Dating

[donald]

I'd forgive a return(if it was only the same $amt)A upgrade would def be a slap in the face!OFF Topic-buying jewelery is tough stuff(i tryed that with a ex before and learned this:ie earnings didnt frame her ''face" right or something like that....lol)Don't know too many guys that know jewelery----Most of it is a hope and a pray and for good measure abit of hand-holding from the sales clerk!

Don't ''most" know there date already in some context???-------the google/gold-digger........unless it is completely blind-date.Blind dating is a whole different ball game(been there done that-like playing russian roulette)

[Barwelle]

The girl I'm seeing now... we did actually go on dinner+activity dates every time at the beginning, and she was great with offering to pay enough to be fair. To be honest, I don't think I would have pursued her if she didn't... I generally agree with the idea of chivalry and the guy should pay because usually he's the one who asks her out anyways, it's a tradition and I like keeping it... but after a while, both sides should be contributing. jcgd's post was interesting. I agree with you, I like having a masculine role to fill if I want to. I don't want to be 100% equals in the sense that you are talking about. But now that we are in the modern age where women have [nearly] equivalent capability to work and earn money... it's fair to want a woman to reasonably contribute to funding a relationship after the initial wooing.

Lately, now that we are comfortable enough to have each other at home, we have been cooking together at one of our homes. Cheaper, and more fun.

barwelle i suspect you are going to be what they call a Late Bloomer. They don't really come into their own until they're in their 30s. There's a long polishing process involved, but in the end they are pearls beyond price. It can be disappointing for a young man in his early 20s to see flash/truck making it so easily, but ask yourself this, would you really want those girls.

cheer up, bar. In the end, flash/truck is more likely to wind up a mess, while at 35 you'll be the porsche-driving lord of several thousand hectares ...

Thanks for the support humble, but no worries, I'm not getting down on myself about it... still trying to, yes, work on the polishing. I wouldn't be driving a porsche though. To paraphrase Henry Ford... I'd get something that comes in any colour, as long as it's green.

Anyone tried It's Just Lunch or POF ?

I tried POF for a few months. The girls on there get a lot of messages, so you've really gotta stand out.

I teach my kids not to split cheques in restos, it's a tacky practice. Better to take things turnabout. An outing or 2, then the other person picks up the cheques for a while. Nobody keeps tab & nobody frets about the dollars. In the end, the only thing that matters is the relationship.

+1. Take turns, try to get roughly equal, but if you start counting pennies, it ruins the mood and could mean future issues.

[Plugging Along]

these are troubling messages. Troubling because they demean women. Troubling because they tiptoe on the edge of gender abuse.

& there's more. All the women i know, without exception, go overboard to share expenses. I teach my kids not to split cheques in restos, it's a tacky practice. Better to take things turnabout. An outing or 2, then the other person picks up the cheques for a while. Nobody keeps tab & nobody frets about the dollars. In the end, the only thing that matters is the relationship.

& i ask my young kids to take care, because a new acquaintance who is upfront cheap & stingy could mean a red flag. Cheap-fearful-deep-discount is not the life experience i want them to have. What i hope is that they will turn out to be generous & good to others.

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Wow, humble, couldn't agree with you more. The troubling part I found with some of these posts is that it shows a higher value on money than on the person.

Just because a lady doesn't pay on the first date, and doesn't like mcd's, makes them a gold digger. I was actually taught what you have taught your kids. I actually find it uncomfortable to split bills, I still have problems sometimes with close friends. I was taught to be generous, and what goes around comes around. I never kept track of who pays. Quite often I was more established than most of the guys around me, especially in my 20's. It actually concerns me about guys who worry about money so much. Generally people who are outright stingy with their money I find value money more than the relationship, and I would never want that.

Plugging Along... you weren't his date you were his Caddy LOL :P

Yeah... to add insult to injury, he took my balls that I lost, and I paid for the experience to be his caddy. I still laugh about it. As of now when I golf, I refuse to go with out at least a pull cart. I don't care how easy the coarse is.

