Moving to the states?

[Causalien]

So... I need some career advice.

I've recently received an offer to work in California, however not in the tech space. I've wanted to move to the states (and the tech hub) in the past, but the desire waned a bit in the past 2 years seeing how messed up they are... but the desire is still there. Being able to work along side brilliant tech mind was the dream. So the position kind of detract from that, but the location is the right place.

The position is something that I don't really like, tech marketing but I happen to have a knack for. And since the lead was from some family friend, bailing out after 2 years would damage my reputation in my human network. Refusing this position now would mean that I will never get another chance in the future.

The reason why I am a bit confused is because my life is going along fine and I am in the middle of pushing this one thing out. Having to make a decision of changing direction at the moment is giving me some stomach ache. I mean, I have been where I am for 2 years, I've once again started to build a social life. This would mean picking up and leaving again.

I am a bit inexperienced in dealing with this, so was hoping to hear some of you mensche can give me some clarifying thoughts.

[donald]

Id say it all comes down to weighting the pro & cons and break the decision down in all the area's.
Just from your words and your last pharagraph i'd say your ''gut''/life structure is telling you it's a no.
-You don't really like tech marketing
-You don't want to build a new social life
-You don't want to damage your human network(id say even if something did'nt pan out you likely would'nt damage it,imo)
-Your life is going along fine(not a bad place to be)

Then you got to look @ the hard facts-do you have to sell your house in canada?
-where you going to live?if you move.(housing costs ect)
-do you have a partner?what is her thoughts?(do you have kids)
-new salary?what is it?
-what are you leaving behind?
ect ect....(i don't know your personal sistuation)so many things to think about.

usually when your struggling with a decision and your stomach hurts it not a realistic option,nor a decision.(your likely free thinking,keep revisting it though,it's not time sensitive?keep it in the backburner)-don't force it/anything.Timing seems off though.

[LondonHomes]

1. You need to look after your own interests, everybody understands and respects that.
2. Joining an organization and sticking around for 2 years is a sufficient commitment to the company, and it shouldn't damage your rep in most cases.

[kcowan]

Caus
You will always find change to be stressful. Make sure that that isn't what is holding you down.

Many of my associates chose to move south and most of them enjoyed it. One didn't even though he worked there for 20 years. He is now back in Ottawa.

Another has happily retired in San Diego. A third is retired in Dallas.

These associates made out very well financially as a result of moving south, mainly the additional career room that such a move opened up.

[Plugging Along]

This is a highly personal question, and cannot be solved with just numbers or straight logic. It really comes down to what your over all goals and priorities are. I don’t remember a lot of your personal situation, so that really makes difference.

Some things to consider -
What are you leaving in your current situation in terms of relationships – family, friends, partner?
How deeply rooted are you here? The social life you mentioned sounds relatively new, so that can be refound there.
Is it just you, or are their kids and partner involved?
Is your goal to do this for experience, and adventure, and maybe come back, or is the intent longer term?
Will you enjoy what you are doing, even if it’s not exactly the tech field?
What will the standard of living be like compared to here in terms of cost vs pay, lifestyle, etc?
Will this help in the direction of the career you want to go?

My spouse and I have been through this scenario many many times. Each time we have choosen to stay where we are. The main reason was, I was really deeply rooted at my city where I have friends and family from decades back. I loved my job, and based on the cost of living, I would need to make 3 times more in order to have the same standards. Now, that I have kids, we wanted them to grow up near family.

Looking back, if I didn’t have kids, I would go now.

[Causalien]

I think the stomach ache is from the fact that I recognize this as the right opportunity at the right time and that to pursue this I will have to give up what I am currently working on. Which means I will never know if I can be successful on my own.

Relationships wise: No permanent partner, a few girls I am seeing/dating (I will be sad that this can't develop into a permanent one), a handful of new friends, best tenant I've met, a great neighboor, a worst neighboor that provide daily drama for my viewing pleasure.

One of the epiphany that came into being while tossing and turning is "WHY" I want to work at all. And that is to build camaraderie and network with people I want to work with. If I were to move, it'll most likely be permanent. 20 years +. However, I AM a globe trotter and I've made sure that I can just pick up and leave anytime anywhere (maybe this is a problem). Starting my own business proves to be a lonely process before I reach a large enough profitability to hire my employee #1. So, joining a company is a way to speed up the human network part.

