Frugality has created buyer's aversion - thoughts? - Page 2
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Thread: Frugality has created buyer's aversion - thoughts?

  1. #11
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    You aren't alone, I just recently went back to school and was so used to seeing my balance go up that since I've been back it's jsut been depleting. While I do work part time my expenses are still more than what I earn (gas, food, rent) but there are somethings you absolutely need to have.

    You have a good mentality and honestly you do need to live. Aslong as you are paying yourself first and have enough to cover your expenses you are ahead.

    When I was working I tried to save atleast 60% of my after tax income to give me some wiggle room.


  2. #12
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    I to have struggled with this sort of thing all my life. Frugal parents, not a lot of money and growing up on a farm where everything was reused and waste was a four letter word. In my opinion, being judgey for a moment, it is the ONLY intelligent way to live and to approach your money. To this day, I still secretly despise spendthrifts.

    That being said, what is a virtuous habit can spiral into a debilitating vice. I liked the one analogy upthread of the bag of chips. In school, I used to have the same attitude. Hmm, those chips look good but I'd rather have the $1 on the bank. Or I'd rather read a library book than go spend 12$ at the movies with friends (this was *gasp* pre-internet days !!) I have a sister and brother and at holiday gatherings, all our spouses make fun of the siblings for being cheap. My brother still wears t-shirts in public that he has that are older than his daughters (and one of them is in university).

    I'm lucky enough to be semi-retired now in my mid forties and I think we have enough money if I was to stop working entirely. But, old habits die hard. I keep working just enough to cover all our annual expenditures. Our nest egg throws off about the same amount of money but I can't bring myself to spend it. And when I do, it is typically spent on other people and what they want instead of myself. It somehow seems easier to spend money on loved ones.

    Still, there are worse problems.
    "That's what I do, I drink and I know things" - Tyrion Lannister

  3. #13
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    Buy the knife. You EASILY have te money, your love to cook. It will bring you enjoyment, and it's one of those practical things you will use for years.
    On a 'smart' device, please excuse autocorrect/when letters are missing.

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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreatLaker View Post
    Life is for Living. Money is for Spending. What's the point of being the richest person in the retirement home?

    Having plans and goals makes it easier not to spend on things that don't bring you value. Remembering that a dollar saved now will compound to about $4 in 30 years, so that is how much spending now is taking away from your future.
    Agree that $ is for spending. My father always said it was only good for the things you could do with it.

    Yes, thinking of spending now taking away from one’s future can be powerfully motivating.

    In the years when I owed money on my house I was to tight that I squeaked, as my granny would say. But it served me well. Back in the days of 10-12% house mortgages, I would always choose paying down the mortgage above anything that could not wholly be justified. My work colleagues would go out of the office for coffee once (often twice) a day and sit in a coffee shop where they would pay a dollar or whatever, plus tip and tax for a cup of coffee. I almost never did. I would reckon that that $1 for coffee could go to my mortgage. If it went for coffee, then that coffee would cost me $1.10 in the first year (adding interest at 10% that could have been avoided) and an ongoing interest expense thereafter. So I would buy a 2-lb. tin of coffee at Safeway and have coffee at home before work for about 5 cents a cup.

