10 (Jun 27, 2011)

that is definitely over the top and crazy... i'm old school with east european mentality, you're married and you're a man, so you gotta take care of your woman (this exact bill splitting is insane imo)... paying more (in general) shouldn't be an issue, it's like if a guy asks a girl out and at the end of the dinner asks to pay half (I know it's normal here, but I don't get it)


----------



## milhouse (Nov 16, 2016)

The missus isn't really into managing our financials so I kind of (embezzle) do the coordination of our money. :friendly_wink:

We have a shared chequing account and our own savings accounts. A percentage of our paychecks, based on our historical annual spends, go into the chequing account for all normal spends and the rest into our own savings accounts. We don't really question each other's basic spends as we're generally aligned on our spending habits. TFSA, RRSP, non-registered investments, travel without the other spouse, and expensive toys/purchases not intended to be used by the other spouse are drawn from our own savings accounts. I make about 25% more than the missus so I have more going to my savings. But it's not like I'm automatically spending it. I expect to have a larger portfolio than her during retirement and am working on a very conservative assumption that I will have to cover way more of the expenses in retirement. 

Anyways, it's way easier if your spending habits and savings goals are aligned.


----------



## Daniel A. (Mar 20, 2011)

When people comment on what works best for them handling finances in their relationship, sharing the burden works for some and some feel they should carry the load.

The greatest cause of marriage breakdown divorce is financial, couples not able to agree. Its always good to check in with your spouse on whatever plan you go with to avoid being a statistic both parties must be happy and involved.


----------



## Synergy (Mar 18, 2013)

Daniel A. said:


> The greatest cause of marriage breakdown divorce is financial, couples not able to agree.


Good luck to us all! Keep things simple and remember "a happy wife is a happy life". All kidding aside, communication is key.


----------



## OnlyMyOpinion (Sep 1, 2013)

Jaberwock said:


> I have an arrangement that has worked for many years. I earn the money, and she spends it.


:encouragement: The KISS principle in action


----------



## twa2w (Mar 5, 2016)

OnlyMyOpinion said:


> :encouragement: The KISS principle in action


Sounds like my wifes saying about money and income
What is his is ours
What is mine is mine 

His refers to me


----------



## jean-denis (Jun 30, 2017)

Wow, thank you all for all this suggestions/comments/ideas!

I was out for a couple days (holidays) and really happy to have all this to read now!


----------



## CalgaryPotato (Mar 7, 2015)

Daniel A. said:


> When people comment on what works best for them handling finances in their relationship, sharing the burden works for some and some feel they should carry the load.
> 
> The greatest cause of marriage breakdown divorce is financial, couples not able to agree. Its always good to check in with your spouse on whatever plan you go with to avoid being a statistic both parties must be happy and involved.


I think that is really the bottom line though. Both models, separate accounts and single account work fine when both couples agree on how to spend/save the money.

What makes me cringe is when people start saying they don't agree with their spouse on money at all and so they fix that with separate accounts. To me that'll only work so long unless you have unlimited money, because eventually if you're spending money on different priorities regardless of how the accounts are set up, there isn't going to be enough for someones priority.


----------



## BeautifulAngel (Jun 30, 2017)

I'm not married however, my boyfriend and I split the bills and choose which ones we each pay based on our individual income. We do not have shared accounts however, we are very open with our banking accounts and work together to reach certain goals such as a wedding, savings for a house, emergency fund etc. Even after marriage we will still have split accounts.


----------