It's getting sticky these days with equality and such. For example, I take great pride in paying on dates. Sure it's a gender role (and I'm all for equality) but it makes me feel special. Things like that cannot last with equality as the whole act is base on man taking care of woman. I'm finding it hard to articulate what I'm trying to say. For example, I like to do things for women, be kind to them, help them out, etc. Not because I think they need help, but cause it makes me feel good to do so regardless. With 100% equality these acts would pretty much be discriminatory - although they are now, but only from the viewpoint that is looking for discrimination.

In my home life I could never except a woman who didn't see herself as an equal to myself. I want someone who can stand side by side with me. I don't want someone who won't speak their mind, sits in the back seat, spends their life repressed. I need someone who can challenge and also work with me. I respect my partners wishes, goals, opinions, wants, needs...

But I also want to be able to stand in front of her and protect her. I want her to make me feel like I am the protector of my family. What's the point of being a man if all the natural instinct is stripped and all I am is unisex?

Gender equality and equality of any sort is a extremely complex issue. It's in no way black and white. The thing is, if you make everyone literally the same, what is the point to having a gender? The only things left would be bathroom use and pregnancy.

The balance is stripping the unwanted repression while leaving the natural instinct that in my opinion is healthy and normal. There is a difference between having to pay for a date and wanting to. The choice has to be decided by the individual rather than the society.

I really think this is the tough thing about dating and meeting someone, is for some, not offering to pay, you are a gold digger, for other's it's expected. It's always a fine line between gender roles and equality. I used to fight really hard for equality, and would push to prove that anything a male could do, I could do better. Now, as I am older, I have learned that I don't have to be better or equal at everything, unless I WANT to. There are some things I am just fine lettying my husband do.

Rough childhood what can I say
But I stand by my comments. While I wouldn't dream of actually taking a woman to McDonald's on a date (clearly was not a serious initial comment that began this discussion), I've seen the gold diggers first hand, and will call it like I see it. When I see a young lady have her fiancee return an engagement ring because the diamond wasn't big enough, ya, that's a gold digger. Definitely not a class act.

In my few short years I have learned time and time again that money can't buy class.
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Definately agree, money can't buy class, but pushing the extremes, and not even making an effort really is trying to test the date. I would be very grautious, but in shock if I was taken on a fast food date, I would even pay. Then if I realized that the person was just doing this because they were cheap (not because they couldn't afford any more), that would be the last date, and I gaurentee, that it would be his lost. I think you attract class by showing class.

[Young&Ambitious]

Yes really. And no, I definitely do not understand. Someone just spent $10,000 on you, you said, that's not good enough, I want a $20,000 ring.
I would understand spending $10,000 and exchanging it for a preferable $10,000 ring, but her complaint was literally that it was not expensive enough.

Size and money are different. You can get bigger for less quality and vice versa so I can understand wanting a certain look ie size. But based on your clarification I agree as $10k is a very decent price.

[Plugging Along]

I'm buying the domain. Anybody want to go 50-50 with me?

If I split half, don't expect me to put anything else out.

[Four Pillars]

If I split half, don't expect me to put anything else out.

Haha - nice one.

[dubmac]

I had dinner last night at "The Dark Table" - a restaurant chain that is somewhat "new". The restuarant is completely dark, and one places their order before entering with a waiter. You are served by a blind waiter/waitress. The entire experience is in the dark. Apparently there is a restaurant in Toronto I was dining with 3 women, and aksed whether they thought that a first/second date at that restaurant would be fun - (reponses varied from No, to maybe - one said it would be "a bit creepy!" Anyhoo - the food was somewhat sparse (lacking in quantity), and the fee somewhat excessive. A neat experience, but not one if you are particularly hungry. I don't know whether any singles in the forum would risk it.

edit: ths post is a little off-thread, maybe a new thread called "Good Restaurant's Thread" could be set up - but I'll wait for a critical mass of interest beforehand.

[riseofamillionaire]

This can be the logo on the website:

Classic. This thread is pretty awesome btw