    After a few years, I would hear people whose incomes were equal to or greater than mine say things to me like “You’re lucky. You’re rich. You own a house in Kerrisdale, a waterfront home in the gulf islands, etc., etc.” Yes, true. But they were going to nice restaurants, buying those Starbucks “tall” coffees (never cared for all that Starbucks jargon), driving their new BMWs, trips to Paris, etc. For me, I had to choose. It was no sacrifice at all to eschew some of those ephemeral things to live in what I found to be very agreeable surroundings every day of the year. I suppose there are some who are content to live in a slum, provided they can come and go in their new cars. We all make choices. Mine are superior to no one’s. When I bought my first Vancouver house, I parked my car in the back yard for a full year to save the approx. $100 annual cost of insuring it. I wanted the house more than the convenience of the car. Well worth it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Koogie View Post
    I liked the one analogy upthread of the bag of chips. In school, I used to have the same attitude. Hmm, those chips look good but I'd rather have the $1 on the bank. Or I'd rather read a library book than go spend 12$ at the movies with friends (this was *gasp* pre-internet days !!) I have a sister and brother and at holiday gatherings, all our spouses make fun of the siblings for being cheap. My brother still wears t-shirts in public that he has that are older than his daughters (and one of them is in university).
    A friend in law school liked doughnuts. She would wince at the cost of a dozen of ‘em, but still allow herself to buy them on the “in for a penny, in for a pound” principle. She would say she was in so much debt already, what difference would the cost of the doughnuts make? I kept quiet. I had no debt in law school. I had no “help” from anyone for the costs. I worked part-time and lived frugally. The one splurge was home. I rented a house in a nice part of town. Most students lived in residence or in crappy apartments. I wanted to go home every day to a pleasant environment, with some garden, no sounds coming at me through a wall, etc. To me, well worth it. That continues to this day. As far as where I live is concerned, no expense is too great. My home is my refuge, my castle. Ditto for food. I'll pay whatever it takes for quality ingredients. That was not always the way. I ate my fair share of peanut butter sandwiches in my university years, before peanut allergies came into vogue - unheard of in those days.

    My wife grew up in very modest circumstances. It has taken some effort to convince her that I mean it when I tell her do not try to save money on food. Years of working and investing have placed me in a position not to have to pay much attention to the grocery bill. That does not mean we spend recklessly. Again, to quote my daddy: "I don't like to be taken."

    I dare say I have more than a few shirts older than Koogie’s nieces. They still function as shirts. Why pay to replace them? Today I could afford a closet full of designer shirts, but I see no point. Too old, maybe.

    Years ago I had a gf who would buy clothing at Value Village. I refused to even go inside with her. That was one place where I would draw the line. The idea of wearing second-hand garments made me a bit squeamish. One day I broke down and went in with her. I had to make a few furtive glances up and down the street first, lest anyone who knew me should see me entering such a place.

    Once inside, I did a bit of wandering around on my own and I soon found myself tempted by some of the good deals. I became a convert. Of course, even my gf had to keep up pretences. If going to Value Village, she would take along a couple of Holt Renfrew bags to re-pack her purchases. She did not want to be seen on the street or entering her apartment building carrying one of those big plastic bags with “Value Village” emblazoned thereon. She could hold her head high being seen with those Holt Renfrew packagings.

    As an aside, I have to say that Value Village is no longer a good deal. Maybe too many like me started going there. Some of their prices now exceed retail. But there remain some "thrift shop" places where the odd deal can be found.

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by motl View Post
    So I'm typically a very frugal person.
    I don't think you're a frugal person. No, you're pinching pennies on many things so that you can afford to go on expensive vacations every year. You're ok with spending $1,700 on a vacation to Mexico but won't spend properly on yourself throughout the year.

    We can't take vacations that are farther away than say, a couple hours drive from home. It'll be like this for a while still and it got me thinking about what I can do since there are no $2,000 vacations for me. I now eat mostly organic food, buy the best leather boots, buy the top of the line skillets (no cheap teflon), etc. Often, I order the most expensive meals at restaurants. We sip champagne when we thirsty (this one's not true -Notorious BIG). I'm enjoying spreading out the "extras" on me all year and eating the best food at the grocery store is certainly better than exposing myself to Noro virus on vacation.

    Is it sour grapes? Could be, but since I have to forego fancy vacations I spend money on myself that I would have given to strangers for a cheap bed in a hotel somewhere.

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsPartridge View Post
    I don't think you're a frugal person. No, you're pinching pennies on many things so that you can afford to go on expensive vacations every year. You're ok with spending $1,700 on a vacation to Mexico but won't spend properly on yourself throughout the year.

