Dating

[Plugging Along]

I was just thinking about the worst first (and last) date I EVER had. We talked on the phone alot. The other person was a huge golfer, I am always up for something new, but did say I never golfed before. He said he would show me how, and would be really easy going about it.

I borrowed some clubs, met up with the guy. I offered to pay for myself, he accepted, then he forgot something in his car, so I ended up paying for his. He didn't say much. He didn't want to rent a cart, or those little pull cart things, as he said it wasn't worth the money, and we could get some exercise. It was AWFUL... The guy was a serious golfer, so would get mad at me for not watching his ball, who knew that I was supposed to watch his balls, I didn't want to be too forward. He He also would ask me to pick up his bag as he planned he next stroke or looked for his ball, so I had to carry both sets of clubs. Heactually made me count most of my strokes, I stopped counting after I hit the hundreds, and started throwing the balls on the green. I lost 27 balls by the first 8 holes, and I am sure he was actually picking them up and pocketing them, as I found a couple with special markings that I had. He 'lent' me a few balls, until I could get to the club house to buy more. Then there were 9 more holes wtf!!! After 6 hours on the course, in very hot weather, I just wanted to get the heck out of there. He apparently had a great time, and tried to make a move on me, and asked when we could see each other again. I guess I was a good date because I paid, gave him some of my balls, and he ended up with a caddy for free. The part of the date was that I had sun stroke, so had a good excuse not to go out for dinner with him.

I still shake my head thinking about that date. Please boys, do not do anything like this to any future dates unless you want to remain single for the rest of your lives.

[peterk]

I'm afraid this post has gotten extremely off topic. The advice requested was regarding appropriate spending on dating for young people. Much of the advice being given is useful only to ~35 year olds seeking to become married because time is running out.

CMF is by far the best place to come to for finance related discussions. But I would respectfully suggest that the advice given here is as useful as the advice one would get if they came to CMF for information on how to repair their car's engine, and everyone in the forum chimed in with their opinions.

[Plugging Along]

Of coarse this thread Is going to be all opinions. There are no rules to dating, and one should spend what they are comfortable with and based on the image they want to portray.



It's the tangents which are the fun part of this thread.

[Four Pillars]

I'm afraid this post has gotten extremely off topic. The advice requested was regarding appropriate spending on dating for young people. Much of the advice being given is useful only to ~35 year olds seeking to become married because time is running out.

CMF is by far the best place to come to for finance related discussions. But I would respectfully suggest that the advice given here is as useful as the advice one would get if they came to CMF for information on how to repair their car's engine, and everyone in the forum chimed in with their opinions.

Off topic? So what?

Every single thread here has different opinions - especially the investing ones.

[humble_pie]

First date? An alcoholic drink followed by a brief walk around the town/park is the best first date there is. It gives you a chance to talk, sit close to each other to flirt, and costs ~$10.
Save movies and dinners at restaurants you want to try for friends or a serious (several months) girlfriend.
Spending 50 bucks on someone you've just met is only asking for trouble in that:
1) It sets a bad expectation from the start that you will provide for her when she hasn't done anything for you yet

Coupon date all the way...
Two can dine for $8.99 at McDonald's
50% off mini-putt
$2 off milk shake
If she sticks around for a second date you know she's a keeper!!!!

If it's the first date don't spend a lot because she'll expect it forever. Besides that, mcdees drivethru and movies at home. The walk by the river or downtown works well too, maybe buy a coffee just to not be a total cheap ass

these are troubling messages. Troubling because they demean women. Troubling because they tiptoe on the edge of gender abuse.

as it happens, i don't know any women of any age who would be willing to spend any time on a so-called "date" who hoards mcD half-price coupons. Labelling such women as shameful gold diggers is beyond ludicrous. Whatever happened to these posters when they were growing up, that their mothers & sisters taught them such attitudes.

& there's more. All the women i know, without exception, go overboard to share expenses. I teach my kids not to split cheques in restos, it's a tacky practice. Better to take things turnabout. An outing or 2, then the other person picks up the cheques for a while. Nobody keeps tab & nobody frets about the dollars. In the end, the only thing that matters is the relationship.

& i ask my young kids to take care, because a new acquaintance who is upfront cheap & stingy could mean a red flag. Cheap-fearful-deep-discount is not the life experience i want them to have. What i hope is that they will turn out to be generous & good to others.

fortunately, there are posters here saying be respectful. Get to know the date. Listen to the date, find out what she likes, dress right. Do healthy activities. Sports are good. Rollercoasters can be fun.

[Maybe Later]

I think my first date with my wife was lunch & a walk through a museum. It hardly seems to matter now who paid.

[Toronto.gal]

Labelling such women as shameful gold diggers is beyond ludicrous.

Could not agree more, but to be fair, no less grotesque than by insulting women via other adjectives.

Dmoney is on his way to his 1st million [congrats btw], so he needs to be careful with the potential opportunists out there looking for something other than a Mac Café on a 1st or 2nd date.

[Compounding1]

Plugging Along... you weren't his date you were his Caddy LOL :P

[humble_pie]

I was just thinking about the worst first (and last) date I EVER had ... Please boys, do not do anything like this to any future dates unless you want to remain single for the rest of your lives.

this is what i mean. Plugging wasn't cheap. It was a first date, but she paid for herself without turning a hair. And then she paid for him as well. It was class.

she didn't let any of this get to her one bit. Instead, she sized him up, had a good laugh, & years later got her money's worth back w interest when she turned him into a great story in an internet forum.

who won here ? who lost ? did the price of the date even matter, in the end ?

[jcgd]

It's getting sticky these days with equality and such. For example, I take great pride in paying on dates. Sure it's a gender role (and I'm all for equality) but it makes me feel special. Things like that cannot last with equality as the whole act is base on man taking care of woman. I'm finding it hard to articulate what I'm trying to say. For example, I like to do things for women, be kind to them, help them out, etc. Not because I think they need help, but cause it makes me feel good to do so regardless. With 100% equality these acts would pretty much be discriminatory - although they are now, but only from the viewpoint that is looking for discrimination.

In my home life I could never except a woman who didn't see herself as an equal to myself. I want someone who can stand side by side with me. I don't want someone who won't speak their mind, sits in the back seat, spends their life repressed. I need someone who can challenge and also work with me. I respect my partners wishes, goals, opinions, wants, needs...

But I also want to be able to stand in front of her and protect her. I want her to make me feel like I am the protector of my family. What's the point of being a man if all the natural instinct is stripped and all I am is unisex?

Gender equality and equality of any sort is a extremely complex issue. It's in no way black and white. The thing is, if you make everyone literally the same, what is the point to having a gender? The only things left would be bathroom use and pregnancy.

The balance is stripping the unwanted repression while leaving the natural instinct that in my opinion is healthy and normal. There is a difference between having to pay for a date and wanting to. The choice has to be decided by the individual rather than the society.