Housing, I haven't thought about it. I read some scary article about $3500/ month rent in San Francisco (I thought they just had a housing crisis). So it'll most likely be in some cheap suburb.

What I will probably enjoy at the new position is that it's a relatively new subsidiaries, so I will get my hands on all the details of starting a new company in the states. The process of building one intrigues me. I like starting companies, but I will only ever want to permanently be with one that is entirely built on my own.

Don't want to sell the house yet. My tenant is great.

Rebuilding the social life is tiring, but am I just afraid of the thought of redoing it? Is it just fear of the lonely first year. However, I do have 2 long term friends in Cali already, even though they will not be in the vicinity, but I will at least be reconnecting with part of my past. I find that it gets harder to build friendships as I get older, but it's not like your old clique don't melt away from moving to different cities either. Do most of you experience having to rebuild your social circle many times in your life? I am sort of thinking, I might want to stop moving for opportunities to build a strong social network.

Salary is enough, higher than anything in my past. However... not $3500k /month rent worthy.

Hope this gives you all the insights. Let me know if I skipped some questions.

[Young&Ambitious]

If it doesn't work out, you can come back. Maybe not to the same job, but the place and people will generally be the same.

[Plugging Along]

I think the stomach ache is from the fact that I recognize this as the right opportunity at the right time and that to pursue this I will have to give up what I am currently working on. Which means I will never know if I can be successful on my own.

Relationships wise: No permanent partner, a few girls I am seeing/dating (I will be sad that this can't develop into a permanent one), a handful of new friends, best tenant I've met, a great neighboor, a worst neighboor that provide daily drama for my viewing pleasure.

One of the epiphany that came into being while tossing and turning is "WHY" I want to work at all. And that is to build camaraderie and network with people I want to work with. If I were to move, it'll most likely be permanent. 20 years +. However, I AM a globe trotter and I've made sure that I can just pick up and leave anytime anywhere (maybe this is a problem). Starting my own business proves to be a lonely process before I reach a large enough profitability to hire my employee #1. So, joining a company is a way to speed up the human network part.

Housing, I haven't thought about it. I read some scary article about $3500/ month rent in San Francisco (I thought they just had a housing crisis). So it'll most likely be in some cheap suburb.

What I will probably enjoy at the new position is that it's a relatively new subsidiaries, so I will get my hands on all the details of starting a new company in the states. The process of building one intrigues me. I like starting companies, but I will only ever want to permanently be with one that is entirely built on my own.

Don't want to sell the house yet. My tenant is great.

Rebuilding the social life is tiring, but am I just afraid of the thought of redoing it? Is it just fear of the lonely first year. However, I do have 2 long term friends in Cali already, even though they will not be in the vicinity, but I will at least be reconnecting with part of my past. I find that it gets harder to build friendships as I get older, but it's not like your old clique don't melt away from moving to different cities either. Do most of you experience having to rebuild your social circle many times in your life? I am sort of thinking, I might want to stop moving for opportunities to build a strong social network.

Salary is enough, higher than anything in my past. However... not $3500k /month rent worthy.

Hope this gives you all the insights. Let me know if I skipped some questions.

Based on this, I reading that you would enjoy the work, and this is the right job at the right time. Your biggest concern was really the loneliness, and 'proving' you can do your own company. The loneliness will be a little challenge, but going out and meeting people is really defined how much effort you put into it. From financial, relationship, job satisfaction aspects, it sounds like its the right thing. From a social network, they can always be rebuilt.

Plus, I go to San Fran a lot, so I could visit ... but you would have 2 kids and a spouse in tow

[blin10]

"I find that it gets harder to build friendships as I get older" this is very true... it's very hard to have same friends from high school, many change (in a bad way), many move away, change of interests, some get girls who change them, etc, etc... I want to relocate as well to Europe since I'm really not feeling Canada lately, but got parents here, friends and gf which would be hard to move away from... did you also consider weather change? for me I don't like being so hot all year long, I need season changes

[marina628]

I would get out the spreadsheet and tackle the financial situation first ,do some research online for rent prices and possibly discuss the new job giving you a moving budget some rent costs if you would commit to 2 years.
I don't know your age but you can meet people if you join some sports clubs ie Volleyball in California must be great!
I took some risks in my life to build my business and it was the best thing i ever did for myself but I did have a plan to fall back on.Change is sometimes good