    We can't take vacations that are farther away than say, a couple hours drive from home. It'll be like this for a while still and it got me thinking about what I can do since there are no $2,000 vacations for me. I now eat mostly organic food, buy the best leather boots, buy the top of the line skillets (no cheap teflon), etc. Often, I order the most expensive meals at restaurants. We sip champagne when we thirsty (this one's not true -Notorious BIG). I'm enjoying spreading out the "extras" on me all year and eating the best food at the grocery store is certainly better than exposing myself to Noro virus on vacation.

    Is it sour grapes? Could be, but since I have to forego fancy vacations I spend money on myself that I would have given to strangers for a cheap bed in a hotel somewhere.
    I could afford to go on those vacations either way. And $1700 for 2.5 weeks in Mexico (including kenneling my dog) was a frugal vacation.

    I 'penny pinch' to achieve a high savings rate and pursue early retirement. My vacations are worked into my budgets and serve as rewarding breaks.

    Planned, budgeted items like that are different than spending frivolously on everyday items. Generally speaking.

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsPartridge View Post
    I don't think you're a frugal person. No, you're pinching pennies on many things so that you can afford to go on expensive vacations every year. You're ok with spending $1,700 on a vacation to Mexico but won't spend properly on yourself throughout the year.

    We can't take vacations that are farther away than say, a couple hours drive from home. It'll be like this for a while still and it got me thinking about what I can do since there are no $2,000 vacations for me. I now eat mostly organic food, buy the best leather boots, buy the top of the line skillets (no cheap teflon), etc. Often, I order the most expensive meals at restaurants. We sip champagne when we thirsty (this one's not true -Notorious BIG). I'm enjoying spreading out the "extras" on me all year and eating the best food at the grocery store is certainly better than exposing myself to Noro virus on vacation.

    Is it sour grapes? Could be, but since I have to forego fancy vacations I spend money on myself that I would have given to strangers for a cheap bed in a hotel somewhere.
    Disagree. That is a matter of choice in my opinion.

    In the long run, I have found that when you spend a little more money than you normally would on say, shoes, for example, it tends to work out better in the long run as they usually don't wear out or look weathered as quickly as the cheaper things do. You are purchasing items made with much better quality materials usually. It can't be said for everything you wear but it seems to be my experience with good quality shoes and boots.

    My wife used to buy 80-120 dollar dress type boots for work and by the end of the winter they were in rough shape for the most part. Some she would get the soles re done and other repairs here and there. The last pair I talked her into getting a good pair at over $300 on sale. They look almost like the day she bought them, over 2 years ago. Well worth the extra money in my eyes.

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by motl View Post
    Thanks, great response.

    New sale started tonight at the company selling the jacket I was eyeing. Such a good deal I also added a shirt priced 2-3 times what I normally spend (but big sale for amazing quality), and am excited for them to arrive! Spent about $315 for a jacket + shirt, more than the entire outfit I wore today cost

    You get your knife?
    As I was about to order it I realized it might be better to head to a Japanese knife store downtown and see what they have so I can test them in-person. But I've given myself the rule that I'm not allowed to leave without buying one

    I did order some clothes that was sitting in my shopping cart for about a month though!

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mukhang pera View Post
    Agree that $ is for spending. My father always said it was only good for the things you could do with it.
    Your father was right, but you are wrong. One of the important things you can do with money is invest it in ways that secure your long term independence and security. ie: NOT spend it.

    Personally, I think the mere fact that the O/P is agonizing over the decision means he is totally on track. Folks that get into money trouble would have spent it the minute it came into their heads and certainly wouldn't be posting here.

  11. #20
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    You have to live your life and be able to spend on what's important to you. I know for me my motivation to not be overly frugal is that I've had a number of family members either die or get a debilitating disease within months to a couple of years after retirement. (or earlier)

    You can't take it with you, and this is why you need to have financial goals in life (short, medium and long term). If you are saving money, but you don't even know what you are saving it for, what is the point? It's no different than spending wildly because you have no plan.


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