My wife and I always both made good money, I retired and she brings in the lions share now I couldn't be happier.
When home I have always done the cooking & cleaning nothing has changed other than I have more time.
My wife covers half the bills, then does what she wants with the rest.
Sometimes she takes me out for dinner other times she pays for my car repair bills.
Every man should hope for a wife that can earn as much as possible, it makes retirement easier.
I make more than my hubby but he has the more important job of taking care of our son.
Frankly with the hours I put in to make the money, I would have to stop doing lots of what I'm doing to make the money if he wasn't 100% behind me.
Let's use today as an example, got up early, went to the home office started doing some stuff, looked up it was noon and hubby had lunch ready (he brings it down) next I had to go to the bank, our son was going stir crazy so we all went together, when I got to the bank I realized i had left $11,000 worth of checks in the home office, we went back home then back to the bank. Finished the banking I had to do decided we all needed a change of pace and asked everyone to Pacific Mall to eat supper. While there I get a phone call by a potential tenant to see a place for rent, now usually we would just go as a group but Matthew is misbehaving. I drive them home, help put Matthew to bed, then go out to do a showing. I leave my house at 7:30 and get back around 9ish.
Is there a daycare in this city that has crazy brutal hours like that? A place where you can drop your kid off at 7-8 or whenever you need to work? Weekends etc.
Plus the biggest difference isn't really that...I like making money and I'm good at it. Truth be told once I've made the money, I don't care as much about it. Like yesterday I was talking to my hubby about the rental I did myself this month and it was over 4K. Plus of course all my property management gigs.
I make good money but we both work hard and I wouldn't be able to do it without him because of the crazy work hours. He cares for me. He makes sure I have food in my stomach and a granola bar in my purse. He is a special person.
We live a total role reversal and its great. Most men's egos are too fragile and delicate to be with a woman like me. And I'm crappy at housework and I hate it. So it all works out.
I am late on this bandwagon, but I will be honest with my response. I make about 3x the amount of my husband (not including bonus). I also do all the grocery shopping/ cleaning etc. I resent that he does not kick in more of the household chores and I attribute my attititude as being directly correlated to the fact that I expect him to do more because I earn more and work more. There you are....the honest truth. Not healthy- I know.
Originally Posted by Causalien
It sounds like you need to talk this out with DH before thebomb goes off!
Originally Posted by thebomb
Regarding a female boss, I don't see what the issue is.
The gender of my coworkers is irrelevant, I've worked with all types and all ability levels. Being male or female makes a slight shift in the interaction, but their general personality is a much larger impact.
As far as my spouses salary, don't see how that matters, but we got together before we had careers, and money is just a tool to do other things.
Money and income isn't how we value our relationship.
I didn't read through the whole thread because it shouldn't matter..in any relationship one will always make more than the other and overall it shouldn't matter matter.
Last edited by DanFo; 2012-07-04 at 09:58 PM.
I've been on both sides. Some relationships were bad, others good. I learned from them all.
My current spouse makes about 50% more than I do.
The best: when both parties cover 50% of the shared expenses (rent, food etc) and manage their own finances completely separately. That way, there's no resentment about who's making more, who pays the bills, whatever.
This only works when each partner is on the same page. We both have similar attitudes toward saving and investing - frugal, couch-potato, index fund based portfolios, good work ethic.
Another factor: we both have careers and don't have or want kids. I'm sure that adds a level of complexity to other relationships that we don't have to factor in. (nobody stays home to take care of the kids etc)
Nobody gets a free ride, nobody leeches off the other. It's a partnership.
Last edited by CJOttawa; 2012-07-04 at 10:50 PM.
When we were working I made many multiples of what my wife did. This was never an issue. She made low 6 figures and used her money for her own needs and savings. I paid all joint expenses. Now that we are retired she has a low 7 figure portfolio and pension that provides enough income for her personal needs while I continue to pay all joint expenses. We are totally on the same page concerning finances but I think it is still a good idea to keep them separate to a degree.
The world is changing and we (guys) need to get over our ego's regarding this. Canadians from more traditional cultures may be a little behind the curve on this one.
I'm a little late replying to this thread but thought I'd throw in my 2 cents as well.
My wife makes approx. 4 times what I make and I think it's awesome! I have a professional designation, and make just under $100k working for the government. I could make at least double if not more than that if I didn't work for the government, but then I'd be expected to work closer to 60 hrs/wk, instead of my current 40. Also, I have good benefits and pension, neither of which my wife has. I was also able to take off 9 months (at 93% of my salary) when each of our children were born, while my wife got pretty much no maternity leave benefits and went back to work 3 months after each birth.
For the first 6 years of our marriage, we lived off my salary and I paid her way through med school. The last 6 years she's made close to 4 times what I've made.
She sometimes feels like she should be doing more motherly things (cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc) but I just remind her that she's doing more than enough for our family by earning a large income (and that the nanny and I can handle the rest). She averages less than 40 hrs/wk at work, so she's still able to spend quite a bit of time with our kids. I do all the shopping and cooking, partly because I like to and partly because my wife is a very bad cook.
Our nanny is going to stay with us for 3 more years, until our youngest starts grade 1. We're discussing having me retire at that time (age 40), so I can be there before and after school, do the house and yardwork, shopping, cooking, etc. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this, but the ability to golf 5 days/wk while the kid's are in school (May-Jun & Sep-Oct) is definitely swaying me towards agreeing to this plan. In Jul & Aug I should still be able to golf almost every day, just taking our 2 kids with me (hopefully they'll both love golf as much as I do).
An interesting part of our relationship is that I handle all our finances, investments, banking, taxes, etc. I give my wife a 5-10 minute update every month or two, but she never looks at our accounts. She pretty much uses her credit card for all purchases, but when she's running low on cash she just asks me and I give her more cash.
Most of my buddies think it's awesome that my wife makes so much more than me, and I'm pretty sure wish their wives made a lot too. A number of people wonder why I'm still working now, and think I should speed up the 3 year retirement plan.
Great story jgood! I would put off retiring if I were you. Those benefits and DB pension are worth a lot. Plus there are daycare facilities that handle kids before and after school.